Transformation Ranch Ministries

T.R.M. News
Issue No.  17
April 2011
C
____________________________
"Coming Next Month"


 

--An article on: "What do I do when they just won't leave?"


 

--An update on the Ranch  and our new name...... 

 


--Information on the lastest 

synthetic drugs.



Transformation Ranch Ministries is a Christian non-profit ministry that is supported directly by the donations of individuals.

We provide the following services to families or individuals in our community with no fees or costs to the families:

--Biblical Counseling for families   or individuals dealing with:       
     1.   Substance Abuse
     2.   After-Care Training
     3.   Interventions
     4.   Marriage
     5.   Life Coaching Issues
     6.   Addiction Sponsorship
     7.   Same Sex Attractions
     8.   Parent "Coaching"
           - Mentoring Dads
           - Single Moms
--Support Groups for parents, spouses or individuals affected by substance abuse.


--Resource assistance for anyone looking for detox, drug rehab or aftercare.

--Transformation and recovery mentoring for men and women looking for help.

--On the horizon: Build a Transformation Ranch with a school for young people (12-18) struggling with chemical dependency, substance abuse and other systemic behaviors. For more information about the ranch and how you can be a part of that, call Rock Hobbs at 205-470-3830.

Please pray for the continued blessings of the Lord on this work for the Kingdom. If you'd like to help, we can take monthly donations via credit cards or mail in support to: TRM, P.O. Box 282, Chelsea, AL. 35043.  
 
Schedule of Meetings

Free At Last - Recovery and Discovery Class Wednesday 5:30pm at Church of the Highlands.

Men's Recovery Breakfast-  A  Christian recovery group that provides small group support and biblical training for men dealing with addictions. Breakfast provided. Open group.
Tuesday  6:45am at the Golden Rule BBQ.

Dodge Ballers - A support group for men in their twenties that have questions about life and why dodging trouble seems to be a way of life. Open group.
Tuesday 5:30-6:30pm.


Drug Proofing Your Kids (DPYK) A  6 week program developed by Focus on the Family to help parents of 8-13 year olds begin to recoginize and prevent substance abuse and experimentation issues at an early age.  We have teams that can present this to groups in any church looking for solid teaching on tough issues.  Call Sandor Cheka at 205-441-3066 for more information on having a team come to your church or school.

 
For more information on each meeting  and it's location, call Rock Hobbs at 470-3830.
Helpful Recovery Links

Parenting Resources

Safe Harbor:  Six Week program for parents dealing with troubled teens. Meets once a week for two hours. Contact Paul Hunter, 205-901-3456 for more information.

Celebrate Recovery Meetings

Bethel Baptist, Moody Friday 5:30 BBQ / 7pm Mtg

Asbury Methodist, off Hwy119
Tuesday 6:30pm

For more information on other meetings or to learn more about Celebrate Recovery call Rock at 205-470-3830.

Biblical Counseling:

Truth in Love Ministries:
Contact Mark Shaw at:
[email protected]

For Discipleship:

Jason Cooke - Call Christ Health Center at: 205-380-9455


If you need
 a comprehensive resource for help with drug or alcohol related issues: 
 
 www.theFreedomSource.com

Adult Christian addiction rehab:
 
 www.thefoundryonline.com

 New Start Ladies Home
Becky Farrell, Director
205-477--0555 
 
God's Unfailing Promises

Job 5:22                 Proverbs 18:10         
Job 11:18,19          Psalm 121: 7,8

Proverbs 3:24        1 Peter 3:13  
Quotes of the Month 

"Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines."

David Letterman


"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."

Will Rogers

"If you want to be a leader with a large following, just obey the speed limit on a winding, two-lane road."

Charles Farr

"I am the Way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

Jesus
John 14:6




TRM Prayer Team
Looking for  Prayer Warriors.

