*TRAININGS*
FaCT Training March 26th, 2008
Contact: Opening Closed Adoptions and Making Open Adoption Agreements
23rd Annual ARC Summer Intensives
July 6-9pm, Provincetown Theater and Provincetown, MA
REGISTER NOW!
Call 617.547.0909 OR Fax your registration to 617.497.5952
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4th International Conference on Post Adoption
Services
February 22nd-25th, 2009
Hotel Marlowe
Cambridge, Massachusetts
ACTION February 2009
Click Here
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Dublin and Nicoise's Movie DEBUT!
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"The adopted child is not the client.
The adoptive parent is not the client.
Their relationship is the client."
-Vera Fahlberg, MD
Author, A Child's Journey Through Placement |
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March 2008
The Ides of March, St. Patrick's Day, Evacuation Day
and the Rites of Spring!
What a week!
Spring is finally eeeeking it's way into our cold bones and our gardens.
CFFC has had a great winter. We have wonderful people who have sent in donations to keep some of the pro bono work moving along. We are in the process of working with a VCO (Volunteer Consulting Organization) Team from Harvard Business School (Neeti Shan, Kalpana Beesabathuni, Satya Ragnavan) who have been working with us to access corporate donors. Fingers crossed! (If you have a contact at a local Corporation that would give to us, to support our work and all of our upcoming trainings and events with exchange of their logo and name prominently placed on all of our materials and brochures, let us know!)
Some of the trends that we are seeing in the past few months are interesting. More and more teens, young adults, and even eleven year olds are locating their birth parents or siblings on Myspace and on Facebook. It is not the best situation for some of the younger teens and the preteens as they are keeping secrets from their parents and having correspondence with various people (who may not even be who they say they are). One child has been talking to a birthfather who was not a safe person for the children in his family to be with and which led to their removal. One child found two siblings she had been separated from at age five and she is ecstatic. In both cases, it was a school guidance counselor who finally contacted the parents and told of these communications.
The families were not clients of CFFC, but have contacted us for consultation after the fact. I am working on an article about this and some guidance for parents and for kids.
Another trend is with parents who had a semi open adoption and who met the birthmother or birthparents at the time of the birth, but have never seen them since. Their now preteen and teen children are asking and the parents are coming in to see us about re-establishing relationships with the birthparents in order to help their child(ren) with question marks.
We've had amazing volunteers this winter. We have Krista Wepsic volunteering with us for the events and helping us out evenings with special projects. Krista is now moving into the grant writing segment of our development work. Carolyn Meenan jumped in and is working hard on our November Auction (save the date! Nov. 13) We are looking for auction items, so please help us to get some great ones for this year. Carolyn has also accessed some artists from RISD to do our invitation and to work on something special and creative for our website. Spring cleaning of website and offices is about to begin.
Our staff has been working very hard and they have all done amazing work in the past few months! What a team! We have the highest productivity in a long time, and we have the most dedicated and passionate staff, both clinical and operations.
CFFC is small but mighty! We have just a few people on board, but they make a huge difference and they care deeply about the work and about CFFC.
We just interviewed new interns for next year and we had a very hard time! There were amazing people and we could only take three. Two former interns/externs are back working here Fee For Service and we are thrilled to have their energy and expertise.
Join us on April 14 at the Marlowe for havin' a laugh with Alison Larkin who is amazing. All adopted people will be performing! Alison to do her reading, Penny Callan Partridge doing a short performance, Bob Childs playing with some of his Childsplay band on violins that he made and myself working with Alison in the Q and A. Harvard Bookstore owner, Frank Kramer (an adoptive parent) will be selling the books. We are doing this event in collaboration with AFC Mentoring and we are all trying to improve the lives of kids who live in foster care and adoption.
Save some dates
- Save June 5 for our Celebration of Volunteers Cruise
- Save July 6 to 9 for our 23rd Annual ARC Intensives in Provincetown
- Save November 13 for our 7th annual Courage and Curiosity Auction and Awards Ceremony at the Marlowe
- Save the dates February 22-25th 2009 for the Fourth Annual International Conference on Post Adoption Services or ACTION, again at the Marlowe Hotel - our OFFICIAL Hotel for CFFC.
