Connecting is not Enough - Networking News from Andy Lopata

Welcome to 'Connecting is not Enough'

Workgroups

Whatever your interest, or lack of it, in sport, if you've been in the UK this week it's unlikely you've missed the controversy about two Sky Sports football presenters and their sexist comments and behaviour caught off camera.

In a discussion on Talksport Radio yesterday afternoon the former England cricketer Darren Gough explained how sportsmen tend to behave in ways that might not be seen as acceptable "in the real world". A lot of the problems, he felt, came because of an inability to change behaviour to more commonly-accepted norms.

While in any society such bonding and group behaviour plays a key role, it is important to adapt to different circumstances and behave accordingly. This is also important when you network.

One of the cardinal rules of networking is to be empathetic to the environment in which you find yourself and the people around you. I have seen networking groups where visitors have felt excluded and uncomfortable because of the strong bonds existing and shared jokes between members. I spoke to one Conference organiser this week who explained how different groups of people automatically broke into cliques whenever they had an event, making it difficult for new relationships to be formed and ideas to be shared.

While maintaining your existing relationships, take care to always be open to and respectful of others. If you always take into account the feelings of everyone around you, you'll stand less chance of being caught in a compromising position.

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Competition corner

This month has seen the release of the second edition of Steven D'Souza's book 'Brilliant Networking', part of the Prentice Hall series of 'Brilliant...' books. A very successful 'how to' book, Brilliant Networking sold 20,000 copies worldwide and was published in five different languages on it's original release. The second edition includes two new chapters.

Steven has kindly offered two signed copies for readers of 'Connecting is not Enough'. For a chance of winning your copy, please email me with your contact details or send a tweet , including #LopataComps in your tweet, by 6pm on Tuesday 1st February.

Congratulations to the winners of the competition in the last newsletter. Maggie Berry, Sally Phillips, David Simpson, Jackie Barrie and Kap Varma all won a copy of Sticky Marketing, signed by the author Grant Leboff.

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If you have any questions you'd like me to address either in this newsletter or on my blog, please either tweet me, post them onto our Facebook or LinkedIn pages or email them to me.

I always try to address as many as possible.

Happy Networking!

Andy

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Life and Soul?

Networking Skill Tip

You're quite shy really. You don't like to be the life and soul of the party and prefer, in fact, to listen and watch rather than drive the conversation. Networking's not really for you, is it?

If you believe that, you'd be wrong. In fact, some of the qualities above make the best networkers. Jay Loftus asked me on Twitter to talk about networking for introverts, as many people are nervous about networking events and don't like to push themselves forward.

The most successful networkers are often not the people who are happy to hold court and be the centre of attention. The most important skills when networking are the ability to listen to others, take yourself out of the equation and understand who should meet whom.

Dale Carnegie said "People are interested in people who are interested in them". Listening to others rather than dominating the conversation will win you respect and will encourage others to want to find out more about you. I firmly believe it is better to tell people about you when they are genuinely interested, rather than as soon as you meet them.

You don't need to be the centre of attention when you network. In fact, a little bit of reserve can go a long way.

The Ten-Year Old Test

Networking Strategy Tip

How well can you communicate your needs to your close network? How many people want to help you but simply don't know how to?

It can be very surprising to find out the number of people who, when asked 'how can I help you?' are simply unable to respond. Those that do often then confuse the person they're speaking to with too much jargon and assumption....assumption the other person knows their business as well as they do.

You need to know the answer to that question. Once you do, it is so important that you can get that message across in a way that anyone else can understand.

Try explaining your needs to a ten year old so that they understand who you want to talk to and why that person would want to talk to you. Ask them to repeat it back to you in their own words.

It will force you to simplify your message and make it easier for other people to comprehend....and act upon.

A Simple Challenge

Online Social Networking Tip

I have a challenge for you this week....take one easy step to making a connection that will make a huge difference to you.

In setting this challenge, I'm assuming that you are a member of LinkedIn (the free membership is fine), have a profile that sells you and your business effectively and have a network of trusted contacts on the site. If you don't have these basics in place, take some time to follow the advice shared in this webinar on how to use LinkedIn as a referral tool.

OK, here's the challenge:

- Write down the name of a company you would like to do business with, work for or would appreciate an introduction for another reason.

- Write down the job title/area of work of the person you'd like to meet.

- Sign into LinkedIn and click on the 'Advanced' link alongside the search field

- Fill in the appropriate fields to search for your ideal connection. Type in the company name, job title, location etc as appropriate.

- Look through the results to find out whether either your ideal connection is there, or someone close to them within the same organisation. LinkedIn will tell you how you are related to them by displaying a '1st', '2nd' or '3rd' alongside their name.

- Hover your mouse over the name of the person you'd like to meet and click on 'Get Introduced'. Ask your best connection to introduce you. If more appropriate, pick up the phone first to ask.

I did this last week for an introduction to a major global company and my connection request was accepted within 24 hours. We're now talking.

If you do only one thing as a result of this newsletter, do this. And please let me know how you get on.

Putting on your own events

Video Tip

I've been asked a couple of times recently, including by Sue Richardson on Twitter this week, to talk about putting on your own events. So, in response, here is a video I recorded for Your Business Channel a couple of years ago about why you might want to consider running your own networking events.