It is our belief that our ministry is on the front line of spiritual warfare and needs to be covered in prayer. Our Board of Trustees as well as the staff are looking for anyone that feels called to commit to praying for Transformation Ranch Ministries and for revival and healing in the young people of our city, state and country.
  If you are interested in being a very important part of the Ranch and the Ranch development with the prayer team, please give Valerie Wheeler a call at 205-229-1580 or Rock Hobbs at 205-470-3830.


"Healing Girls Gone Wild" 

(Article by Tammy Bond MSW, LCSW)  

 

Psalm 144:12    

"...And our daughters will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace."   

 

  As a counselor of young women for more than fifteen years and mother of a daughter, my heart grieves over how today's media negatively influences girls. I see these negative influences best characterized in the reality series "Girls Gone Wild" (GGW).  GGW is 23rd on the list of the USA Today's, "25 Trends That Changed America."  GGW and related media have detrimentally influenced American culture by sexualizing young women and creating an atmosphere in which women are blinded to the destructiveness of their sexual objectification.  The GGW trend encourages sexualized behavior for young women as a form of independence, freedom, choice and fun. However, the result is "prison" for most women who end up trapped in shame, confusion and low self worth.

 

  These women are left with psychological trauma that ranges from anxiety, depression, neurosis and /or addiction and in some cases life long sexually transmitted diseases.  In her book Un Hooked, Laura Session Strepp says young women are engaging in sexual "hook ups" that involve no commitment, no limits, and in doing so are losing at love, self worth, and womanhood.  Strepp follows five college/high school age women for a year and reports women have bought the lie that the lack of commitment is freedom and independence in the face of their busy schedules and pursuits of academic and career success.

 

  Women are competing for male validation against pornographic images and instant gratification. As a result, young women have been willing to engage in sexual acts with men and each other to compete with the increasing use of easily accessible exploitive pornographic images.

 

  We need to raise awareness about the GGW trend and its impact on culture and young people. If we don't, women stand to lose the most as they struggle to have their feminine voice heard and embraced in the church and our global culture. My goal is to bring young women back to their true Christian feminine voice, to establish a sense of self, independent of negative cultural influences. I believe this happens in the context of relationships and time. It takes time in a supportive, validating relationship  for a young woman to see and embrace her "true self". Once a young woman recognizes her "true self" as a daughter of Christ, she can take off the "false self" society has placed on her and experience true freedom. 


      

Tammy Lynn Bond MSW, LCSW, M.Th

Licensed Certified Social Worker

Wellspring Christian Clinic, Inc.

3104 Blue Lake Dr. Suite 100

Birmingham, AL

Bond is also a Founding Board Member of Safe Harbor, a ministry assisting families with adolescent rebellion and addiction issues. She and her husband Todd serve as youth ministers at the The Church of the Reconciler, Fairfield. For more information visit www.WellspringChristian.com or call 205-997-3003.   


 
          
"Fathering the Heart" 

 

1 Samuel 16:7  

"Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."  

 

 

  The way I was brought up, a boy turned into a man when he was able to take care of himself and prove through his performance that he was really a man. "Be all that you can be"; "nothing but excellence"; "God only helps those that help themselves"; Ever hear any of those statements or similar ones?  The Age of Aquarius in the 60's & 70's gave way to the age of performance and achievement in the 80's and 90's. Our society quietly pushes children to achieve at younger ages and parents have begun to evaluate there parental love and skills based on how well "johnny" is performing in school, sports and even in church.

 

  What I have seen over the last 10-15 years in many Christian and even non-Christian families are parents with really big hearts, lots of energy spent on their kids, but no real understanding of what really is important to their child. We as Dads fall into the performance trap.

 

  In Patrick Morley's book, "The Dad in the Mirror", he wrote, "Even when we sincerely believe we are helping our children, we can totally miss the mark. When we father for performance, we think we're administering the right medicine, be we completely  misdiagnose the problem. Why? Because we don't understand their hearts. When we father for performance(behavior) and neglect fathering the heart(belief), It's as though we give Pepto-Bismol for a ruptured appendix.


  He goes on to say, "Fathering the heart means helping your children discover their true heart. Because children instinctively recognize themselves as creatures of dignity, they often behave in ways designed to gain acceptance and feel worthwhile."

