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Love is helping a child start their journey with the tools for resilience. | |
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The Heroic Journal
Living A Heroic Life In 2009 and Beyond | |
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For anyone who has experienced the emotional and inspirational power of a movie or story, I invite you to peruse this February edition of The Heroic Journal. If you have received previous volumes of The Heroic Journal, this month we focus on love and resilience in it's many forms. If you are new to The Heroic Journal, let me recap a little about the Heroic Journey (archives are found at www.theomnibuscenter.com). In the coming months, The Heroic Journal will feature stories from veterans, business owners, cancer survivors, parents who have lost their children and much, much more. We hope you will stay with us on this monthly journey.
The Heroic Journey is an timeless framework that has been around since the beginning of humankind. The elements of the framework were apparent in ancient art, which was a part of storytelling in a cultural community. For centuries, storytelling has been a way to instruct, to inspire and to worship, and particularly, to help individuals and communities get through very difficult life events. Before Carl Jung and Joseph Campbell made the Heroic Journey more mainstream, Otto Rank, identified the universal elements of the framework in the late 1800's. Those universal elements are laid out below:
Separation - a time when we begin to leave our old ways of thinking or living and begin to grow in a new direction. In movies, the separation may be indicated as the main characters begin to start an "adventure" or are thrown into a dilemma. Separation often has two sections to it:
- The Call - when life literally CALLS us to act. Sometimes the call is voluntary and is experienced in longings, interests, restlessness or a sense of emptiness. If the Call is involuntary, it can be a sudden life experience which must to be adapted to. This type of Call may be experienced as a job loss, a death of a loved one, a community tragedy, etc.
- The Refusal of the Call - when we put off accepting what we are called to do. This may occur because we are "too busy" to make the changes now, or we are uncertain what steps to take. If we deny the Call for periods of time, the Refusal may have very serious consequences, such as: ignoring health indicators, relationship difficulties, the beginning of money issues and more.
Into the Unknown - a time when a shift of awareness and action occurs
- Crossing the First Threshold - is when we make a decision, change our way of thinking and/or take decisive first action in response to The Call. This Crossing moves us from where we were in our ordinary life, to a new place of thought and or action.
The Initiation - when the "budding hero" (gender neutral language) is initiated by a series of experiences which end up strengthening their abilities, help them to develop new skills, and test their emotional, physical and spiritual endurance, focus and commitment to the journey. It is not a comfortable time, but a time that is essential to character development. The Initation has three primary sections:
- The Road of Trials - the small, but difficult tasks which must be endured to strengthen the budding heroes resolve and build the skills needed during this stage. This is akin to Basic Training in the military. During this time the initiate or budding hero may wish to quit prematurely.
- The Belly of the Whale (also called The Abyss, The Wilderness Wanderings, The Emotional Winter and The Dark Night of the Soul) is the deepest and most uncomfortable part of the journey. A time of letting go. There is usually very little energy to continue the journey, they may need a time of rest and during the rest, new energy and resolve comes to finish the "adventure."
- The Ordeal - a very active part of the above stage. In movies, this may be when the main character is fighting the enemy, retrieving the secret and prized object or person, is face to face with what threatens him/her most. By this point the hero is nearly completed the journey and has been transformed by the "adventure" or journey.
The Return - The Return the "hero" returns to ordinary life transformed by the experience. After the positive changes that have occurred, the hero now can positively impact others, because of the wisdom the hero has gained from the journey. Family, friends and the community can reap the benefits from the transformation of the hero. During this time, he/she will also support other budding heroes along the way, while also preparing for the next journey.
The Heroic Journey is a part of all human life and is reflected in movies, literature and stories which inspire us to be our best self.
Each month The Heroic Journey will share real life stories of people who have faced challenges and have been transformed.
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You may have received this brochure because you have attended a speech or training (particularly Three Stages of Healing: Counseling Victims of Trauma) by Melissa "Missy" Bradley in the past eight years. If you prefer not to receive these once a month journals to become more acquainted with the study of the journey, you may opt out at the very end of this newsletter.
