Spring News  
Center For Family Connections
March/April 2011 - Vol 1, Issue 3
groupsCenter For Family Connections Groups, Trainings, and Events

 

 Click on any of the links under the photos for more information and a larger view of the flyer.

ARC ACTION save the date

Meeting of the Minds Save the Date


ARC ACTION brochure page 2 

 

Meeting of the Minds Brochure 


Pieces flyer

 

  Picking Up the Pieces Group

 

Drawn Together Group 

 Drawn Together Group 

 

 

Just Like Me Girls 

 

Just Like Me... Group 

 

Birthmothers Tea Flyer 

 

Birth Mother's Tea 

 

Adult Adoptee flier 

 

Adult Adoptees Group 

  

 

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From KAAN:  the Korean American Adoptee Adoptive Family Network

Dual Citizenship

 

There were many reasons why G.O.A.'L launched the Dual Citizenship Campaign. The system that allowed Korean adoptees to maintain dual citizenship was not widely known by the public and the adoption agencies actively discouraged adoptive parents from attaining dual citizenship for their child... 

 

For more of the above story, click here for KAAN's FaceBook page.  

 

For more information about the book Dual Citizenship, click here.



 

 

 

 

Social Security:  What's at Stake

 

Social Security: What's at Stake for Children, Youth and Grandfamilies

 

Generations United, along with a number of other child welfare organizations including NACAC, sponsored a briefing titled Social Security: What's at Stake for Children, Youth and Grandfamilies. The briefing will take place on Thursday, March 3, 2011, at 2:00 p.m. EST, at the Rayburn House Office Building in Washington, D.C.

 

Serving more than 6.5 million children, Social Security provides benefits to more children in the United States than any other federal program.

 

Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act of 2010: Categorical Eligibility for Free Meals to Foster Children
Signed into law by the President on December 13, 2010, the Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act of 2010 allows the US Department of Agriculture, for the first time in over 30 years, the chance to make real reforms to the school lunch and breakfast programs by improving the critical nutrition and hunger safety net for millions of children. It is also the legislative centerpiece of First Lady Michelle Obama's Let's Move! Initiative (Let's Move! site).The Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act of 2010 provides categorical eligibility to foster children for free meals served under the Richard B. Russell National School Lunch Act.  Click on the link below to access a memo that provides guidance to Regional Special Nutrition and State Child Nutrition Program Directors for implementing the new eligibility standards. It also encourages these Program Directors to reach out to State and local child welfare agencies to ensure timely and efficient implementation.


Child Nutrition Reauthorization 2010

  • If you would like to reach out directly to your State Child Nutrition Programs to collaborate on the implementation of the new law or to find out more information about implementation in your State, contact information can be found here  
  • More information about the Healthy, Hunger Free Kids Act of 2010 can be found by clicking here
     

 

New Supports for Youth Aging Out of Foster Care

 

 

Dear CfJJ Members and Friends:

Just catching up with the caption of our 

Jan. 27 JJ News - New Supports for Youth Aging Out of Foster Care - which you might have found a bit confusing, since the text which followed it was unrelated to the caption - sorry about that!

 

A new law that took effect last month 

extends much-needed services to youth 

who "age-out" of foster care each year in 

Massachusetts when they turn 18. With the youth's consent, the Department of 

Children and Families (DCF) will now be 

responsible for providing services until the youth turns 22. The law also requires that a personalized transition plan be provided to a youth before he or she leaves the care of DCF. The committing court will retain jurisdiction during the extension period and must approve the transition plan.

 

This is an important stabilizing support for 

the 500-700 youth who "age-out" of foster 

care each year in Massachusetts and who are at high risk for homelessness, 

unemployment, teen pregnancy and 

involvement with the criminal justice system.

 

Moreover, it will enable Massachusetts to 

access approximately $5 million each year in matching federal funds for extending foster care services.

 

The legislation originated as SB 40 

(sponsored by Senator Jennifer Flanagan) and was finally enacted as Sections 18-22 of Chapter 359 of the Acts of 2010 

Best wishes, 

Citizens for Juvenile Justice

101 Tremont Street, Suite 1000
Boston, MA 02108
Tel: 617-338-1050
Web  

 

Want a Family Vacation of a Lifetime?
Powderhouse Productions, in conjunction with a major cable network, is producing a TV series about the Ultimate Family Roadtrip!  A paid for vacation, family (with kids between 12-24) travel on a boat across the waterways of US.   You'll see the country, connect as a family, have some FUN...even become television personalities. The trip is paid for by the production company and network.  The commitment would be 8-10 weeks of filming in the summer (2012).   
What Powderhouse is looking for is the ultimate family road trip with fun and BIG personalities. 
There's more info on the Powderhouse website or by viewing the flyer here.