Unfortunately, children are created in image of God but in a fallen world.  "The paradox of man is that he is a product of both the Creation and the Fall. The Creation made him like a god, and the Fall made him like a devil.  As dads who father the heart, we must help each of our children accept their dual identity. Once they face their sin, Jesus can re-create the image of God in them through repentance and faith."

 

  Fathering the heart means healing the damaged heart. Your son or daughter may have a broken heart from something totally away from the home or your influence. We don't always know. But it's the damaged heart that you want to identify and try to protect. I took a chart from Morley's book and broke it down into these simple categories. Take a look at is and see if you can as Morley says, "zero in on the state of your children's heart."  Look for the dominant tendency--that's the heart you want to father.


A child's heart may                  What is this heart looking    The Bible
have become a....                    for? What does it love?        answer

Bruised Heart                         Approval,
                                                 Validation                            Heb. 13:5
Seen in:  insecurity, lack          Attention
of initiative, depression             Support

________________________________________

Inflated Heart                          Happiness
                                                       Power                                  Rom.3:21-22
Seen in:  talking too                Admiration
much, insensitivity,                   Possessions
selfishness, demeaning,
arrogance

_____________________________________________________

Hard Heart                              Protection
                                                Truth
Seen In:  distant, loner            Justification                        1 Cor. 1:8-9
self-protecting, cold                  Approval
mean 

________________________________________

Addicted Heart                       Pleasure
                                                 Escape
Seen In: 
Hunger, fixation        Coping                               Rom. 15:13
desperation,                             Possessions                       1 Peter 1:8
drivenness                                  


After reviewing the chart and praying about your child's heart we can see why fathering for performance causes so much damage;  it feeds our children's belief that it is up to them to satisfy us and ultimately God. Sin causes our children to feel that they must earn acceptance through good performance. Morley explains it this way: "They know they can't measure up to God's standards (or even to their parents' standards), so they believe they must choose one of two responses:

1. They defend their own goodness. It's too painful to admit that they are unacceptable, so instead they become defensive and shift the blame to others. Sometimes they put on a face of false bravado and pretend they can handle it. They find it hard to "go down."

2. They despair over their own sin. Because they believe their self-worth depends on how well they do, their mistakes and failures send them into a tailspin. They find it hard to "come-up". 


Fathering the heart means heart surgery, not Pepto-Bismol. Most of us, including our children, live our lives based on a poisonous formula:


          Performance
          ___________        =  Acceptance

          Expectations

We believe our acceptance is based on how well we perform, compared to the expectations we set for ourselves.  Theresa always got A's in school, so she felt devastated when her report card showed a B for Spanish (Performance B divided by Expectation A = Feelings of Devastation).  Even if we try to lower our expectations to make ourselves feel okay, at the core of our hearts we know we've failed to live up to God's standards. Bobby didn't intend even to look at his report card--he didn't care what it said anyway. Still, he couldn't help taking a peek when he saw the open envelope on the kitchen table. Cindy ran to her room to avoid another lecture from her father about coming home late. Still, as she cried into her pillow, she wondered why she couldn't get along with her dad.

  For too long we Christian fathers have administered Pepto-Bismol when our kids needed heart surgery. We've tried to get our children to conform their behavior without dealing with the attitudes and beliefs of their hearts. Our fathering style has implicitly and explicitly led them to believe that their performance determines their acceptance.

  Only one thing can break this cycle: helping our children experience God's grace and complete acceptance in Jesus Christ. At the core of their being they need to believe that God loves them, not for what they do or don't do, but because of what Jesus has done. They can freely accept the reality of both their dignity and their sin, because God accepts them in Christ. If our children grasp this, their renewed hearts will enable them to become everything God wants them to be. I encourage you to use this chart and material to help you touch the heart of your children.

  Sometimes we as parents need help dealing with our children's shattered hearts. If you need some help or just want to talk more about fathering(or mothering) a child's heart, please give me a call and I'd be glad to talk with you. Rock Hobbs: 205-470-3830.