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Teaching Children to Be Resilient |
| by Missy Bradley |
February is a month which symbolizes love (Valentine's Day) and resilience (President's Day, Black History Month & American Heart Association - Wear Redmonth). Febru-ary is also the birth month of parents who taught me the heroic framework. Although they didn't use the words The Call, The Crossing, etc., my father taught me about resilience through relating stories of family and friends who faced very difficult times in life.
While growing up in my family, the nightly dinner ritual was story-telling and philosophizing. I was told stories of people, including my Dad and his family members, who faced great adversity and HOW they got through that adversity. Hundreds of stories reinforced the normalcy of experiencing feelings of doubt, fear, uncertainty, confusion, exhaustion, but not letting those feelings stop the life we are each meant to live. These stories told included tales of abuse in my father's family (most whom I never met), multiple strokes, paralysis and overcoming the paralysis in the 1920's. I also heard about the Great Depression, being broke, unemployed and people getting back on their feet (to a multi-million dollar business). The truths of those stories became burned into my synapes, so when I experienced very painful life events, those truths and the lessons they conveyed sat beside me during those times of Initiation (The Road of Trials, The Belly of the Whale and the Ordeal). A simply dinner ritual has helped me, for decades, to be resilient...tired...but resilient... terrified...but resilient...uncertain what my next step may be, but determined to take one more step. Although my brother and I sometimes question the accuracy of some of the stories told, the truth of those lessons taught are uneffected by the possible embellishment.
So, five decades after some of the stories were told, my parent's wisdom continues to live on in my life. Those gifts are timeless and free.
We can turn the entertainment of movies and television and family rituals into powerful teachable moments. Instead of a movie or story simply being a baby-sitter or a way to get a child to sleep, have a few minutes of discussion by beginning to connect the dots, by asking questions. A parent might ask a child, How was [main character] tested? What was the test? What do you believe that character thought or felt as they faced that challenge? Who helped the character? When they got through the challenge, how were they changed? Of course, the types of questions have to be geared for the age of child.
Certainly movies and stories are not just for children. By taking some time to reflect on a story, those stories can indicate similar challenges in our lives. A great resource is www.teachwithmovies.org .
Next month, we will look at the movies which changed the lives of well-known individuals and what the movie taught them about life.
So, five decades after some of those stories were told, my parent's wisdom continues to live on. Even for those of us without children, we can each be a mentor or an ally to another. Those gifts are timeless and free.
In Memory, Honor and Gratitude of Norman and Melba Bradley
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Tao of the Road Warrior - Red-Eyed Hope |
| Finding Life Lessons in an Ordinary Day |
| Approximately eight years ago, I began a new jprofessional journey as a national clinical trainer, which has now taken me to hundreds of cities, forty-eight states (still waiting for North Dakota and Hawaii!) and the pleasure of meeting and teaching more than 40,000 individuals. The life of a "road warrior" is far from glamorous. One of the things I did in order to keep a little sanity was to write about the lessons from the road. Here is one of many from Tao of the Road Warrior series: Red-Eyed Hope.
Tao of the Road Warrior Series
Red-Eyed Inspiration 2003
The final tour of the year has concluded and after training people in 71 cities this year, I have been a student of life, learning many lessons about resilience, tragedy and the human spirit. Everything in 2003 reinforced the power of hope in a new day, belief in the process of life, the importance of family and friends, the amazing kindness and inspiration of strangers and the comfort of my spiritual resources. The opportunities for me to learn have been invaluable, even though there were times when I temporarily lost sight of their blessings.
Many memorable people crossed my path this year. One of my favorites was "Miss Irma." Her sparkling brown eyes reflected a life well-lived and indicated decades of gentleness and a toughness that brought her through. She was an elegant, even regal woman, even as she spoke of the pain of living and surviving as a black woman through the Civil Rights Movement. She was prepared for challenge, from the age of five, when she was orphaned after her parents died in a fire. The love of music and her grandparents helped her through those early years, but her teachers launched her passion for learning. Miss Irma graduated from college, a rare opportunity for a black woman born in 1912.
Before starting her career as a school teacher, she spent a decade touring the world with a famous singing group. Her time in other countries exposed her to cultural differences, but the biggest impact was the recognition of how people are so much alike. This was a great gift to her during the civil unrest of the 60's. Miss Irma found that love and kindness held more power than hatred and violence.
