Welcome to 'Connecting is not Enough'

The key to good conversation is listening effectively and if you are listening effectively, you ask the right questions. That doesn't mean you ask the questions that you've seen listed in a book.

"So, are you married?"

"What colour is your dog?"

"Do your children like sports?"

These make you sound like a person who has read a book with a list of questions to ask at networking events! It doesn't make you sound interesting to the other person or interested in them. People can generally tell when you are genuinely engaged in the conversation, so you need to develop that interest.

Ask questions that show that you are listening, questions based on what the other person has just said and questions that are likely to draw out the conversation. Ask them to tell you more.

Are you a 'Martini Networker'? You know, you can be found at events 'any time, any place, anywhere'.

I'm sorry if that reference ages me! There are many people, however, who get the networking bug and attend every event they can. If you network a lot in your local area, you'll know who I mean.

The problem for Martini Networkers is in establishing deep and meaningful relationships with the people they meet on their travels. Sure, they'll see many people on a regular basis, but the nature of networking events means that the conversations they have with those people will rarely get beyond a superficial level.

Use networking events to meet new people and keep in touch with a wide network but don't lose sight of the importance of spending quality time with a smaller number of people. Networking widely is not going to produce results on its own. Establish deep connections as well. And that may mean saying no to the occasional invitation. 

Which social network should you join? 

The first thing to look at before joining any social network is why you want to be there in the first place. What do you want to achieve and how will that particular network help you meet those objectives? This article might help you understand how to choose the right network for you.

I use different social networks for different reasons. For example, Twitter  is primarily to engage regularly with my network and help people in my wider network understand more about what I do and who I do it for. It also helps people find out more about me before connecting, and see easily what other people say about me.

LinkedIn helps me track the connections in my network and generate referrals. Ecademy Blackstar members offer me support and advice.

Understanding your objectives helps you to cut through the baffling range of functionality on offer and focus on what is important, and relevant, to you. 

Networking as a selling tool

Video Tip 

I was recently interviewed by Swiss entrepreneur Massimiliano Turci for part of his series 'Extraordinary People in Ordinary Clothes'.

The interview is now available in a series of clips on my website and I'll feature some of the clips in this slot in 'Connecting is not Enough'

In this extract I talk about how networking can be effective as a selling tool and how trust is built. 

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