Marty L. Cooper, MFT
4831 Geary Blvd.
San Francisco, CA 94118
martycooper@mlcooper.com
www.mlcooper.com
|
|
|
|
September 2009 Vol. 2, Issue 7
|
Greetings!
Greetings! In this newsletter, I wanted to let you know about two upcoming MBCT events, as well as offer some thoughts on the issue of "surrender." See below for more info.
Be well,
Marty |
|
Surrender happens in Waves
Someone recently asked me what the magic pill of
psychotherapy was, and at first I scratched my head and shrugged, starting
into,"Well, there really isn't..." and then stopped. "You know what, there actually is a magic
pill: surrender." We then went on to talk about that, what that
means, but I realize I left one important thing out:
Surrender
happens in waves.
First, what is surrender?
Go ahead and take a minute, and ask yourself what the connotations of
this word are to you. I'll wait.
Ok, what did you come up with? Did the word have any negative overtones, or
was it something you embraced whole heartedly?
Most people I've known, myself included, have a lot more of the former
than the latter. "Surrender is: weakness, losing, allowing oneself to be
abused, failure." There's a lot of
reasons for why this is, not insignificantly being the win-or-lose attitude of
the American culture. But when
investigated in one's experience, what I've seen as the definition of true
surrender is: relinquishing control.
Most people meet this definition by blanching, but with the
project of overcoming anxiety and depression, what seems to be the inevitable
fact is that excessive attempts to control one's inner states results in suffering. And if this is the case, then surrender, the
relinquishing of control, is the major cure.
BUT! It doesn't
(almost ever) come in one fell swoop.
Surrender is something that comes in waves. You don't surrender (i.e., relinquish control)
once and are done with it. The desire
and reward for a sense of control are deeply conditioned in the human body,
mind and brain, and are not given up easily.
We associate control with survival at a very deep level, so
relinquishing it in substantial ways is often felt as a form of death.
So what seems to happen is that we start coming up against
our own failures to control (what anyone I've ever met with chronic low moods
can speak to) and eventually start seeing that it's the attempt to
control (rather than the failure to control) which is the problem. Then there's generally a surrender (a
relinquishment) which brings a sense of relief:
"It's such a burden to control what can't be controlled!"
Then the part of the mind responsible for enacting control
pops up and says, "Hey! That's
great! How can we control that?" Whence begins the project of attempting to
control the act of surrender. Which is a
contradiction in terms. Which creates a lot
of frustration.
In other words, the Controller in our psyches is not easily
or finally vanquished. It tries to
secure anything deemed desirable and important, like a squirrel gathering nuts
for the winter. And it's tenacious about
doing its job.
So in the path of surrender, of relinquishing control in a
way that actually causes less suffering, one inevitably comes up against the
power of the Controller, which even tries to grab onto its own negation, with
the thought that that's how happiness and/or survival is attained. More than anything the injunction is, "Stay
in control."
But over time, as one sees over and over the failure of
control (or the Controller) to actually deliver up safety and happiness, the taste
for controlling starts being lost. It
becomes less of a struggle simply because its flavor, as it were, becomes more
rancid, and we drop it more quickly until ultimately we stop picking it up at
all.
But in the process, it's important to keep this in mind,
lest we judge ourselves or the process:
Surrender comes in waves. |
|
FREE lecture/workshop: "What is MBCT?"
Monday, 10/19, 7:15-9pm (San Francisco) About: Have
you struggled with depression or anxiety? Have you valiantly tried to
control these moods without much success? Are you hoping to find
something effective?
Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy for Depression is a way of working with anxiety and depression that stresses skillful acceptance
rather than control. It's central insight is that our (understandable)
effort to dominate these wild moods is the major reason that we keep
falling into anxious or depressed states.