If you want to apply please send:

A brief bio talking about everyone in the family
Photos that show everyone!
Any videos you might have that show who you are!

To apply, please e-mail Powerhouse by clicking here.

 

Contemporary Families

Harvard Medical School, Department of Continuing Education is proud to present Contemporary Families - Contemporary Issues May 20 - 21, 2011 at the Boston Park Plaza Hotel, Boston, MA.  

 

Under the direction of Marshall Forstein, MD, Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao, Dr. Judy Reiner Platt, and Cynthia Telingator, MD, the objective of this course is to present the latest research and clinical findings on issues relevant for gay, lesbian, and heterosexual individuals or couples in, or planning to become, a contemporary family. Assisted reproductive technology, surrogacy, and adoption will be addressed, as will families experiencing contemporary issues, such as having a gay, lesbian, or transgendered child, or questions which may arise when a child is conceived through collaborative reproduction. As a result of attending this course, participants will be able to describe the dynamics facing alternative families; the clinical issues associated with choosing how to become a parent; and the concerns in transitioning from being a single individual or couple to becoming a family. Participants will be able to identify what we know and don't know about the new technologies; the biological, psychological, and sociological implications of creating and being a contemporary family; and its impact on children, adolescents, and parents. Material will be presented in lecture, panel, and question and answer formats. The course is intended for mental health clinicians and researchers, pediatricians, family practitioners, OB/GYN practitioners, nurses, and others interested in today's contemporary family.

 

For further information about this course, please contact:

 

Cambridge Health Alliance Physicians Organization (CHAPO-CME)

PO Box 398075-Inman Square

Cambridge, MA 02139

Phone:  617-503-8445

E-mail 

Website 

 


Greetings!

Spring into Action!! 

 

Having just been to Ireland where everything is verdant and flowering, then to DC where it was cherry blossom festival and daffodils were abounding, back north to Amherst where there are crocuses and forsythia peeking out and returning back to Cambridge where there is some sign of buds on forsythia and a few crocuses around town....Spring is approaching.

 

clover

We have a lot going on at CFFC. 

 

We get more and more new clients every week.  Some have insurance and some don't. 

Most insurance pays minimally and doesn't cover the collateral time that we have to spend on each case or the number of clinical staff that works on each case.  We do things in a certain model, because that is what is best for children and their many families. 

 

But we need support to do this work. 

 

Having Founded and run CFFC and its predecessors for over 33 years, I have to say that this is the hardest of times.  

 

We are about to run a dual conference (we've combined our 5th International Conference on Post Adoption Services which used to happen every two years and often in Dublin, Ireland with our 26th Annual ARC Summer Intensives), aptly named Meeting of the Minds.

 

We NEED five underwriters who will donate $10,000 each in order to make this happen.  Can you help by donating or by asking a friend who is able to make corporate donations for 501(c) 3 organizations (non profits)?

 

YOUR donation will educate a number of people directly, and exponentially it will touch about ten times that number!  This is a worthy cause.  

 

If each Friend of CFFC would help us to find some generous donors who could sponsor/underwrite, we would of course give them a page in our program and on our website and newsletter.  We love to collaborate and to reciprocate!  Can you help us to break even and maybe even make some money on this huge combination conference - Meeting of the Minds?

 

We have an amazing roster of speakers coming to the Cape this summer for the Combined ARC Intensives and Action International Post Adoption Conference July 10-14 (Meeting of the Minds brochure).   We desperately need co sponsors and underwriters for this event...It is a great way to advertise your business and your philanthropy.  With each donation of  $5,000 you will have three scholarships to send staff or employees, and the remainder will go toward creating the conference.  Think of summer and of Provincetown!! 

 

We are working very hard! 

 

We have many current cases of younger children who are hospitalized because of severe trauma reactions.  You can imagine how hard this is for a family who is doing everything they can, and are not prepared when the trauma of the past rears its head and causes this young child to feel desperate and hopeless - which sometimes manifests in rage and other times in despondency.  

 

We have many cases of teens who are feeling frantic and unsafe, negotiating huge issues around identity, loss, trauma, sexuality and self-esteem, while trying to negotiate friendships and academic pursuits.

 

april 

 

We have adult adopted people who have had reunions and are trying to do all of the work to have both their family of birth and their lifetime family understand why they need both families in order to feel whole and how difficult it is when either or both sides pull on them to 'choose'.  