I am off to Ireland in April to help to build an alliance with a University and Clinic there. I also hope to get my citizenship straightened out while there, although I learned at the Consulate in Boston that the process is different for those of us who are adopted!! I will be keynoting in Chicago for KAAN (www.kaan.org), and hopefully, returning to Australia and New Zealand in September.
CFFC, as I said earlier, is small but mighty. We love to create models for treatment and models for training and to take them out into the world so that we can touch as many people as possible. Your support and donations help to support us and to deliver our findings near and far. We always thank you.
Sincerely,
Joyce
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How to Assist Your Child in a Crisis
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Introduction
Children and teens often struggle with difficult challenges growing up in the 21st century. Sometimes, the challenges appear too great, and a child or teen may struggle with wishes to hurt oneself or others. When this occurs, it is important that the child or teen's parents be able to assist the child to cope with the crisis. Here's how.
Crisis
In the Chinese language, crisis means opportunity. Although having a child in crisis, is stressful, it is important for the parent(s) to be as calm as possible to be able to attend to the child/teen's needs. There are some behaviors that clearly indicate a crisis:
- Thoughts to hurt self or others
- A plan to hurt self or others
- Attempt to hurt self or others
- Hearing or seeing things that others do not
- Believing someone is trying to hurt them when this is not presently occurring
What Can I Do?
- If your child is attempting to hurt him/herself or someone else, a call to 911 is indicated. The police will ensure that child is taken to the local emergency room to be screened for psychiatric hospitalization.
- If your child is talking about hurting him/herself or others, and can safely be transported by you, he/she can be brought to your local emergency room for an assessment.
- Feel free to contact the CFFC on-call clinician at 617-547-0909 (during business hours) or 617-515-5789 (after business hours) for any assistance.
What Can I Expect at the Emergency Room?
While waiting with your child for an assessment, be prepared for a long wait. Initially it is important to tell the triage person why the child is there and what your concerns are.
When the hospital clinician interviews you and your child, please again state your concerns and questions you may have. The most important point to remember is that your child receives the services that are needed. This means that it is vital to decide in your conversation with the hospital clinician whether you believe your child is safe to return home. After all, if you agree to take your child directly home from the emergency room, you assume the responsibility for your child's safety.
The possible outcomes to a psychiatric emergency room visit are as follows:
- Your child is found to need a psychiatric hospitalization. If this occurs, it is hospital's responsibility to keep your child in their hospital until a bed can be found. Finding a bed in a child/adolescent facility is sometimes very difficult. You may hear they have no facilities to house your child until a bed can be found. However, your advocacy in insisting that your child remain in their facility is important to maintain safety. Sometimes hospitals can admit a child awaiting hospitalization to their pediatric unit.
- Your child may be assessed to need an Acute Residential Treatment facility (ART). This means that the hospital clinician believes your child is not safe to return home, but does not meet criteria for hospital level care. Again, there may be a wait for an ART bed. The hospital may ask that you take your child home while waiting for a bed. If you do not feel comfortable with you, please tell the hospital. If you decide to take your child home while awaiting an ART placement, the hospital may have a crisis stabilization team that can go to your home to assist you.
- If you and the emergency room clinician believe it is safe for your child to return home, it may be helpful to set up a plan to bring your child to the see or speak with the hospital clinician the next day to "check-in" as to how your child is doing. Some hospitals have Family Stabilization Teams that can be sent to your home to provide additional support.
Conclusion
Coping with a crisis concerning one's child is never easy. It is important as a parent that you get the supports you need to aid your child through any crises that may occur. It is also vital to remember that the mental health system is fraught with difficulties such as insurance problems, bed availability, etc. As parent, you are the best advocate for your child. If you do not believe you and your child are getting the services needed, please speak up and ask for a supervisor or manager. You and your child deserve it.
Compilation of training by Center For Family Connections
in collaboration with Dr. Xenia Johnson, Cambridge Health Alliance |
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ADHD: BETTER UNDERSTANDING
FOR PARENTS AND TEACHERS
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What is ADHD like? Is it really ADHD?
Kids with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) may have any or all of the following difficulties:
Trouble focusing on just one thing
o Trouble paying attention
o Trouble thinking before acting
o Trouble keeping still
o Trouble keeping track of things
o Trouble learning in school
EVERYONE has some of these problems some of the time.
