As a Spiritual Director and Reiki Practitioner, I am frequently called upon to assist men and women in seeing the truth that stands right before them, while inviting them to be open to healing the blocks that may be preventing them from embracing this truth.  This work frequently amounts to what my friend Sarah refers to as a "Spiritual Ass-kicking."  In the last few weeks, it is I who was in need of this butt-kicking - and boy did I get it!    I now stand in awe-filled wonder at the magnificence of God and the way the Divine works in our lives, in spite of our efforts to resist it.

Without going into the gory details, suffice it to say that for the past 6 weeks or so, I have stood face-to-face with all of my demons.  Standing in this place of despair and fear, I was living in contradiction to every thing I knew to be true and began to seriously doubt that any of the things I thought I knew were even real.  It got so bad that I wrote an "I hate you God" letter and gave HIM a piece of my mind.  I hated the challenges of the human condition, I felt sorry for myself and I wanted to blame the entire world for my "suffering".  Mostly, I saw it as God's fault for leading me astray. 

In the midst of my spiritual temper tantrum, I was hearing the call to explore a new direction of learning for myself.  I had put it out to the universe that I was looking for a teacher.  I researched, made inquiries, prayed, asked for help, only to come up empty.  I was feeling frustrated, exhausted and quite frankly - pissed off!  Where was this teacher I felt God was compelling me to seek out?  I described it to friends as feeling like I was standing on the outside  of a HUGE steel bank vault, what I was searching was within the vault, the door was locked and there was no way I was getting in.  I felt blocked by an enormous obstacle.  The obstacle, it turned out, was me!

Then something miraculous happened. I remembered my writing teacher had a friend who taught the subject I desired to study.  I sent Julie (Tallard Johnson) an email and while awaiting a reply, decided to cruise the internet.  I landed on the website of the woman who I admired most in this field of study.  I had explored her website before and had never come upon any references to her teaching.  I decided, "What the hell, maybe she knows of teachers in this field?"  I sent an inquiry through the "contact us" form on her website, expecting to hear from a secretary or administrative assistant.  Surely, this woman was too important and busy to reply to little old me.  This is where God decided to answer my "I hate you God" letter.

Not five minutes after sending an inquiry, SHE contacted me herself.  She has taken on students in the past and she would be more than happy to help me learn this field of study.  I could not believe it!  I felt like Stevie Nicks (you know, I always wanted to be a rockstar!), had called me and invited me to go on tour with her.  I was speechless with wonder and awe and overwhelmingly humbled that I might get the chance to study under the very woman I admired most in this field.  Then I heard Julie Tallard Johnson's voice echoing in my ear, "Never assume someone is too famous, too busy, too accomplished to help you make it to your goal."  Another way of saying, "Never accept no as an answer!"

After uttering a quick apology for having doubted God, I took a minute to observe the lesson God had in this for me:

1)      Ask for what you want (This was the teacher I had wanted all along but I was afraid to ask!)

2)      Be Specific

3)      Don't make assumptions

4)      Dream Big!

5)      Say yes to your greatest most awesome vision of who you want to be and what you need to get there

6)      If it is in your highest good, it will manifest in a bigger and better way than you could ever have imagined for yourself.

7)      Get OUT OF THE WAY!

As you move through the coming week ask yourself the following questions:  What have you dreamed of?  How have you specifically asked for this?  What assumptions might be blocking your ability to receive this?  Have you dreamed big enough?  Do you have the courage to say yes to this dream?  Can you trust God will help you find what is truly in your highest good?  How do you need to get out of the way? 

And remember, God never gives us a dream without giving us what we need to see it fulfilled!   Get your butt out of the way so God can help you do the work!