-
We're happy
- We're excited
- We're peaceful
- We're nervous
- We're faking it
- We're sinister (remember the villain tying the maiden to the railroad tracks?)
Since 80% of our communication is non-verbal, our smile can become our introduction, our first "words". A broad smile says more than a cursory one and a fake smile can have the opposite effect of what we intend. So what is your smile saying about you - is it the message you would like?
Smiles are usually the result of one or more of the following:
-
Confidence
-
Appreciation
-
Anticipation
To understand what's behind your smile, consider what is arguably the most famous smile in history, the Mona Lisa's. What is behind that smile? For centuries people have been offering their theories: it's something she's looking at, thinking about, etc.
French scientists have just completed an analysis of her smile. Using X-ray fluorescence spectroscopy, a non-invasive testing, they learned what you and I need to know about our smiles. Leonardo da Vinci created this masterpiece using the same process we use can to create our own memorable, genuine smile.
─ First of all, according to the results of the testing, there are as many as
thirty layers of paint on the canvas. A genuine smile requires persistence. If your reason for smiling isn't right, keep on doing what is necessary to make it right. Lack confidence? Learn more. Lack appreciation? Develop a thankful attitude. Not anticipating anything worth smiling about? Set higher goals.
─ The thirty layers of paint are about half as thick as a human hair, 40 micrometers. Your reason for smiling should not be some big win or major triumph. Those are fleeting things. It is more likely to be the result of many smaller victories. Confidence is built on consistent, continuous achievement; appreciate the small wins and anticipate the next ones.
─ The layers are a mixture of paint and glaze. Sometimes we change the tone of our success, other times we polish what we're already doing. Know when to "fine tune the familiar" and when to redefine the process.
─ Da Vinci used different methods and pigments. In one area he would use copper and in another manganese oxide. Confidence inspires us to seek new and better ways of doing things. We learn to appreciate how we can benefit from new opportunities, new experiences, new relationships and new technology. As a result, we anticipate what else might be available.
─ The artist spent four years completing the Mona Lisa. The depth of your smile is directly proportionate to the longevity of the experiences behind it.
We know that the best way to get a smile is to give one. When you are in a crowded place, like an airport, and your eyes meet someone else's, get in the habit of flashing a smile. Regardless of how rotten your day may be going, pop a few smiles out and watch them come back. Before long your confidence, appreciation and/or anticipation will return.
Test Your Smile
Okay, want to test your smile? Here's the fastest and easiest way I know. Go to a public place, find a young child (younger is better) look them in the eyes - that's important - smile and wave. If they don't react, you probably have some work to do. Children are innocent in addition to being confident, appreciative and anticipatory. "You can't fool kids, dogs and customers"; if the smile's not real, they will not respond (kids will usually look down or look at their parent).
My Approach
Everyone we meet is either a customer, a potential customer or they know someone who is. - Chuckism #22
But that's not why I greet people with a smile. After all, it has an agenda behind it and people will sense that.
I have yet to meet the person who could not teach me something - that's why I begin with a smile. I'm anticipating learning something. I probably have something of value to teach them as well and there may be some ways I can help them. So, when I meet my seat mate on a long flight or my rental bus companion for a shorter time or even my elevator buddy for a couple of floors, I flash a smile.
I'm confident that every encounter is one I will appreciate, at least in retrospect, if I anticipate what might come from the encounter.