So it is hard to tell if you have ADHD just because you have these problems. Sometimes you can have something serious happening, like someone you love dies, or your parents are getting a divorce and you can have these problems but they might be just related to feeling sad and irritable and they may not be because you have ADHD. ADHD stays for a long, long time and is not related to a stressful situation.
Kids with ADHD have lots of different thoughts and feelings.
Sometimes they feel:
o Confused
o Overloaded
o Angry
o Frustrated
o Misunderstood
o Picked on
o Forgetful
o Unpopular
o Impatient
o Scared
o Dumb
o Teased
o Anxious
o Lost
o Tense
o Hyper
Kids with ADHD also feel:
o Energetic
o Athletic
o Creative
o Sensitive
o Attractive
o Smart
o Friendly
o Caring
o Curious
o Artistic
o Humorous
o Imaginative
o Enthusiastic
o Adaptable
o Happy
Medication for ADHD:
Sometimes people take medicine that a doctor prescribes to help. It is like wearing glasses if your eyesight isn't quite good.
Kids say that the medicine of ADHD:
"the medicine helps me think one thought at a time"
"it's like glue--before my thoughts were in pieces and the medicine stuck them all together"
Another thing that helps with ADHD, sometimes INSTEAD OF medicine and sometimes WITH medicine is being organized.
Kids often have the following concerns:
o How can I be better at following directions?
o How can I be a better listener
o How can I become better organized and not lose things?
o How can I keep track of all the things I need to do?
o How can I manage my time?
o How can I stop being so messy?
o How should I study for tests?
o How can I make my work look better and neater?
Things that help:
Write a few key words down while teacher is speaking and keep a log.
FOR EXAMPLE:
1. Cursive
2. Two paragraphs
3. Use quotes
or
Math Homework:
1. page 39
2. section C
3. pencil
4. graph paper
o If it is hard to write words, doodle pictures that will help you
o Remind adults to make notes for you
o Time yourself. Use a timer! Fun and useful to keep you on task
o Make a list
o Keep lists, and keep a book of lists that you carry to help yourself
o Use a calendar, blackboard, bulletin board or poster
o Break down to smaller parts of things due
o Spread things out so you don't feel overwhelmed.
Organize your things:
o Get shelves and drawers and label them
o Colors can help you or symbols on stickers
o Pick a specific day and time each week to clean your backpack or desk
o Keep a box near the door to put your books in when you come home, put anything for school the next day in there, gym clothes, permission slips for trips etc.
o Everything will be in one place for the morning!
Improving study habits:
- Review and discuss material with a friend, parent, or tutor, when it is IN your mind, it will be more available.
- Underline and outline
- Some kids use a tape recorder and read most important things into it and then listen
- Some kids like to move while they read, on exercise bike or walking around and this is good for listening to taped stuff.
- Some kids need quiet
- Some kids need breaks for snacks
- Some kids like to study in different positions using different techniques
- Some kids need to be at the front of the classroom
- Some teachers may need to know a signal to help keep you focused.
- Read all directions at least twice
- Check over your work
- Look for mistakes *(proofread)
- Reading from bottom up may help to spot errors.
- Make a game of it.
- Ask someone else to read your work out loud to help you
- Use spell check
- Study for each test over many days
- Take deeeeep breaths
- Read all directions two times
- Keep clean paper on your desk to jot things on.
- Check over your test paper before you hand it in, wait a few minutes and check again.
It isn't so bad to have ADHD, you just have to understand it and learn the skills that help you! |
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WIN/WIN for all of us!!
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If you, a friend, acquaintance or family member is thinking of buying a first home, moving up, investing in real estate, or buying a vacation home anywhere in the US, please contact CFFC. One of our advocates will be able to provide your referral client with world class real estate service and help sponsor CFFC. It is a WIN/WIN situation for all!!
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Oh by the way....I'm never too busy for your referrals! TM
"Lucky" Lindy Gelber
201-421-5007
Coldwell Banker, Closter/Alpine
15 Vervalen St.
Closter, NJ 07624 |
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VOTE!
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On ABC World News on February 29th, many of you may have seen the segment about Maine Senator Paula Benoit, who successfully sponsored the bill allowing adopted adults born in Maine to obtain their original birth certificates.
ABC has set up a site for each of us to cast our vote supporting or opposing access.
