|
|
Joyce's Jottings
 June brings
to mind Father's Day. Fathers don't get enough attention in the world of adoption and foster care. Children need to have Fathers, Grandfathers, Uncles, Coaches and Father Figures that are good and kind and that teach by example. This is the most important for children who have witnessed or experienced abuse, trauma, hurt by some of the men in their lives. We see so many very caring birthfathers - who maintain their connections to a child that is being raised by a relative or another - foster fathers, adoptive fathers, step fathers.
June is also
the start of summer. It is the
ending of another school year. Transitions and goodbyes are hard for many people, but especially hard
for children who have histories of loss and trauma. The end of school, goodbyes to teachers and some friends and
then starting at a new camp or program...these transitions are very hard.
And although
it seems like some nice down-time would be great for the kids in the summer, to
many children, structure is safety, and relaxation is a time for fear and anxiety
to creep in. A trip away
for the summer may be a vacation to some, but to a child who has moved and
moved, it may feel like another transplanting and may increase anxiety. Always make a
calendar about what you will do when you return from travels so that the
child knows that he/she is not going to be left at the 'new' place.
Summer is
a time for visits in open adoptions and for reunions in closed or semi-open
ones. Since that is
something that we specialize in and do in a very unique model that I created
about twenty-five years ago, we are flooded in the summer with Family
Connections!
So in this
month of June we have three sets of adoptive parents meeting (or re-meeting) the birth mothers of their 18-year-old daughters. This helps to reduce the anxiety surrounding
the meeting that follows, between the 18-year-olds and their birthmothers. We have one twelve-year-old and his
adoptive parents meeting the birthmother and a sibling for the first time.
We have seven families with young
children or young adolescents returning to the country-of-origin of their
child. Some will visit the orphanage and meet the foster parents and some will have
contact with the birth family. They are headed to Columbia, Russia, China, Cambodia and
Korea. Their children will now
have conscious memories of the place that they started from. Up until now some
of them have only had photographs and two or three-year-old precognitive,
preverbal memories.
We have four
children transitioning back to their birth families in DCF, and we are working
with both families (foster & birth and kinship & birth) to put their own
pain and emotions aside to do the best possible job of making this transition
smooth and caring for the children. This month
several children who see their birthparents or siblings a few times a year as
designated by the courts will have Clinically Supervised Visits here at CFFC
and some families who have very open adoptions and meet up with siblings and
birthparents very often, will come
in for Clinically Supervised Visits in order to talk about some hard things or
some past things or some current questions that children have and want a safe
container in which to ask them. CFFC is
the safe container.
June is often
about Family Connections, but we find that every day is at CFFC!!
June is when
our fabulous interns from the last year move on. They have graduated in May and their year here ends June 30th, so they are doing amazing work in planning for good
goodbyes and transfers of their kids and families. If only we
had the funding to keep our interns on as staff each year, but times are
tough. June is the
end of our fiscal year and it is very clear that this was an incredibly
difficult fiscal year with the loss of post adoption services funding by DCF and
increases in needs of families and children.
June is when
we have lots of kid groups...the fabulous Mosaic group met with younger kids,
while their parents had a concurrent group. Additionally, the adult adopted folks are doing a writing
group and I hear it is fabulous! The teens did 'Splice of Life' and watched clips
of movies, discussed them, and then made their own plan for their own 'movies'. (If only we had funding to do the
longer version!).
June is when
CFFC is getting ready to orient our new interns and externs and Fee For Service
staff - we do a very comprehensive orientation and work at getting them
apprised of all the paperwork, the culture of CFFC and then whisk them of to the
25th Annual ARC Summer Intensives on the Cape in Provincetown. It
is a chance for them to learn about adoption and complex families with other
eager professionals and parents in a seaside setting. They will get to know each other in the
houses that we rent as they play fun games, make potluck dinners and walk
on the beach with colleagues who they will see in the office and who they will
work very closely with as they help to strengthen and improve the lives of
families and children.
June. Exhausting and Exhilarating!
And as is
true every month - but especially in the summer - we count on your strong
support. Your help financially,
your donations for our auction, your volunteering and your items from our
wish list are all hugely appreciated. Thank you.
- Joyce
|
 |
25th Annual
ARC Summer Intensives!
There's Still Time to Register at our Discounted "Repeat Attendee" Rate!
| 
For Full Brochure
|
|
FaCT Trainings: 2010/2011
Family
Connections Training (FaCT) Institute for parents & professionals is held
once a month, in Cambridge, MA. The cost is $55/person, with an additional $35
for CEUs. Pre-registration and pre-payment are required for all FaCT Trainings.
Dates and Topics
Wednesday, 9/29/10 (9-12a.m.)
Trauma & Healing
Wednesday, 10/27/10 (9-12a.m.)
Couples-then
applying Complex Blended Families
Wednesday, 11/17/10 (9-12 a.m.)
