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April 10th, 2009
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Vol 1, Issue 7
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SIT REP
SET News and Updates
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| Greetings!
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WARNING: This newsletter may offend some people. We do not pretend to be 'P.C'. or concerned for your feelings. It is not our intention to offend or hurt anyone, but we really don't care if we do. Thank you for reading another installment of SIT REP! Happy Easter! Let this picture be a lesson to you. If you are weak, pathetic,  slow, and soft sooner or later you'll get your ass kicked. It might not be literally, but it may come from diabetes, heart disease, or any other death sentence that is brought on by being a fat sloth. The dog is a good example of a sleek, powerful machine finely tuned by consistent exercise and controlled diet. Be a dog, not the rabbit. If the Easter Bunny doesn't show up Sunday morning you now know why! Don't get mad, get moving TURD! With Tough Love, Laz and Andy
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| PHOTOS OF THE WEEK
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 THREE SET ELDERS: FATTY, GRAYMAN, AND THE PROFESSOR.  "LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE STORY ABOUT SUFFERING. TRY SCALING 14,000FT MOUNTAINS IN THE HINDU KUSH FOR DAYS WITH 60 LBS OF GEAR AND TEMPERATURES RANGING FROM 30 DEGREES AT NIGHT TO 100 DURING THE DAY. NOW THAT IS SUFFERING. QUIT BEING PUSSIES!" WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SMILING AT MAMASITA?
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| PHOTOS OF THE WEEK
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THREE SET ELDERS: FATTY, GRAYMAN, AND THE PROFESSOR. "LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE STORY ABOUT SUFFERING. WE WERE AT 14,000FT IN THE HINDU KUSH LOW CRAWLING INTO DARKNESS. THE SIDEWAYS SNOW AND BLISTERING WIND WOULD BE ENOUGH TO TURN NORMAL MEN BACK. WE PUSHED ON..." WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SMILING AT MAMASITA?
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| ANNOUNCEMENT! |
FREE BOOT CAMP CLASS!
THIS SATURDAY, APRIL 11TH FROM 9:30-10:30AM AT KENNEDY PARK IN COCONUT GROVE. TURDS OF ALL SHAPES AND SIZES ARE WELCOME.
MORE INFO
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LAZ Unclassified
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"A Game of Hangman with Laz"
"Words of Wisdom"
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Click here and scroll to the bottom to read the rest of Laz's article. |
SET Tool Says...
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"If it was easy everyone would be beautiful."
The All Knowing SET Tool
circa 1995
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ALERT!!!
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The following turds are AWOL. Please REPORT any sightings immediately.
GRAYWOMAN PROM DATE DELICATE FLOWER |
 SET NEWS / ANNOUNCEMENTS
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- This Saturday, April 11th we will be nice for a change and offer a FREE boot camp class at Kennedy Park at 9:30am. This is open to anyone regardless of how weak and pathetic you are. Chances are you won't be the worst turd to show up. Please consider spending your precious Saturday morning with us. Class size is limited so if you have not already confirmed your spot you need to get off your ass and email us.
- Beginning in May we will be offering 3 levels of programming. Level 1 will be a true beginner/turd class. Level 2 will be an intermediate level program. Level 3 will be an advanced class. Recruits will need to pass a series of performance tests and receive instructor endorsement to graduate to a new level.
- Each new level of class will be designated by color.
- Level 1 = green
- Level 2 = blue
- Level 3 = red
- Bad Ass = black
- Level 1 will receive cotton shirts. We don't want to treat turds too well until they prove themselves. Level 2 and 3 will receive dri-fit shirts.
- Beginning in May all programs will be $99/4 week or month course.
- If you have a fat friend or co-worker that needs to get in shape, refer them to SET. You will get 30% OFF your next month's membership!
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Upcoming Events
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REGISTER NOW!
ULTRA FITNESS CHALLENGE!
April-July 2009
Think you can transform your body in 90 days for the chance to win $1000, free personal training, a Sony blu-ray player, bike, and much much more?!!!! Anyone, anywhere can enter the challenge. Participants can begin their transformation anytime between April 15th and May 2nd. You will earn points for everything from working out to improving your level of fitness to referring your friends t o enter the contest. Go tell your friends now or anyone that may need a little extra motivation to change their life! Each contestant will receive a dri-fit challenge shirt and workout/nutrition journal! Each contestant is automatically entered into a drawing to win free personal training throughout the contest! Miami residents will receive free fitness testing. CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO OR TO REGISTER
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Now get off your ass and get to work!
Sincerely,
Laz and Andy
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