Please go to: www.abcnews.go.com/WN ... and vote! |
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Fostering and Adopting through Commonwealth of MA
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Maybe you are taking the first step on the road to fostering and/or adopting a child from foster care. The Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange (MARE) is honored to help you in your efforts to learn more about how to create a lifelong family for yourself and a child. We would be happy to provide you with information to help you start your journey into the world of fostering and/or adoption.
MARE was founded in 1957 to find "a place to call home" for children in foster care, including sibling groups. We do this by recruiting, educating, supporting and advocating for families throughout the adoption process.
Most of the children MARE serves are in the custody of the Massachusetts Department of Social Services (DSS). MARE works with DSS and private agencies that contract with DSS to find permanent, loving homes for these children. We provide our services at no cost to families.
Contact Information
Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange (MARE)
Dianne Curtin
(617) 542-3678
[email protected]
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Korean Education & Exposure Program (KEEP)
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Applications are now available for KEEP 200- deadline April 1. Summer internship begins early June and concludes with a 2-week trip to Korea from August 2 throug 17. Average cost of trip is $1500. Limited scholarships available.
For more info- www.keep.org or email [email protected]. OR call- 718-335-0419.
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Donate your old Winter Coats
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If you haven't worn it for a few years, chances are you never will. Try swapping coats with friends and coworkers or donating them to a local charitable organization. What makes this kind act green you ask? We say waste not, want not. Using what we already have for as long as we can reduces the need for new manufacturing processes that can take a toll on our planet (and our wallets!)
***Consider having a mini-coat drive in your building, or just bring your own to one of these local organizations***
Goodwill:
1010 Harrison Ave. Boston, MA 02119
(617) 445-1010 or 1-888-828-GIVE(4483)
Salvation Army:
Rte. 1, 209 Broadway
(781)-231-0803
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Partners In Health
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Check out this website....amazing work being done by Partners In Health and Paul Farmer.
Amazing Work!
Click Here
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Cambridge Friends School:
Executive Function Seminar
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Now open to the public!
Dear Friends,
We are pleased to open this important seminar to the public. Please tell your friends and neighbors to join us on Thursday March 20, in learning about the executive function challenges in school-age children and the skills needed in making decisions and carrying them out.
Sarah Ward, an expert on executive functioning deficits, will present an overview of the topic. Learn how to help your child sustain or flexibly redirect attention, plan tactics for future behavior, initiate and execute these plans, flexibly switch among problem-solving strategies and inhibit inappropriate behavioral or emotional responses. These are skills helpful for all children!
Refeshments 6:30pm -- Program: 7-9pm (CFS Meeting Hall)
Cambridge Friends School, 5 Cadbury Road, Cambridge, MA 02140
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Expanded Access to College For Former Foster Youth
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A new federal law removes a financial discincentive to adopting teen in foster care.
How Will the New Law Help Youth?
The new law will make it possible for teens in foster care to be adopted without losing access to college financial aid. Under this new law, youth who are adopted from foster care at any point after their 13th birthday will not have to include their parents' income in the calculations for determining their need for financial aid.
The Fostering Adoption to Further Student Achievement Act became law as an amendment to the College Cost Reduction and Access Act (Public Law 110-84). This law includes a revised definition of an "independent student." Currently, youth who were still in foster care as of their 18th birthday are considered to be independent students, meaning that they do not need to count parental income for dtermining their eligibility for college finanacial aid. The revised definition of "independent student" will extend to youth who were in foster care on or after their 13th birthday, even if they have subsequently been adopted.
When Will This Change Take Effect?
This expanded definition of "independent student" will go into effect in July 2009, to apply for the 2009-2010 school year. The provision will apply to youth even for adoptions that were finalized before the law was passed in 2007. Youth who meet the new definition will need to indicate their status as an independent student when they fill out the Fee Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) form for college financial aid.
Information from Voice for Adoption. [email protected], 202-210-8118, www.voice-for-adoption.org
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 Please contact us with any questions or comments. Center For Family Connections 350 Cambridge Street Cambridge, MA 02141 p. 617.547.0909 f. 617.497.5952 [email protected]Office Hours: Monday- Thursday: 9am-8pm Friday: 9am-5pm
Sincerely,
The CFFC Team
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