 

*A lot of this article is taken from information in the Patrick Morley book, The Dad in the Mirror, I encourage you to get that book and read it.

 

 

 

          


 
"Why Do We Need A Ranch
For At-Risk Teens?"



As we continue to ask you, the Birmingham community and our Alabama state leaders to help us build this ranch for troubled teens, let me share with you a few more statistics and reasons why our parents and communities so desperately need the healing programs that Transformation Ranch will offer.  

1)    A great number of teens across the country are in depression. A study released in 2005 by the National Association of Psychiatry found that the use of drugs, alcohol and promiscuous sex led to teen
depression in up to 12 times greater proportions than for teens that abstained from those activities. Depression is a leading cause of teen suicide.

2)   Teen suicide is the third leading cause of death in people ages 14-24. While no date is available on attempted suicide, there is an estimated 8-25 attempted suicides for each suicide death.

3)   A 2002 report by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism attributed 1,400 deaths, 500,000 injuries and 70,000 sexual assaults a year to on campus alcohol use. Since then those numbers have increased and the age group affected has gotten younger.

4)    Incarcerating our youth for substance abuse and other behavioral issues is not working to rehabilitate our children.  According to Alabama's Department of Youth Services(DYS) in a report released in 2005 and published in the Birmingham News, more than 70% of Alabama children sent to DYS return to the legal system.  
 
5)   "Huffing" or "Dusting" is a form of substance abuse that is on the rise.  The inhaling of aerosolized products can lead to a paralyzing euphoric sensation for several minutes but in affect can freeze the lungs and cause immediate death without normal problematic systems. Keyboard cleaner aerosol cans are a common off the shelf product that teens will huff.

  I leave you with these statistics on our program philosophy and "relapse rates" in the reality of addictions.

Statistic One: 

Our program model from Youth Town in Jackson, Tennessee has a documented 80% success rate in students not returning to the legal system if their program is completed successfully.  Additionally, it has been proven that these evidenced-based programs will save DYS $50-75,000 dollars a year per student if entry into the system is eliminated.

Statistic Two:
 
If you can help an adolescent truly transform their heart by a process of renewing their minds; personally accept the Christian world view for their life; and get freedom from addiction before the age of twenty, there is a 85-90% chance that they will never go back. Over the age of twenty that number drops to 12% and AA claims the number is 3%.  So if you were looking to put your charitable giving into something with a good Rate of Return( ROI), facilities dealing with the adolescents would bring the most "bang for your buck".

Statistic Three:

  "The number of faith-based facilities with long term care, counseling and education for adolescents in Alabama is ZERO."

Statistic Four:

"For anyone out there who doesn't know where you're going, anyone groping in the dark, Here's what: Trust in God.  Lean on your God! But if all you're after is making trouble, playing with fire; Go ahead and see where it gets you. Set your fires, stir people up, blow on the flames (do your own thing), But don't expect me to just stand there and watch. I'll hold your feet to those flames." (NIV says you will lie down in torment)
                                              Isaiah 50: 10,11 (Msg)
The use of drugs and alcohol to fix the pain will work for a short period of time but ultimately leads to depression and ruin; especially in adolescents.

       ----------------------------------------------------------

Help us turn these statistics around in our city and our state. Help us build this ranch. Be proactive....be a part of the solution. Help provide our kids with a wonderful alternative to suicide.

  If you've been affected by a child or grandchild struggling with all the family problems created by drugs and alcohol and want to help us fight this battle, please contact me or Vicki at 205-470-3830.  If you have a church group or community club that would like to hear more of what we are trying to do, I'd love to come share our vision with your group. For more information on the ranch vision check out our website at :

                  www.Transformationranch.com.


      


"Learning to Trust in the Name of the Lord can change your perspective of what you see in a storm."  Rock


 

Contact Us
T.R.M.
P.O. Box 282
Chelsea, AL 35043
.
Cell  -  (205) 470-3830
Office-(205) 701-3800
[email protected]
www.transformationranch.com