 

There is no choice and was none for them! They were given two sets of parents in life and they are working hard, well into adulthood, to make all of this come together and to integrate who they started as with who they have become.

 

We work with adoptive parents who are struggling to keep their families whole and to balance themselves and their family as one or another child goes in and out of  the repercussions of loss and trauma.

 

We work with birth parents who find that when they are settled later and have children that they are raising, they have ongoing feeling of guilt and shame about the child that went away.

 

We have adoptive parents who have adult children and who have a very hard time as they confront infertility once again when their children are pregnant, as that is something that they had such trauma with and that led to the choice of adoption in many cases.

 

We have siblings and grandparents raising their family members' children because of traumatic brain injury from wars, because of additions, and because of domestic violence.  There are many people who cannot keep their children safe and who need to turn to someone else to do so.  This is far from easy, though.

 

We have kids and families using Facebook for good and for evil.  (See my recent article from Fostering Families Magazine)

 

Our Groups Program is amazing.  Jennifer Eckert has taken on the role of Groups Coordinator and is making them come alive!!!  We are running several, and you will see them all posted in this newsletter (see group listings here).  Some are for parents and kids together, some are for just parents and some are concurrent groups. 

 

All of them involve at least two - sometimes more - of our staff and are expensive to run, but - we think - very much needed. 

 

Groups are wonderful because we truly believe that "what is shareable is bearable" as Bruce Perry says.   We wish we had some support from our Federal Government or State Government, but they seem to have all abandoned children's issues, and therefore we can't do the groups for free.  We do charge, but we have a sliding scale and we will negotiate to try to make it possible for anyone who wants to attend.    Times are very hard and we need to stay alive and well so we can care for kids and their many families.

 

We have always done about $100,000 pro bono per year, but I would hazard a guess that in this past year it is closer to about $200,000 of our time for free.  We keep our extra hours and unpaid hours and list them as 'matching funds' so, if someone wishes to fund us, they will see that we mean business and we go the extra mile for our children and families.

 

Our Operations Team has been in flux for the past year, but it is getting grounded, and we are eager to have a solid foundation to hold all of the amazing clinical and training work that we are doing. 

 

My Travels for CFFC

 

I was in Ireland recently doing some trainings, and interviewing folks about the study that Valerie O'Brien and I are doing regarding the 'children that went away'...those sent out of Ireland illegally in the 30's to the 70's.  We are looking at Ireland as a 'sending and receiving' country (as they are currently doing mostly international adoptions).   The United States is also a 'sending and receiving' country and we will be doing some comparing and contrasting as we try to educate each other's professionals and the people who live and work in the world of adoption.  We are hoping to get a grant from the Irish America Fund.  Fingers crossed!

 

Speaking of grants, we did NOT get the Kellogg grant that we applied for and we are seeking other grantors avidly, as we are in a precarious position of late.

 

My upcoming summer will include writing grant proposals, writing 2 books and a new edition of The Family of Adoption for Beacon Press, working on refurbishing some models and our 'place' so that kids and families will feel welcome and happy in our space, and so our staff will as well.

 

Any and all donations will help us with our direct service and with creating a wonderful holding environment for our children and families.

 

What you can do

 

Find us underwriters (urgent) - five $10,000 donors would do it!!!! How can you help us?  Contact Ginger if you need any of our pdf materials to send a corporation or family foundation.

 

Donate $3,000 to pay for our annual volunteer cruise, which is on May 31st this year and will celebrate the staff and volunteers who give of their time and skills.

 

Donate $2,500 to spruce up the waiting room at CFFC's main building.

 

Donate $1,200 to pay for a Clinically Supervised Visit of a family in need.

 

Donate doll houses and multicultural people/dolls and furniture.

 

Donate art supplies galore or a gift certificate to purchase them.

 

Donate a new lightweight projector to take to other venues when we present about CFFC (about $4,000).

 

....

 

Enjoy the Spring.  

 

 Spring into Action and help us to help others!!

 

 

 

Allergically yours,

 

Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao

 

White Dad, Black Son and Raising Kids in a "Colorblind" World by Terry Keleher

terry nathan
Photo:  Bernard Kleina

"Whose baby is that?" "Is that your child?" 

Shortly after my adopted newborn son arrived, whenever we were out in public, we drew frequent stares and questions from strangers. Though we live in a racially diverse neighborhood, I didn't expect the sight of a middle-aged white man carrying an African American infant peering out from a colorful chest-worn sling to be such an attention grabber. 