In 2001, her husband of 65 years died. Since he was often away as a member of the armed services, she had to learn a lot about fending for herself and that self-sufficiency still showed. Her early days as a widow had been difficult, but through her faith and "getting outside herself by helping others," she was able to rekindle her decades-long thirst for new adventures. In 2003 she started being "naughty" (her word, not mine). It seems that after nearly ninety years of making her bed every single morning as soon as her feet hit the floor, she has taken to getting up and intentionally leaving it unmade until after she makes herself a mug of hot tea and goes to sit on the balcony to watch the sunrise (in a loud stage whisper) in my bathrobe!" She encouraged me to enjoy the simple moments. "You know, at my age, the bed can wait, but watching another sunrise can't!" Because she feels like she has been so lucky to live such a good and full life, so she takes her luck on a shuttle into Atlantic City every couple of months just to play the slot machines.
Although it had been years since she had served as a school teacher, she continued to be an educator as she taught all of us within listening distance, about strength through adversity. We all could have listened to her for days. The flight attendants and people in the surrounding seats strained to hear her next story. Since I was reluctant to say good-bye to this fascinating woman, I walked her through the terminal and was able to meet her son and daughter-in-law who she was visiting. They greeted her with hugs, laughter and a large bouquet of roses. It was apparent the contagiousness of her spirit extended way beyond the confines of the jet. (As I edit this, now six years later, I can still feel the inspiration I felt the day I met her).
There were others in addition to Miss Irma. I learned a lot about the power of community. As I traveled to Maryland, I saw the healing of a community that had experienced a reign of terror by two snipers. The charred hillsides of Southern California, the devastating hurricanes in Texas and Florida and the communities hardest hit by "9-11" showed that when communities pull together during times of adversity and pain, with outstretched hands and a caring spirit, their collective strengths can rebuild and heal.
So, at 6am on December 20, 2003, the final leg of my red-eyed flight from the west coast has lifted off. I have already been up and in the same clothes for more than 24 hours and I am looking forward to reuniting with my husband and (four-legged) children. As I look out the window in numbed exhaustion, the night-lights of the city still shine brightly. The plane heads toward the beautiful magenta and orange horizon, always a glorious sight when flying at daybreak. I can see from where I had just departed, that it is still quite dark. There is no indication of daylight yet and the stars are still visible.
If I continue to look in that direction, all I can see is darkness. As in life, if we are unable or unwilling to turn towards the light there may be times in our lives when all we will be able to see is surrounding darkness. But we can turn our face toward the light, a Higher Power (or God of our understanding), the sun is always present, even when we can't always see it or feel its warmth. Living lives of love remind us we are all a reflection from one light source. I now face a new day, resting in the fact that daybreak always follows nightfall.
December 20, 2003 / February 14, 2009
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Stories of courage, tenacity and inspiration needed... |
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Do you have a story to tell? Perhaps you or someone you know has made it through a challenging time and would like to share about that experience with others. The Heroic Journal is looking for people who have gone through any of the following:
Loss of a loved one
War
A health challenge
Facing your own mortality
A career change
Loss of a job
Moving to a new place
A difficult school situation
A parenting challenge
Having a dream realized
The ending of a relationship
A time you got "unstuck"
An addiction you faced
A trauma
Tough financial times
Or any experience that has tested you and through the challenge, it become a blessing.
By telling your story, or even a PART of your story, you may inspire a person to take another step, to keep trying, to take a positive risk. Budding heroes need "old timers" to give those stories of hope.
If you wish to be interviewed for your story, rather than writing your story, that can be arranged. If you wish for your story to be anonymous, that can be arranged as well.
If you are interested, drop an email to Missy Bradley at heroicjourney@comcast.net |
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Heroic Resources for February |
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Learning More From Heroic Life Stories
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Since February is traditionally a time associated with "love," here are some heroic love stories:
 Helen Keller and Anne Sullivan
Anne Frank and Miep Gies
Christopher and Dana Reeve
Dr. Vivien Theodore Thomas
Phil and Donna Satow
Chris Gardner
Mother Teresa
(all these public figures may be googled for their heroic stories)
Two Five-Star Book Recommendations for February:
*****The Survivor's Club: The Secrets and Science that Could Save Your Life
Ben Sherwood (New York Times best-selling author) - an excellent book about resilience in situations such as accidents, serious illnesses, war and more. Sherwood also discusses the Resilience Gene and an online assessment of the type of survivor you might be.
