Offering constructive feedback in order to improve performance is a manager's responsibility but also takes flexible techniques dependent on your employee.  However, I often find managers are not trained on how to give this feedback so that their end result is achieved - the feedback is heard, followed and the performance is improved.

All of us are human and our first thought is "how would I feel if I received negative feed-back?" Managers then resort to techniques that soften the blow by making the common mistake of trying to squeeze a negative performance critique or correction between layers of positive compliments.  So what happens - the important request for change is never heard.  Alternatively, other managers ( I think of "House" on TV) may use blatant candor, mixed with sniping put downs.  How does his staff feel about his leadership? This can be called the Tank style - a manager who just rolls over employees, destroying any morale that might be in his way.

The technique you are referring too is called "The Compliment Sandwich" - a way of trying to criticize somebody without making them feel bad (including you). Basically, you give somebody a compliment, then you criticize them, then close with a compliment.

Let's give some examples.  You are having trouble with Joan, your development employee. There are a lot of things about Joan's performance that are outstanding so you don't want to lose her.  You have decided the best way to soften the criticism is by cushioning it with a few compliments. You decide that you can help Joan by correcting her mistakes while still reinforcing her strengths that are valuable to your non-profit organization.  Sounds like a good plan...

You pull Joan aside and say, "Joan, I want to tell you what a great job you do with our patrons. Last week I overheard you dealing with a difficult patron who decided not to contribute this year, and you indicated that everyone was having a hard time because of the economy. I did notice that you revealed that our contributions were down by 30% because of people who made similar decisions. This wasn't the best approach. But you did a great job at organizing our special event over the week-end."

Joan returned to her cubicle and you were hopeful that your message had been received.  Your goal had been to soften the blow of the criticism with the good feeling that comes with positive reinforcement. You still let Joan know she needed to improve her relations with her patrons, be more assertive and not betray company policies.

What do you think Joan told her department teammates about what happened?  "Oh it was nothing bad.  I guess he was happy with how I handled our difficult patron last week - I helped her not feel bad about pulling out her usual contribution. I don't know.  I'm not really sure what he wanted. He really liked how I handled the special event so I guess he was just telling me I'm doing a great job."

BACKFIRE.  Why did this happen and has it happened to you? Tom struck out on two counts by using a Compliment Sandwich. His positive message was received, but it was clouded by the negative feedback layered in the middle. As for the constructive criticism - it wasn't there.  What did Joan do wrong, why and what was the benefit of doing something differently? If anything, Joan feels more confused by this communication, gets a slight boost that her performance is good but the negative behavior remains untouched.

How about another example?  "Frank, you're a world-class programmer, the absolute best.  You're probably the smartest guy in the department.  You've been pretty nasty during our weekly meetings being a Know it All, interrupting and shutting people down.  But I'm saying all of this because you're just so darn talented I want to see you really flourish."