When white people looked at us, they often seemed curious about the nature of our relationship, but few would ask questions. The unspoken code of etiquette was feigned "colorblindness," trying not to notice racial difference. Some genuinely expressed how cute my son was, while others over-emphasized the point, as if to prove their racial tolerance. Some tried to touch my son's hair, perhaps feeling more license to explore a seemingly exotic feature. I'd quickly reposition my son out of their reach.

Black adults and children were more direct, questioning whose kid this was and where I got him. Though often abrupt, they seemed sincere in looking out for this child as one of their own. Viewing me with suspicion is justifiable when you look at the big picture, where even well intentioned white people still don't have the best track record for effectively dealing with privilege, cultural differences or persistent inequality. 

As an educator by profession-and one who leads trainings about racial justice-I approach these interactions as "teachable moments." They're also "learnable moments" for me, for each has its own nuances needing skillful navigation. Instead of taking offense to intrusive questions or avoiding difficult conversations, I try to embrace them with patience and openness. I make exceptions when someone's downright rude, but that's rare. Sometimes I get things right, but often, I figure out later what I wish I would've said.

Whatever the racial composition of your family, we are all living in a highly racialized society. Parenting amidst a growing pretense of post-racialism poses new challenges that require new consciousness and skills.

For years, I deliberated over my options for creating a family. I knew the choice of an open transracial adoption of a newborn black child by a single, gay, white dad would involve daily and lifelong learning. Since I wasn't making choices about just my own life, my concerns provided plenty of fodder for sleepless nights. My hope was, and still is, that we'd find a way through the challenges, all the more wiser and perhaps even closer. I plunged into parenthood, fully embracing the steep learning curve ahead, but still so unprepared.

As a white person traveling solo, I can go about my business mostly unconscious, unnoticed and uninterrupted. With my son in the same places, a lot changes. I can only begin to imagine him, as a black youth or grown man, traveling these very places on his own. He's sure to encounter a whole different set of reactions with pedestrians, shopkeepers, teachers, prospective employers, landlords or police officers. These seemingly mundane interactions are connected to a web of cultural stereotypes, media images, biased institutions and unfair laws.

The way he'll need to respond will be different than the way I choose to respond. And we have to stay in sync when we're together. My white skin gets me over in ways his dark skin will not. I'm given the benefit of the doubt that I'm a normal upright citizen doing the right thing. I carry my racial privilege in all routine matters, regardless of how anti-racist or racist I may be. My son won't be given such a pass and he'll need to be prepared.

As my son nears seven years of age, the public interactions are changing. On our last airline trip, a security agent upon noticing our racial difference, looked my son directly in the eye while pointing at me, and asked him, "Who is this man?" Fortunately, my son didn't joke back, as he's quite capable of doing. I realized I hadn't prepared him enough for airport scrutiny, where he could easily be racially profiled. 

Last year, as a kindergartener at the local public school, when my son took another child's show-and-tell toy and hid it in his locker, he was sent to the principal's office with a formal disciplinary referral for stealing. It landed him an in-school detention and a call home from the principal. I never imagined I'd have to discuss with school personnel the absurdity of applying zero tolerance policies to 5 year olds. 

As the parent of a black child and member of a "conspicuous family," race will always be a conscious part of our daily lives. But being conscious about racism shouldn't be limited to families of color or mixed-race families, just as being unconscious about racism shouldn't be a luxury for so many white families. 

By all key indicators-economics, health, education, and more-the average white family fares better than the average family of color because of past and continuing bias. Yet, we downplay the disparities and dally with the delusion of a "colorblind" and "post-race" society. Racism won't disappear because of wishful thinking or blind magic. Replicating this denial in our homes and families only perpetuates the inequities.

Instead of colorblind parenting, where we try to protect our kids from racism by pretending it doesn't exist, we need to embrace racially conscientious parenting, where we prepare our children and ourselves to deal with reality so we can change it. It means choosing to become consciously and actively part of the solution instead of unconsciously and passively part of the problem. Parents have a particularly influential role to play in shaping the awareness and abilities of our children and in breaking down the barriers and bias of our neighborhood institutions, from schools and businesses to government agencies and social services.

Racially conscientious parenting involves awareness and action, commitment and courage, patience and persistence. These are all transferable traits we hone in other aspects of parenting. Racism insidiously replicates itself, but as parents, we are well positioned to be on the frontline of change. If we keep our eyes on the prize-racial equity for all-we can start at home, then work outward in our communities to build real and lasting change. Teaching, by example, how to create a more just world is one of the greatest gifts we can give our children.