This
lecture/workshop is intended to give an overview,
and experiential taste of, MBCT. MBCT will be clearly explained, its
way of working with depression and anxiety and how it is effective, and
we will do some light practice of mindfulness as well as dip into the
"Cognitive Therapy" aspect with a short exercise.
The lecture is appropriate for those who:
Are considering joining a longer course but need information. Have family or friends who might benefit, but want to be more informed. -
Professionals who might be interested in MBCT as an adjunct to their work with clients. -
Are simply interested in what MBCT is all about.
For more information about MBCT, click here.
Everyone is welcome to attend. Please email martycooper@mlcooper.com to RSVP (space is limited).
Fee: Free
Location: Inner Richmond, San Francisco
Date: 10/19/09
Time: 7:15p-9pm |
|
Using Mindfulness with Depression:
A 6 Week Class in MBCT
A 6 week Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy for Depression (for info about MBCT, see here)
class
will begin Sunday, November 1st, and run through December 13th (with a
skipped week on 11/29, due to Thanksgiving). We will meet 9-11:15am on
Sunday mornings, in the Inner Richmond district of San
Francisco.
MBCT is derived from Jon Kabat-Zinn's work with using
mindfulness practice to help those suffering from chronic pain, but was
originated to deal with the chronic quality of depression. MBCT
teaches students skills in mindfulness meditation and "thought
noticing" techniques derived from Cognitive Therapy. Each class will
be a mix of mindfulness practice, review and problems-solving of the
week's work, and support from and for the group in integrating these
skills into daily life.
Research on MBCT has shown that students who complete the 8 week course fall into
another major depression at about 50% less the rate of those who have not gone through the training.
The class is facilitated by Marty Cooper, MFT, a licensed psychotherapist and vipassana practitioner.
Fee for the class is $275 plus $35 materials (book and CD).
Contact Marty Cooper at (415) 835-2162, or martycooper@mlcooper.com for more information or to register.
(Visit www.mbctsf.com for more
information.)
|
|
Online Articles
Past articles can be found at my articles page by clicking here. |
About Marty
Marty Cooper is a San Francisco psychotherapist who helps individuals
struggling with anxiety and depression to not only manage these "wild
moods," but eventually learn how to overcome them. His background in
both Western approaches to healing, as well as Eastern mindfulness
practices (meditation) give a wide range of perspectives and techniques to bring to the work of taming mood.
Marty's passion arises out of his
deep understanding of how painful anxiety and depression can be, and
his wish to help others learn how to avoid overwhelm, as well as to
find meaning in experience that can otherwise at times just seem pointless.
Joy, connection, and a life not ruled by fear are all truly possible.
|
EMDR
So, what is EMDR? EMDR stands for "Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing," and is an extremely effective, evidence-based, way of working with trauma, that can lead to a full recovery from post traumatic symptoms, in some cases within a few sessions. Even very old, entrenched sufferings can be loosened and removed. People really do experience freedom from beliefs and pains that have pained them for decades.
But EMDR is also effective for clearing old memories that are not overt traumas. For instance, issues such as phobias, stuck patterns in relationships, general anxiety and depression, all can be helped with the targeted use of EMDR. Sometimes, because of the more "systemic" quality of these issues, more time and sessions are needed, but the results can still be remarkable and deep.
If you are interested in more information, you can look at the information on my website (click here), or feel free to give me a call.
(For a fuller introduction to EMDR, Transforming Trauma by Laurel Parnell, is a great place to start. Click here.)
|
Services
I offer psychotherapy to those who are wanting to learn deeper and more effective management strategies for their anxiety and depression, as well those who wish to find out how to overcome these wild moods. I work comprehensively with mental, emotional, bodily, and spiritual dimensions, all of which are necessary to overcome the chronic quality of anxiety and depression.
If
you are looking to make changes that last, then please call me and set up an initial phone consultation, so we can see if or how I can best be of service.
Marty L. Cooper, MFT
415.835.2162
martycooper@mlcooper.com
|
|
|
|
|
