| Holiday Mentoring |
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| How to make the most of the Holiday Season
 Talk about your schedule
Many of us have hectic schedules during the holidays, even travel to see family. The best way to work with your mentee during this time is to communicate. Talk to the child about your Holiday plans and when you will be able to see her/him again. Then keep that promise! Send a postcard from where you are traveling to, make a phone call on Christmas Day or New Year's Eve, and/or send an email. They will know that you are thinking about them even when you are busy or out of town.
Remember it is not about gifts
The time you spend with your mentee is what this relationship is about. Don't feel pressure to buy them anything, just spend special time with them. Maybe go to a nice lunch together, make a journal of the time you had together in 2009, or a calendar for 2010 to record your outings. If you do feel like purchasing a gift, then ask the parents about their suggestions and permission before doing so. A recommended price limit is $15.00.
Ask what traditions they have
Your mentee might celebrate a different religious or cultural holiday then you do. Ask about what activities their family do together. Learn from one another or study a new culture this season.
Enjoy this special time with your mentee!
Happy Holidays! |
| Tough Questions - Part 2 |
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 How do I answer a tough question?
Last month we talked about the first steps to listening when a tough question is brought up by your mentee.
Below are some tips for promoting and respecting a mentee's right to self-determination. Self-determination is the right that every human should have to make decisions for his or herself. Of course this concept becomes tricky and confusing when youth are involved since many decisions are made for minors with or without their consent. This is because they are not seen as old enough to be trusted with such decisions. So youth live in a world where it is often difficult for them to feel they have a right to make decisions. A mentor's job is to help his or her mentee develop these skills and learn to make their own choices.
The idea is to process with the youth so that they understand what the implications might be of any particular course of action, and to help them discover what is truly important to them. This process is important to the mentoring relationship as it communicates respect and trust; it is also important to the mentee's development in that it builds healthy decision-making skills. These concerns should take precedence over a focus on changing behavior or influencing the youth's course of action.
· Focus on his/her feelings and needs rather than jumping to problem-solving.
· When issue has been talked about, ask, "What do you think you would like to do about this situation," and "How would you like for me to help?"
· If you are not comfortable with what (s)he wants to do, ask yourself why before you decide whether to say so.
· If what (s)he wants to do is not possible, explain so gently and apologize.
· Ask what alternative solutions would make him/her comfortable.
· Encourage critical thinking through questions and reflections.
· Use the words, "I don't know - what do you think?"
Next Month learn how to look for local resources... Stay tuned...or call Cassie for extra support or advice 385-8126. |
