Marty L. Cooper, MFT
4831 Geary Blvd. San Francisco, CA 94118
martycooper@mlcooper.com
www.mlcooper.com
|
|
|
|
December 2010 Vol. 3, Issue 2
|
Greetings!
Greetings!
Here is the sixth Q&A, centering on the question (thanks, Steve, for sending this in): "Why is my depression so destructive?" This might be an easy one to misread, so I'll qualify: depression is generally and understandably painful. But my contention here--feel free to give me feedback if you see it otherwise--is that the destructiveness of depression depends on how much we struggle, not on depression as in itself.
As the Buddhists say, may you be at peace, healthy in mind and body, genuinely at ease. And as the Alcoholics Anonymous people say, if not, may you be wise enough to know you're not (and then reach out humbly for support).
Be well, Marty
|
Q: Why is my depression so destructive?
A: This might sound
heretical, but here goes: depression itself is not
destructive. It is our relationship to depression that is
destructive. How we think about depression, how we react to
depression, how skillful or unskillful we are in responding to
depression, those are what determine the destructiveness of
depression. Itself, it is just, as my colleague says, a "lowered
mood state." If we weren't attached to getting an "elevated mood state," we
wouldn't care if our mood took a dip.
This is not, however,
to say that there are not consequences to depression, or that left
untended we simply bob up to the surface of dark waters. Depression
as a state does something. It depletes energy, impacts
relationships, encourages and feeds hopelessness, makes it hard to see the point of
engaging in our lives (in other words, impacts how we see our world and our motivation),
affects eating and sleeping, etc. All of that is true. And
inasmuch as we are attached to our lives being un-depressed, we will
suffer from these effects and react hostilely, as it were.
But what happens when
we move into a mode of acceptance in relation to depression (notice,
parenthetically, what happens in you when I use that word, "acceptance"),
is that the struggle with what's real diminishes ("Oh, is see a lowered mood state has arisen"), and the suffering based in that struggle also
diminishes.
Then what happens? You are able to think clearer,
determine responses which are more skillfully suited to shifting the mood
(alcohol, for instance, is generally a less-than-effective response), and
you are able to unwind the idea that if you don't panic or collapse in
the face of depression, you will (in some form or another) die.
So again, the reason
depression is destructive is not so much the thing itself--mood, by nature, fluctuates--but how
we respond to it.
|
Online Articles Past articles can be found at my articles page by clicking here. |
About Marty
Marty Cooper is a San Francisco psychotherapist who helps individuals struggling with anxiety and depression to not only manage these "wild moods," but eventually learn how to overcome them. His background in both Western approaches to healing, as well as Eastern mindfulness practices (meditation) give a wide range of perspectives and techniques to bring to the work of taming mood.
Marty's passion arises out of his
deep understanding of how painful anxiety and depression can be, and
his wish to help others learn how to avoid overwhelm, as well as to
find meaning in experience that can otherwise at times just seem pointless.
Joy, connection, and a life not ruled by fear are all truly possible.
|
Services
I offer psychotherapy to those who are wanting to learn deeper and more effective management strategies for their anxiety and depression, as well those who wish to find out how to overcome these wild moods. I work comprehensively with mental, emotional, bodily, and spiritual dimensions, all of which are necessary to overcome the chronic quality of anxiety and depression.
If
you are looking to make changes that last, then please call me and set up an initial phone consultation, so we can see if or how I can best be of service.
Marty L. Cooper, MFT 415.835.2162 [email protected]
|
|
|
|