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September, 2010
| Center For Family Connections Newsletter
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 End of Summer.
The end of summer is a hard transition for everyone, and
especially hard for adopted and foster children.
Even adults who are long out of school notice the change in
light, the change in temperature, parents' changes in rules, and changes in bed
times to get back into the school routine. Everyone knows it is the time to
purchase new clothes and school supplies.
Children who have suffered loss and trauma notice these
things, too, and transitions are more difficult for them. It is a great idea to
take your child (no matter how old) on a trip by the school and into the new
classroom. It is good to involve him/her in thinking about what things will
make the shift from summer to school an easier one. It can be very helpful to
use calendars and other concrete methods to tell and re-tell the new schedules
and new plans.
These kinds of tools can help children with internal
preparations for what is about to happen externally.
We have lots of families that come for "50 thousand mile
check-ups" at this time of year--end of summer. They come in to talk about the
summer and the plans for transition into the school year. This year, in response to the special needs of families in
this season, we are running a social skills group for younger children at CFFC.
We have found that more and more children who have been repeatedly moved and
placed, and/or who have come from other countries and customs, need some basic
understanding of how to 'be' in order to fit in.
CFFC is always thinking of the best ways to provide much
needed services to our families and children in complex blended families.
It is a very hard year for us, and we are hoping that you
can help us in any of several ways.
We have lost almost all of our
state funding. In a time when families are in more need than ever, they have
fewer specialized services available to them through our state. Children are
clearly not the focus of many politicians in these days, and definitely not that of the Commonwealth. More than ever, we would
appreciate continued donations, introductions to funding sources, referrals,
and volunteers. You can make a huge difference in our small but mighty center.
Our only fundraiser of the year is coming up on November 10.
We have received a number of great items for the silent and live auctions, but
we still have a need for donations. So far, we have
27 wonderful donations but still need support. It is our 15th
birthday and so we are celebrating with a Quinceanera - join us, and help us to
raise at least $50,000!
Our International Conference on
Post Adoption Services is in February (3-5) this year at the Marlowe Hotel in
Cambridge, MA. We have partners in RFK Childrens' Action Corps and
collaborators in Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, and we are hoping for
more sponsors/partners to join us and invest in education of professionals and
parents about the best practices worldwide for families and children after
adoption. How can you help?
Our monthly trainings are lining
up nicely. This year, we will be offering six monthly FaCT trainings beginning
in September.
This year we are without Kellogg
Funding, and can't offer the scholarships that we did last year, but we can
offer excellent presentations and a chance to learn with like-minded
professionals and adults who care about children and child welfare and about
families and strengthening them.
Thank you, as always, for your support, contributions,
donations, and referrals.
Sincerely,
Joyce
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Remembering Annette Baran;
crusader for
open adoption
(Bob
Chamberlin, Los Angeles Times)
Living with a secret is psychologically destructive - that concept was nearly
an anthem for Annette Baran, a clinical social worker and psychotherapist who
co-wrote "The Adoption Triangle," an influential 1978 book credited
with giving
early shape to the open-adoption movement.
Baran died July 11 at St. John's Medical Center in Santa Monica of
complications
from an infection, said her son Joshua. She was 83 and lived in Santa
Monica.
"If there ever was an activist who changed the world of adoption, it was
Annette,"
said Joyce Maguire Pavao, founder of the Center for Family Connections, an
educational
and counseling center in Cambridge, Mass., that specializes in adoptions.
The clinical social worker and psychotherapist co-wrote an influential book
that helped popularize the argument that an adoptee's knowledge of birth parents
is crucial to his or
her identity.
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 Activism in Adoption
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Inspirational quotes from Rev Run
Good morning. People who say it can't be done, should not interrupt those who are doing it!God is Love, Rev Run
Good morning. The richest man is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least. God is Love, Rev Run
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Irish Adoption News
The Legacy of Church-run Mother and Baby Homes in Ireland |
Can Atheists Be Parents?
Time Magazine, Monday, Dec. 07, 1970
After six years of childless marriage, John and Cynthia Burke of Newark decided to adopt a baby boy through a state agency. Since the Burkes were young, scandal-free and solvent, they had no trouble with the New Jersey Bureau of Children's Services-until investigators came to the line on the application that asked for the couple's religious affiliation.
John Burke, an atheist, and his wife, a pantheist, had left the line blank. As a result, the bureau denied the Burkes' application. After the couple began court action, however, the bureau changed its regulations, and the couple was able to adopt a baby boy from the Children's Aid and Adoption Society in East Orange.