Attachment & Pre & Post Adoption Issues for Birth &
Adoptive Families
Wednesday 1/2011 (TBD) (9-12a.m)
Child Centered and Sensitive Treatment in Adoption
Wednesday 2/ 2011 (TBD) 9-12 a.m)
Clinical Practice with Diverse Children, Youth and Families
in Adoption
Wednesday 3/2011 (TBD) 9-12a.m.)
Search & Reunion Issues for Adoption Triad Members
For
information or to register, call us at
617-547-0909
or e-mail us at cffc@kinnect.org.
|
|
|
Happy Father's
Day
from Voice for Adoption (VFA)!
|
Today we are thankful for our Dad's.
We appreciate their presence in our lives. As you take time to thank your
Father's this Sunday, let us not forget the children who are waiting for a Dad-and
a family- to celebrate this Father's Day with.
On behalf of children in foster
care, missing the presence of a father, call your Representative TODAY and let
them know that we must not forget about the 123,000
children waiting in foster care to be adopted.
Message:This Sunday millions of children and
families will celebrate Father's day. VFA asks that you consider the children
who are without a family on this day.
- There are 463,000 children in foster care; many of them will
have a difficult time with this holiday, as many of them will be reminded of
the absence of family on this day. Additionally, there are 123,000 children
waiting to be adopted!
- I ask that Rep. ____________ support the Every Child Deserves a Family
Act (H.R. 4806). This legislation would open thousands of new foster and
adoptive homes to children in the foster care system. (Attached is a fact sheet
about H.R. 4806)
- Ask them to support legislation that positively affects
children and families and opens more homes to children in foster care and
endorse legislation that supports adoptive families.
To contact your Representative, call the U.S. Capitol
Switchboard at (202) 224-3121 and ask for your Representative's office. Or you can look
up your Representative online. |
| A Touching Story from a friend of CFFC
| 
Yesterday, Aidan (age 6) asked me who was his real mom. So I asked him, who
does he think is his real mom.
He thought for a bit and said, 'Well, Kim, because I grew in her belly. So,
sorry mom, but she is my real mom.'
That's okay, I told him. She's pretty great, and you did grow in her belly. She
is a great real mom to have.
Then he said, 'But you do more mom things with me. So you are my real mom. I
don't know!'
So I asked him, 'Can you have TWO real moms?'
'Great idea!' he said.
And he seemed to be pretty happy and comfortable with that.
So thank you for helping us to have that conversation! Your good works ripple
through....
|
Dual Citizenship for Korean Adoptees:
A Message from Global Overseas Adoptees' Link (G.O.A.L.)
The Nationality Law Revision was passed on 4/21/10 by the Korean National Assembly. It will give Korean adoptees the
right to re-gain their Korean nationality in addition to their adoptive nationality. The revised law
will go into effect January 1st, 2011.
Now that the campaign was successfully ended, much work remains to be done. We still need to negotiate with the government the problem with Military Service that may affect around 20% of the Korean adoptee community. We will also discuss all regulations and procedures with the Ministry of Justice in order to get all the answers before the law goes into effect. We are certain many among you will have questions. Information will be posted on our G.O.A.'L Facebook group or also on our Homepage
Giving Korean adoptees dual citizenship is a fundamental step in the improvement of adoptee rights. This step will certainly have an global impact on international adoptees from other countries.
What started as just a dream has finally materialized!
|
Transracial Adoptee Book
My name is Rosa Staelin
and I am an African American transracial adoptee. My mother and I after many
years of contemplation have decided to write a book. The book will explore the experiences of African American
children, now adults, adopted by Caucasians in the late 1960's through the
early 1970's. In looking at each
life journey we hope to voice the joys and challenges of several adoptees
experiences and possibly impact future transracial adoptions. We would be most grateful to anyone who would like to volunteer
their experience. Your anonymity
will be respected.
Contact: 678-558-5266
or
rosastaelin@yahoo.com
or cdstaelin@aol.com
| |
|
Remembering
former Board Member
Dr. S. Norman Sherry:
Pediatrician,
Child Psychologist and former Center For Family Connections Advisory Board
member, Dr. S. Norman Sherry, passed away in his Cambridge home on April 5th.
He was 83 years old.
Dr.
Sherry was beloved by all who had the pleasure of knowing him. He had a special
way with children and he was on the Adoption Advisory Committee for the Child
Welfare League of America because of his special interest in Adoption. Dr. Sherry was very encouraging of the
pioneering work that Joyce Maguire Pavao was doing in the fields of Adoption
and Child Welfare.
"Dr. Sherry invited me to
present to a National Conference of Pediatricians on my work Normative Crises
in the Development of the Adoptive Family - he was a champion of childrens'
rights and he was also my daughter's pediatrician. He used to write fabulous
prescriptions after visits, for books! I remember Harriet The Spy being
an important prescription one year!" says Dr.
Joyce Maguire Pavao
Dr.
Sherry made a huge impact on the lives of those that he touched and he will be
greatly missed.
|
|
|
Center For Family Connections
350 Cambridge Street
Cambridge, MA 02141
Tel.617.547.0909
www.kinnect.org
|
|
|
