I write this first part in the first person, from where I can express a singular point of view. In no way do I intend to take anything away from my 'We' experience with Amayra. For without Amayra, and all that Amayra brings with her, I would not be the person I am today and I would not be here at Angel Valley - So Thank You, Amayra! Nor do I take away from the 'Our' experience with the many other beautiful spirits that have assisted me in the past and those that are now assisting me at Angel Valley - So Thank You to all of You that have visited, worked or stayed at Angel Valley.
I came into this Magical Valley, which is now called Angel Valley, in 2002. Upon entering the land I felt and I heard the Angels and the Sirens playing their music; spinning their charms and luring me to enter into this 'Surreal - Divine Experience'. I have since come to recognize this 'Surreal - Divine Experience' as my Divine Authentic Self wanting to play, to express and to live life as my True Self.
I came with a background in Real Estate, Construction and I was armed with creativity, trust, dreams, good credit, the ability to borrow and the belief that I was to be here. I also had this Belief arise in me that Anything Is Possible! There was no logic to what I did and to the project that I said "YES" to. I said "YES" without being able to fully identify what "YES" really meant. I went by:
'Build it and they will come', and 'If you can dream it, you can do it'
I now understand that for me "YES" meant I would have to become more fully aware of ME and ask myself questions such as: Why am I here on planet Earth now? What does it mean to fully express myself? What does it mean to Follow My Heart and My Excitement? It would also mean I would have to get out of my own way. I would have to let my light shine and be my true self.
It also meant that I would have to open up and be Vulnerable! What a concept! For me this meant that I would have to reach a deeper level of trust within myself. It would mean that I would have to be connected with My Higher Self, My Heart and to function from that space. It also meant that I had to remove attachment from what others Think, Say or Do. This in particular has been one of the most challenging aspects of being at Angel Valley. I had to come to the realization that I would never please everyone and that some of my words and actions would not be understood. At the same time I came to understand that the Angels and the Masters such as Jesus, Buddha and Krishna in their time were not understood by all. Who am I to think that everyone will love and understand me? From that space I move forward and do my best at being my authentic Divine Self and Honor all other opinions as their truth. One of my foundational beliefs is that 'All truths are true to the people who hold them'.
I am now faced with the result of my choices made in the past five years. I knew that a project of this size and magnitude would require a lot of money, for which I had no immediate solution. In my past I would buy land, develop it and then sell it, being left with an amount of money, but with an empty feeling. This was not the purpose for the purchase of this property.
I made a conscious choice that I would not repeat that pattern. Instead of selling certain portions of the land, I chose to borrow the needed money for the operation and development of Angel Valley Ministries, the legal umbrella over Angel Valley Spiritual Retreat Center. I used the land, which at this moment is still legally owned by Amayra and Michael Hamilton as security for the loans. I would build then borrow - borrow then build and on it went. I was more concerned about developing and creating a beautiful Angel Valley, realizing my dream, than I was about the amount of loans I was creating personally for Amayra and myself. I justified the borrowing by saying: 'It is an investment and it will return some day'. Also, I knew that, based on the real estate market, the value and therefore the equity of the property continued to increase with all of our work and investment. Yet, I now find that the burden of the loans is getting too heavy. In that process I asked more of myself and Amayra than I asked of the Ministries. When the Ministries needed more money for payroll and expenses than it had coming in, I would lend the required money. I now see that this action, while understandable and coming from my desire to help the good cause, was not healthy in the long run, neither for Amayra and myself, nor for the Ministries. In the Sunday morning Services I would not even 'Ask for an offering'. I would just assume that those guided to contribute would and if not, so be it. Some did leave an offering and we are eternally grateful. More however did not. It was just easier to put the money that I could find into the Ministries myself than it was to "ASK".
Here we I am five years later and new choices need to be made. Michael Hamilton, Amayra Hamilton and Angel Valley Ministries must create a healthy working relationship. Angel Valley Ministries is off the ground. They have a bright future and are targeted to be self sustaining by the summer of 2008 or definitely during the summer of 2009. However, during the next period many of the high interest rate-short term loans used to develop and build Angel Valley are coming due and need to be paid off or refinanced. In this short term I must find ways to borrow additional money at rates that ideally do not exceed 5%, in order to keep the interest payments manageable. I need to step away from Institutional Lenders in favor of individuals that want to use their money in ways that yield a high rate of return for mankind and do not need the highest monetary return on their investment.
In the past I have always had a difficult time in asking for help. Fears of being rejected, judged and talked about in a negative way were some of my childhood teachings. I also had to deal with that little voice inside of me that says: "Do you really feel worthy?", "Do you really deserve help?", "Is there anyone that believes in Angel Valley as much as you do and are they willing to invest their time and money as you have?", "If that happens will you lose control?", "Do you dare to trust in others? Will they not want something from you that you cannot give?"
For the past 5 years I avoided dealing with these issues with the motto "I can do it myself". I went about doing just that and secured the loans myself. This "I Can Do It Myself", coming from my ego and my physical-personality mind, has created some challenges for me.
NOW is the time for me to deal with all my issues around ego, money, and financing! It is time for what is said in the bible: "Ask and you shall receive, seek and ye shall find". I am asking for 'Help to help myself' and for 'Help to help Angel Valley'.
From this point on I will be writing from an expanded and shared 'We' perspective. I will outline possible solutions for our current situation.
Two years ago we received a message that said "Gather My People Together". We believe the message was and is from Jesus, the Christ inviting us to look at Angel Valley from an expanded point of view. From this expanded perspective we have decided to open up the 18 acres located west of Angel Valley Road and make three parcels of land available for sale. We believe that the sale of this land can be done without adversely impacting the current plans and operation of Angel Valley. This sale will provide the opportunity for Angel Valley to expand its Community Base with other like-minded groups and individuals all working toward 'Creating Heaven on Earth". It will also provide the necessary funds required to create a solid financial base for Angel Valley Ministries. Please email me for details on the Parcels being offered for Sale firstname.lastname@example.org.
If you have felt guided to Angel Valley and you have felt a connection with Angel Valley then it might be the time to step forward and say: '"YES" I am here and I want to help'. Your Guides and Your Angels will help you to understand what "YES" means for you. You will just know that you are being guided and from that space you will be in Alignment with Your Divine Higher Self and will take action from that space.
Help can be offered in many different shapes and forms, which could be in one of the following ways:
A. Tax Deductible Donations - to assist in the day-to-day operations of Angel Valley Ministries.
B. Tax Deductible Donations - to create a fund for Angel Valley Ministries to purchase parcels of land to be exclusively owned by the ministry for the further fulfillment of its mission.
C. Tax Deductible Donations - towards special projects, such as the new Chartres labyrinth, which still needs quite an amount before its completion for equipment rental, material and labor.
D. Cash Contributions - to create the 'Angel Valley Conservation Preserve Fund' that would purchase one or more of the Real Estate Parcels. This would insure that the land is preserved for future generations, without ever being built upon.
E. Short Term Loans - secured by one of the Real Estate Parcels owned by Michael and/or Amayra Hamilton and currently being used by Angel Valley Ministries, to be purchased by the ministry in the future.
F. Purchase - of one of the Angel Valley Real Estate Parcels. This can be done in a partnership with others or entirely by your self for your own use.
G. Ideas - that you might have that we have not yet thought of.