*****The Way of the Wound: A Spirituality of Trauma and Transformation
Robert W. Grant (note: sometime this book is hard to find)
Two Old Women: An Alaska Legend of Betrayal, Courage and Survival
Velma Wallis - Based on a timeless Athabascan Indian legend
Website resources:
www.notalone.com - a dedicated community for veterans and their families and friends
www.kidney.org/transplantation/athletics/index.cfm - The National Kidney Foundation website which features (on the left side) real life stories of heroic journeys after transplants. Check out the YouTube interviews of the 2006 participants of the Transplant Olympics
Quotes for the Journey:
Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow"
Author unknown
Thriving is a little like riding a roller coaster. You first have to get on for the ride, and once you do you must stay on and ride the ups and downs.
Paul Pearsall, from The Beethoven Factor: The New Positive Psychology of Hardiness, Happiness, Healing and Hope
But at the bottom, in surrender so complete there is no coherent thoughts, no real pain, no feeling, just exhaustion, just waiting, there is something else. Warmth/light/softness. Acceptance, by me, of me. Rest. After a while, some strength. Enough, for now.
Terry Anderson, (about getting through the darkest of days during his 2,454 days in captivity beginning in March 1985) from Den of Lions, as reported in The Survivor's Club (book above).
Mystics and madmen swim in the same waters. One drowns and the other is reborn.
Joseph Campbell, from Hero with a Thousand Faces
For able-bodied people, paralysis is a choice - a choice to live with self-doubt and a fear of taking risks.
Christopher Reeve, from Nothing Is Impossible: Reflections on a New Life |
| Need CEU's? Clinical seminar coming to... |
| Get Your Clinical CEU's - Social workers, psychologists, nurses, psychiatrists, drug and alcohol counselors, pastoral counselors, marriage and family therapists, case managers, teachers, recoverying individuals and more... |
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The Psychology of Resilience:
A Multi-Modal Framework for Thriving Using the Heroic Journey is coming to:
February 17, 2009 - Roanoke, VA
February 18, 2009 - Winston-Salem, NC
February 19, 2009 - Charlotte, NC
February 20, 2009 - Columbia, SC
March 11, 2009 - Oakland, CA
March 12, 2009 - Sacramento, CA
March 13, 2009 - Santa Rosa, CA
March 16, 2009 - Fresno, CA
March 17, 2009 - San Jose, CA
March 18, 2009 - San Francisco, CA
April 6, 2009 - Sherman Oaks, CA
April 7, 2009 - Ontario, CA
April 8, 2009 - Las Vegas, NV
April 29, 2009 - Torrance/Redondo Beach, CA
April 30, 2009 - Anaheim, CA
May 1, 2009 - San Diego, CA
May 13, 2009 - Canada - City to be announced
May 14, 2009 - Canada - City to be announced
May 15, 2009 - Canada - City to be announced
More dates in the US and Canada are scheduled in Spring 2009. If you would like to see a brochure, you may find them at www.theomnibuscenter.com (under schedule 2009) or to sign up, call Cross Country Education 1-800-397-0180 or www.crosscountryeducation.com Seminars will be posted and available for registration approximately 45 days before the event.
Three Stages of Healing: Counseling Victims of Trauma
Clinical CEU self-study course
The self-study course "Three Stages of Healing: Counseling Victims of Trauma" is 6 hour (or 7.2 for nurses) for psychologists, social workers, case managers, marriage and family therapists, pastoral counselors and A & D counselors. This seminar is on audio CD's, you receive a 180 page manual and exam for CEU's. Three Stages is about moving from victim to thriver (Heroic Journey) after trauma. For more information, contact www.crosscountryeducation.com or Missy Bradley (developer and clinical trainer) at heroicjourney@comcast.net
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Melissa (Missy) Bradley, MS, NCC, BCETS, FAAETS
The Omnibus Center
Brentwood, TN
615-377-6002
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