The Holiday Season can be a trigger for a child who has suffered past traumas prior to adoption or current placement.
How to Assist Your Child in a Crisis
Introduction
Children and teens often struggle with difficult challenges growing up in the 21st century. Sometimes, these challenges appear too great, and a child or teen may struggle with wishes to hurt oneself or others. For children who had early loss and trauma, there is more likelihood of having periodic crises. When these occur, it is important that the child or teen's parents are able to assist the child to cope with the crisis. Here's how:
Crisis
In the Chinese language, crisis means opportunity.
Although having a child in crisis, is stressful, it is important for the parent(s) to be as calm as possible in order to be able to attend to the child/teen's needs.
There are some behaviors that clearly indicate a crisis:
q Thoughts of hurting self or others
q A plan to hurt self or others
q Attempt to hurt self or others
q Hearing or seeing things that others do not hear or see
q Believing someone is trying to hurt them when this is not presently occurring
What Can I Do?
If your child is attempting to hurt him/herself or someone else, a call to 911 is indicated. The police will ensure that the child is taken to the local emergency room to be screened for psychiatric hospitalization.
If your child is talking about hurting him/herself or others, and can safely be transported by you, he/she can be brought to your local emergency room for an assessment. If you are a current client of CFFC, feel free to contact the CFFC on-call clinician at for any verbal assistance, but a psychiatric assessment is essential at this juncture and a call to us can wait.
What Can I Expect at the Emergency Room?
While waiting with your child for an assessment, be prepared for a long wait. Initially it is important to tell the triage person why the child is there and what your concerns are.
When the hospital clinician interviews you and your child, please again state your concerns and any questions you may have. The most important point to remember is that your child must receive the services that are needed. This means that it is vital to decide in your conversation with the hospital clinician whether you believe your child is safe to return home. After all, if you agree to take your child directly home from the emergency room, you assume the responsibility for your child's safety.
The possible outcomes to a psychiatric emergency room visit are as follows:
· Your child is found to need a psychiatric hospitalization.
If this occurs, it is the hospital's responsibility to keep your child in their hospital until a bed can be found. Finding a bed in a child/adolescent facility is sometimes very difficult. You may hear they have no facilities to house your child until a bed can be found. However, your advocacy in insisting that your child remain in their facility is important to maintain safety. Sometimes hospitals can admit a child awaiting hospitalization to their pediatric unit.
· Your child may be assessed to need an Acute Residential Treatment facility (ART). This means that the hospital clinician believes your child is not safe to return home, but does not meet criteria for hospital level care. Again, there may be a wait for an ART bed. The hospital may ask that you take your child home while waiting for a bed. If you do not feel comfortable with this plan and that your child will be safe, please tell the hospital. If you decide to take your child home while awaiting an ART placement, the hospital may have a crisis stabilization team that can go to your home to assist you there.
· If you and the emergency room clinician believe it is safe for your child to return home, it may be helpful to set up a plan to bring your child to the see or speak with the hospital clinician the next day to "check-in" as to how your child is doing. Some hospitals have Family Stabilization Teams that can be sent to your home to provide additional support. Contact the child's regular therapist and inform him/her and keep them involved as a team member in the care of the child.
Conclusion
Coping with a crisis concerning one's child is never easy.
It is important as a parent that you get the supports you need to aid your child through any crises that may occur. It is also vital to remember that the mental health system is fraught with difficulties such as insurance problems, bed availability, etc. As parent, you are the best advocate for your child. If you do not believe you and your child are getting the services needed, please speak up and ask for a supervisor or manager. You and your child deserve it!
CFFC all rights reserved
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Nicoise comes in to CFFC to see a few clients and to cheer up the staff now and then. Doesn't she make you feel better already?
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DSM IV Reactive Attachment Disorder in Infancy and Early Childhood
"Markedly disturbed and developmentally inappropriate social relatedness in most contexts, beginning before age 5 years, as evidenced either by:
(1)persistent failure to initiate or respond in a developmentally appropriate fashion to most social interactions, as manifest by excessively inhibited, hypervigilant, or highly ambivalent and contradictory responses (eg. the child responds to caregivers with a mixture of approach, avoidance, and resistance to comforting, or may exhibit frozen watchfulness.)
(2)diffuse attachments manifested by indiscriminate sociability with marked inability to exhibit appropriate selective attachments.
It is presumed that his disorder is caused by emotional and/or physical neglect and/or multiple changes of the primary caregiver."
Above is the description in the DSM IV for RAD
It is my belief that this is less a diagnosis, than it is a normal description of a child's lack of trust and belief in safety. The reactions that these children have are normal survival instincts that have set in and need to be altered. The therapy for this alteration is much less about the child, than it is about the caregiver. We see great success with the appropriate help and the ability of the caregiver to provide the attachment style and strategies on his/her side that will allow the child to reframe his/her bad experience into one that will be different.
In our 'home study' of pre-adoptive parents, Child Welfare Agencies might also assess the prospective parents' attachment style and their ability to be consistent and structured in providing a sense of safety and the correct strategies for a child with these issues. Since a very large number of our public adoptions are of children who have had multiple moves and losses and neglect or abuse and since a growing number of our international adoptions have even more probability of the above, it is in our best interest to provide education, training, support, and celebration of these parents who are choosing to take on the challenge of attaching with child who needs a family and a new experience of safety and love.
Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao
All rights reserved
March, 1999
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INTERESTING STUFF Found on the Internet
In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb.
Hence we have 'the rule of thumb'.
Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden'...and thus, the word GOLF entered into the English language.
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S.
Treasury.
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
Coca-Cola was originally green.
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
The state with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:
Alaska
The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
(now get this...)
The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $16,400
The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given
hour: 61,000
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
The first novel ever written on a typewriter - Tom Sawyer.
The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'?
A. One thousand
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers have in common?
A. All were invented by women.
Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey
Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
A. Father's Day
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase...'Goodnight, sleep tight'.
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and, because their calendar was lunar-based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.' It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'.
Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice.
At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!
Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a
taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This
is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
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YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2011 when...
1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.
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Parents' stress filters down to kids, not that Mom and Dad notice
By Mary Forgione, Los Angeles Times
Parents' stress can take a toll on their kids. Ask children, not Mom and Dad, how they are affected by their parents' stress.
In a new survey reported by the American Psychological Assn., children who say their parents are stressed out also say they feel that way. Some said it made them feel sad, worried or frustrated - feelings parents seem to be unaware of, according to the survey.
"Even though children know when their parents are stressed and admit that it directly affects them, parents are grossly underestimating the impact that their stress is having on their children," psychologist Katherine C. Nordal says in the association's report on the survey. Check out the findings at the "Stress in America" survey .
None of this bodes well in terms of the long-term physical and emotional effects of all this family angst.
Obviously, getting a handle on your own stress pays off. If not for you, for your kids. Here are some tips from the Child Development Institute and HelpGuide.org. And even better, here's a collection of activities from Livestrong.com that can help kids handle their stress.
So let's all take a deep breath before the kids come home from school.
Copyright © 2010, Los Angeles Times