Last year the Burkes presented their adopted son, David, now 3 1/2, with a baby sister, Eleanor Katherine, now 17 months, whom they acquired from the same East Orange agency. Since the agency endorsed the adoption, the required final approval by a judge was expected to be pro forma. Instead, Superior Court Judge William Camarata raised the religious issue.
Inestimable Privilege. In an extraordinary decision, Judge Camarata denied the Burkes' right to the child because of their lack of belief in a Supreme Being. Despite the Burkes' "high moral and ethical standards," he said, the New Jersey state constitution declares that "no person shall be deprived of the inestimable privilege of worshiping Almighty God in a manner agreeable to the dictates of his own conscience." Despite Eleanor Katherine's tender years, he continued, "the child should have the freedom to worship as she sees fit, and not be influenced by prospective parents who do not believe in a Supreme Being."
The Burkes are now living in Carterville, Ill., near Southern Illinois University, where John Burke has worked for the past year as a speech pathologist. Nevertheless, Judge Camarata ordered the parents to send David's sister back to the New Jersey adoption agency. Two weeks ago, aided by the American Civil Liberties Union, the Burkes appealed directly to the New Jersey Supreme Court, which agreed to hear the case. If they fail in their appeal, Eleanor Katherine may have to leave the only family she has ever known and await adoption by another couple whose religious convictions satisfy the State of New Jersey.
Read full article
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 A film that will be shown at ACTION - "For the Life Of Me" by Jean Strauss
by Jeff Hancock
As many of you already know, Jean Stauss is a well known and talented author, filmmaker, and adoptee. Her latest work is a film entitled "For the Life of Me" and documents several adult adoptees in their quest for our identity and original birth certificates. I've had the privilege of meeting Jean, and regard her as a good friend.
I am attaching a recent note from Jean appealing for donations that will enable her latest film to be mabe available to PBS for broadcast. I ask each of you to please read her note and consider Jean's request. Likewsie, if you could please pass her note onto others for consideration I would greatly appreciate it.
Thank you for your thoughtfulness and consideration, Jeff
From Jean: "Some good news - when I returned home from Annette's memorial, there was an email from NETA ( The National Educational Telecommunications Association, which is a professional association that serves public television licensees and educational entities in all 50 states, the U.S. Virgin Islands, and Puerto Rico.) They have selected "For the Life of Me" (which they have re-titled: ADOPTED: For the Life of Me) as a film to promote to PBS stations for November, National Adoption Month. What this means is that they will provide an uplink in late October to all PBS affiliates (there are 200) who can record the uplink and use the film in their programming. A station might choose to screen it in November, or at any time thereafter. What's nice is that they suggested I get a station relations professional to help with the placement - friends say this means they feel the film is important and deserves a boost to get it on the air, and in a decent time slot.
This doesn't mean that the film is going to get the kind of time slot that a POV or Independent Lens selection will get. But it does mean we're going to have the film broadcast on some (not all) national PBS stations, and that we can try to use those broadcasts to raise awareness in those communities. The problem is funding getting it on the air. Fortunately, PBS covers the $4000 for the music licensing, but hiring a station relations professional and a tracking firm (so we know which stations have chosen it in advance), in addition to having the film converted to HD and close captioned, is going to cost me in excess of $5500 (which I don't have). I know I know - I thought getting it onto the air would mean that some of the costs of making the film in the first place would get reimbursed, but I'm at the bottom of the broadcast foodchain, where there is no such funding. All that said, I view this as a significant opportunity - but I sure wish it didn't cost me/us money to get the film on the air... Any thoughts on how I can raise some funds fast? NETA and the station relations folks need me to decide on this by August 16th...
Since putting out the word for the need for funding help to get PR out regarding "Adoption: For the Life of Me," we have four gifts available to donors.
- Those donating $50 or more are entitled to candid portraits (4x6 for $50 donors or 5x7 for $100 or more) of Ken Watson and Annette Baran.
- Donors of $100 or more may receive an autographed copy of "The Stork Market" by Mirah Riben
- The first 10 donors of $100 or more may receive an autographed copy of the revised version of "Adoption Nation" by Adam Pertman upon release in April 2011.
- Donors of $100 or more may receive a copy of the version of the film to be aired on public television in November.