See the above article in its original printing here. 

Hyde Schools Summer Sessions

 

Endless leadership opportunities await you on the Hyde School campuses, in the mountains and wilderness, on the coast or at sea.  For more information about both campuses and programs, visit Hyde Schools Summer Sessions 2011.

 

With programs such as Character in Action, 

Art, Ceramics and Media, 

Astronomy, 

Community Service, 

Creative Writing, 

Performing Arts, 

Equestrian, 

Lacrosse, and Women in Leadership, the Hyde Schools Summer Sessions are unique and challenging youth and parenting programs that will become a Top-5 lifetime experience.

 

 

For more information about the Bath, ME Summer Sessions, contact Ross Sanner via e-mail or by calling 207-443-7155.


Those interested in the Woodstock, CT Summer Sessions should be in touch with Jason Warnick at 860-963-4760 or by e-mail.


You'll make memories for a lifetime! You'll go home from Summer Session with newly developed leadership skills and the confidence you need to succeed. 

 

 

Rise Above

 

Rise Above Foundation is a non-profit dedicated to providing Massachusetts children in foster care with enriching activities, opportunities and experiences.  Providing opportunities to the over 10,000 youth in Massachusetts foster care, Rise Above gives youth a sense of normalcy, providing comfort, and building self-esteem.  For more information about Rise Above Foundation and their work, please visit their website today.

 

 

Understanding the Impact of Adoption on Your Clinical Practice

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

8:00 am - 12:00 pm

 

Jewish Family & Children's Service (JF&CS) Adoption Resources presents

this interesting half-day workshop exploring current topics in adoption by leading experts in the field.

 

The Family of Adoption Across Generations with 

Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao

 

Rejecting Colorblindness and Embracing Color Consciousness in Transracial and International Adoption with Amanda Baden, PhD

 

Introduction by Adam Pertman, Executive Director of The Evan B. Donaldson Institute

 

Registration is required.  Please visit the registration website to attend.

 

For questions, please contact Deb Shrier, Director of Post-Adoption Services, via e-mail or by calling 781-647-5327, ext. 1386.

 

 

Adoption Tuition Waiver

The adoption tuition waiver provides free tuition (not fees, books, etc.) for undergraduate studies at MA public colleges and universities to people under 25 who were adopted through the public child welfare system here in MA.  A full description of the requirement can be found here:


MA Adoption Tuition Waiver

Jonathan Edwards:  One Day Closer

Jonathan Edwards: One Day Closer
Jonathan Edwards: One Day Closer


View our videos on YouTube

 

Click on the YouTube icon above 
to see Jonathan's performance in a different window

 

The word "legend" is often used to describe veteran folk/rocker Jonathan Edwards, whose 1971 million-selling song "Sunshine" ("go away today...") brought him instant fame. Since that time, Jonathan has been going strong. He has recorded 15 albums, collaborated with artists like Emmylou Harris and Jimmy Buffett, performed in theater, commercials, movie soundtracks, and a TV series, and produced records. In this program, Jonathan visits MiND studios to discuss and perform his song about being reunited with his daughter, "One Day Closer". Check out Jonathan's other MiND studio performances of "Shanty" and his classic "Sunshine". 

 

I'm Legit Video

I'm Legit
I'm Legit

View our videos on YouTube

 

Click on the YouTube icon above 
to see the I'm Legit video in a different window

 

Zara H. Phillips featuring DMC. 

Act Zero Films: Directed by Justin Lundstrom 

Photographed by Greta Zozula

Edited by Scott Hancock

 

IM LEGIT MUSIC AND LYRICS WRITTEN 

BY ZARA PHILLIPS, 

RAP WRITTEN BY DARRYL MCDANIELS (2009)

 

Recorded and mixed at Chung King Studios, NY,NY.

Produced by Zara Phillips, Darryl McDaniels, Ari Raskin.

Assistants Zach Tenety, Phill Lazar, Mike Makowski

Additional programs and DJ scratch Joe Mosse Demby.

Vocals : Zara Phillips, Darryl McDaniels

Guitar; Martin Moretto

Bass; T-bone Wolk

Drums; Steve Holley

Strings; Sweet Plaintain

String Arrangement; Eddie Venegas

 

Calling All Birthparents  

THE ADOPTEE ACCESS MOVEMENT 

NEEDS YOU!  

Add Your Name to the Cause by clicking here

 

350 Cambridge Street

Cambridge, MA 02141

617-547-0909

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