[Tame Your Mood Newsletter] Life During Wartime: Thoughts and Tips

In This Issue:

Feature Article: Life During Wartime: 7 Thoughts and Tips

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About Marty

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Marty L. Cooper, MFT

4831 Geary Blvd.
San Francisco, CA 94118

martycooper@mlcooper.com

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April 2009 Vol. 2, Issue 5

Greetings!

So, how's it going in the "new economy"?

Is the term giving you shivers?

While here in San Francisco, spring is setting in full force, with hot days here and there, the national and international forecasts are getting chillier. Though--and this is a point of this month's article--that depends a lot on who you're listening to.

Times like these require a bit of fancy footwork to stay upright, emotionally speaking, as the world seems to be rocking back and forth. If you've got a propensity towards anxiety and depression, the climate of fear can (and I've seen this a lot recently) can stoke these moods.

So the article this month has some thoughts and tips about about keeping one's perspective wide and flexible. And I hope the title doesn't put you off with it's drama: I love the band Talking Heads, and their song that I quote seems to convey my sense of, not how contemporary American life is, but how it's being portrayed.

Best wishes,
Marty

Life During Wartime:
7 Thoughts and Tips

"Burned all my notebooks, what good are
Notebooks? They won't help me survive."
"Life During Wartime"-Talking Heads

I think it would be fair to say that there's a lot of stress in the air (or on our doorsteps) these days, and I don't believe we can understate the often under-, or not-so-underground effect it's having on us. The Talking Heads succinctly put it in their song: not a time to reflect, 'cause you gotta just survive.

This is where fear pushes a human mind, into survival mode, and there are not only a lot of fears going around, but the public voices of politicians and media folk are doing their best to stoke the intensity of fear, more than usual. The underlying message of most of the cable and print stories I'm seeing is something like, "The world is collapsing, and you are in danger, and we're not at all sure what's happening."

Well, that's a good story to fuel some anxiety or depression, no? If you've got any proclivity towards feeling that the world already was dangerous, or that there's nothing you can do, this common narrative today is tailor made to ramp up your fears.

So what to do to protect yourself from the ambient stress? Here's some thoughts and tips.

1) Limit your news intake.

I have a colleague who works in a half-way house whose residents are listening to the news most of the day. When he came off shift recently, he told me he got home and immediately had a melt down. And another colleague who was in the habit of watching the nightly news before bed noticed that, when she cut out the news and read a novel before sleeping, she had sound, not agitated, rest.

The "news" is serious business. Particularly these days, the way in which main stream outlets are reporting on current events doesn't leave a lot of room for hope. So a strong suggestion here is to limit how much news you take in, or switch to a reporting source which is more balanced, rather than just reporting on one metaphorical train wreck after another.

There is a problem with the news shows that is also a problem with anxiety and depression. In both, there is an unstated assumption that more information is going to be, well, helpful, especially, it's going to make you feel safe. So with these moods, it's, "If I only knew how to control these feelings, I'd be alright." With news, it's, "If I only know more about what's going on, I would be able to feel in control (and therefore safe)." Neither works, basically because safety arises not from control (which is always conditional and changing), but from acceptance.

That said, if you're going to do news these days, look for sources which talk about the context of events, rather then just zero in on the event. Car wrecks happen for a reason; the economy tumbles for reasons. Understanding more fully the event-in-context can be reassuring because then, even in disaster, there's an understanding that the world does have an order, that things happen and change for reasons, and that the current situation will also change, as it always has and always will.

2) Remind yourself of what is not falling apart.

I was walking along the street today, having just, against my previous suggestion, listened to the morning news, and felt the weight of the economic situation. But I also noticed how that doom-and-gloom tone and narrative was generalizing such that the buildings, plants, people all seemed shrouded in impending chaos. Hm, I asked myself, is that true? Are these plants going to be destroyed by the troubles in the economy? Moreso, is the principle of growing greenery going to be nixed by the markets? No, I decided, and felt, that's going to sustain.

So this suggestion is not about a Pollyanna defense against fear: putting your fingers in years ears and singing upbeat songs. This is about looking around (writing in those notebooks that are otherwise burned in the fear of survival) and actually questioning the thoughts that everything is falling apart. Some things are and some things are not, an understanding that pulls against the panicked feelings of these times: oh, life in all its aspects will continue despite and with all these difficulties.

3) Exercise!

Keep up or start up an exercise routine. The body has a way of feeling happy, like a dog running after a ball on the beach, despite what the head is upset about. Which itself often reminds the head that, if this contentment can be felt, then perhaps things are not all that bad. The body satisfied can be a source of great solace.

4) Be careful with your diet.

Stress tends to push for immediate "comfort food," as fear and survival anxiety demand immediate solutions. Like doughnuts! But the consequence is that your body gets out of balance, which makes for a sensate experience of instability, which feeds the anxiety ("Even my body feels out of control"), which tends to make you eat more of the same.

5) Seek out positive people.

Sure, there is some comfort to be had in the blues, and in sharing them. If that helps, if that makes you feel some release, or buffers against, ambient stress, then by all means, play on!

But with all the negativity and fear already swirling around, like with the TV pundits and news shows, it pays to be careful who you hang around with. Here, again, I don't mean people who have their eyes shut and fingers in their ears. I just mean people who can see the bigger picture, can affirm what's, even now, still good with life, and choose to see hope and possibility in those blank or foggy places on the map.

6) Practice appreciation and gratitude.

This can be a huge antidote to anxiety and depression, because instead of the sequestering of the heart that is enacted by fear, there is the opening of the heart to what one loves. And the world of the open heart looks much different from the world of the closed, fearful heart. The events or facts of the matter haven't substantially changed, but there is a felt reminder that love is not vanquished by the uncertainties and disruptions of the time: love sustains.

7) Keep a notebook.

Unlike the protagonist in the Talking Heads song, don't burn your notebooks. Instead, whether literally in writing, or some other form of expression (painting, music, dance), putting nebulous fears or anxieties into form, giving them shape and a place to rest--this can go a long way towards counteracting the sense that someone else out there is controlling the narrative of your life.

Language and art are in your hands, and can remind you of a fundamental way that you do still have control: in how you tell your own story, how you phrase your own experience. Use your "notebook" as a place of reflection, a place to get perspective on your worlds (inside and out), and to remind yourself just in that perspective that while the train may be lurching on the tracks, you are not just on the train. You can also be up on the hill, describing what you see, as well as working (if you choose) to right the train.

Final note: From the mindfulness perspective, it is your relationship to events that determines moods and the effects of moods, not the events themselves. So all these tips above are various ways to develop that perspective, that relationship of noticing, which fear otherwise collapses--a perspective that helps remind you at a deeper level that you are basically safe, basically sound, even with these difficult times and challenging events.

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