Donors do not have to choose among the perks; you may select one of each as applies to your contribution :-). But it will be helpful to know if you as a donor of $100 or more wish to have all of those gifts or just those you choose. So please note the attachment, fill it in and send to jeanstrauss1955@yahoo.com AND to pamhasegawa@gmail.com. If you pay by check, please send the form either electronically or with your check :-)
The deadline for Jean is coming soon, so if you are able to contribute, please send your check made out to:
Silver Tandem Productions2300 Glenna Goodacre Blvd. #4325Lubbock, TX 79401
Please write: "PR/FTLOM" on the memo line.
or you may contribute online through Jean's web site, www.jeanstrauss.com <http://www.jeanstrauss.com/>
Just click on the PayPal "Donation" button on the opening page.
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Adoption: How I lost my little sister
Adoption is a tricky business, as Michael Bywater knows only too well - and the signing of the papers is no guarantee of a happy ending
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 Teen Teen artists who attend a Boston-area public high school are invited to apply for a job starting in October, 2010. We seek teen visual artists, performers, filmmakers, and graphic designers who want to learn more about planning events, running a gallery, and creating collaborative art and public art.
The Teen Visual Art, Spoken Word, Film, and Graphic Design Curators meet weekly during the school year to develop their own artwork, work with local artists and professional curators, and research innovative approaches to presenting work that expresses an authentic teen perspective. Teen Curators are paid a weekly stipend.
LEARN MORE AND APPLY ONLINE: WWW.URBANOPROJECT.ORG
This is a program for public high school students who...
Consider themselves to be artists or performers
Want to learn how to produce shows for the public
Want to meet other teens from all over the city
Are excited to explore the city of Boston and visit local shows, galleries, and arts colleges
Like working as part of a team
Want to find out how art can make a difference in the community and the world
Questions or want more information? Contact URBANO at 617.983.1007 or
email info@urbanoproject.org. We are happy to visit high schools, libraries, community centers, and other organizations in your community to present Urbano's programming to interested teens. Please contact info@urbanoproject.org
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New Film on PBS
Be sure to catch filmmaker Deann Borshay Liem's new film, In the Matter of Cha Jung Hee, which premieres on PBS on Tuesday, September 14, 2010.
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Yoon's Blur Blog
Lesson #501:
Kindergarten + Playground = Education
Choing-chong-dong-dung! Choing-chong-chung-chong!
My classmates are jumping around in and out of my face, in a dancing, clown-like way. They're all laughing and pulling at the corners of their eyes.
I crinkle my nose and squint my eyes, as I pull my head back, and wonder to myself, What are they doing? They look and sound so silly.
I look behind me. I look around me. I feel confused. Why are they doing that?
I feel something in my chest sink. Something about this hurts, but I'm only five years old, and I can't make sense of it.
So, I just laugh. Not because I think they're funny, but because I guess that maybe I should laugh, too, so that I at least look like I get the joke, even though I have no idea what's going on.
* * *
Once I get home from school, I race to the bathroom, because I've been holding it since afternoon naptime.
I flush the toilet and go to the sink to wash my hands. I step up onto my little stool so I can reach the faucet. I turn the water on, and happen to glance at the mirror.
As I catch a glimpse of my reflection, I am surprised by what I see.
I splash some water on my face. I try to smile. I hurry down off of my step stool and slap the light off.
All of a sudden, what happened at school during recess begins to make sense. And I realize that the other kids on the playground weren't talking to me-they were making fun of me.
* * *
After five short years of living, a kind of harsh light began to crawl out from underneath its rock.
That day on the playground, it flexed its shoulders and pushed up the rock until the rock stood on edge.
The light quivered a bit, and then gave the rock one last heave.
The rock tumbled back and landed with a thud. The light began to pour itself out into the open.
That kind of light does not know how to lie. It is brazenly honest.
When I got home from school that day, the light had followed me home. It hit the mirror, and for the first time in my life I became uncomfortably aware that somehow I was never going to be like all the other kids.
I had begun my education.
That day I learned that grown-ups don't know what they're talking about when it comes to words. That day I learned that words hurt more than sticks or stones ever could.
* * *
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 What is the Moon Festival?
Thanking the Moon is a book that celebrates the Mid-Autumn Moon Festival. While not as well known in the United States as the Lunar New Year (Chinese New Year), the Moon Festival is an very important holiday in many Asian countries. The Moon Festival is rather like an Asian Thanksgiving.
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Center For Family Connections
350 Cambridge Street
Cambridge, MA 02141
Tel.617.547.0909
www.kinnect.org |
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