Welcome to 'Connecting is not Enough'

In How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie told us to 'Remember that a person's name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language'. 

People like to be remembered and showing that you are interested in their name is the first indication that you are going to show an interest in that person.When someone introduces themselves to you, listen to what they are saying carefully and make the effort to hear their name when it is spoken. You can then repeat it to make sure that you have heard it correctly, and imprint it on your memory.

"I'm sorry, is that Michael? Hello Michael, it's nice to meet you."

If they have already handed you their business card, look at the name on the card as well as this will reinforce it for you.

Try to use the other person's name in conversation as much as is naturally possible. Not only will appropriate repetition of their name make a positive impression on others, it will help you to remember their name in the future. When the conversation ends, say their name again as you bid each other farewell.

If you can remember people's names the next time you meet them, together with where you met them previously and something about them, they will feel flattered. Subsequently they will be more likely to relax in your company and the relationship will be easier to build. 

Possibly the most difficult skill in networking effectively is the ability to keep in touch with people after the event and build relationships over a period of time. Without ensuring that we do this well, the rest of our time has been wasted. Robert Clay puts it beautifully when he says, "A connection is just like a package you receive. You don't know whether the package contains gold, silver or paper until you take the time to unwrap it and discover what is inside."

The old 9am-5pm work day and five day working week is disappearing as more and more people leave corporate life and work for themselves or in smaller companies. Even in larger companies, employees are putting in extra hours, working from home and operating on flexitime as workforces are downsized and the work mounts. With networking events taking up mornings, lunches and evenings as well, time spent in the office at our desks becomes more and more precious.

However, we can't afford to allow the lack of time available to affect the efforts made to keep in touch with our networking contacts. As Nigel Risner, author of You Had Me at 'Hello' said, "In golf, as in networking, it's the follow-through that counts."

People will judge you as much on the effectiveness of your follow-up as on your skills as a conversationalist. You may get the basics right in the meeting but you can destroy all of your hard work by proving to be unreliable after the event. 

How much time should you spend 'social' networking?

The key to not spending too much time online is having very clear objectives about what you want to achieve from participation in any individual network and then understanding to what you need to commit to achieve those objectives. Many people are put off social networks because of the sheer amount of functionality, opportunity and activity.

Take one key outcome from each membership and focus on how participation will help you achieve that goal. Do you want your membership help you to raise your profile? Are you looking to use the network for more knowledge and market information? Do you need to leverage the connections the network can both offer and help you structure?

Once you know that outcome, focus purely on the relevant use of the network. Membership of LinkedIn, for example, can offer you a whole range of benefits but I teach clients to start out by using it to generate referrals. If you follow my process to use LinkedIn as a referral tool , once you have put in the initial groundwork you could use the site for ten minutes a week and see tangible results.

I use Twitter as a profile building tool, allowing its viral nature and search engine to allow more people to find out about me and the microblogging aspect to educate people in my network so that they understand more about what I do. It is also an excellent tool to help me connect regularly and stay in touch with people I have met recently.

I choose only to be active on a small number of social networks, although I do have a presence on others. I focus my activity on those sites based around the objectives I have set for them, and then carry on happily with my day to day work.

Networking for a graduate job 

Video Tip 

We're at that time of year again, when University finals approach and thoughts turn to getting a job. The Guardian invited me to participate on a panel for a webcast q & a session on the topic of using your network to find a job on Tuesday. 

It also seems like a good time to share a video I recorded for a Government campaign to support students entering the workplace. If you know anyone who is entering the workforce, please feel free to share these resources with them. 

Using your network to get the job you want

No Wa-hay Out

Just for Fun

Leadership and Management Grants - develop the networks within your organisation

Lopata.co.uk

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'...and Death Came Third!' on Amazon.co.uk

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