• Emotionally intelligent leaders have the ability to bring out the best in themselves and in their employees.

• Leaders fail not because they lack the brains, determination, knowledge and technical skills, but because of what is characterized as "people skills.

• Leaders who have a high degree of Emotional Intelligence know themselves very well - we call that self-awareness.

• They recognize the emotional responses inside themselves and they know how to regulate or manage their emotions.  They have mastered the ability to choose behavior in response to emotional stimuli - to act, instead of react.

• Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize your emotions, understand what they're telling you and realize how your emotions affect people around you.

• Often times, people with the highest intelligence (IQ) do not achieve the stellar success that was expected.  By using our EQ (emotional quotient) skills, it allows us to know ourselves better, understand others, make better decisions, seize opportunities, and identify problems before they escalate.  It is something that can be consciously learned, imbibed and improved through self observation, introspection, techniques of feedback such as the 360 degree tool, and experience.

• Do you know people who are masters at managing their emotions?  What do you observe they do?  For one thing, they don't get angry in stressful situations.  They have the ability to look at a problem and calmly find a solution.  Excellent decisions occur because they trust their intuition.  They are willing to look at themselves, take criticism, and use it to improve their leadership.

Now let's combine this strategy with your actual "Know it All" team member. Let's say you decide to hold a training program for your team on Emotional Intelligence. What do you predict will happen? Mr. "Know it All" wants to tell you for hours about the how much he knows about this subject (and any other for that matter). Yes they are very knowledgeable and competent, highly assertive and outspoken.  But you know that this type of person is a trigger for you - your parents would never listen to your ideas so you have very little patience for this type of difficult person.  You also think that your team is watching you to shut this guy up. Seldom in doubt, the "Know it All" has a low tolerance for correction and contradiction. They perceive new ides as threatening to their knowledge and will do anything to avoid humiliation.

But you have a lot of self-awareness. You know you have to resist the temptation of becoming a "Know it All" yourself.  You know their game plan, you self-manage any emotional frustration or resentment you have and don't use direct confrontation. Resentments will only lead to a pointless argument. Don't try to force your ideas on them, train yourself to be flexible, patient and very clever about how you present your ideas.  The goal is to open their mind to new information and ideas. Let them know that you are respectful of their expertise and that you can see how valuable they are going to be in this training. If you become less of a threat, with time, they will be more willing to listen.