A Note From Carol
Dear Friends,
The dog days of summer - yes, even we in the northland have hot sticky days. Some people enjoy these hot days. I tend to hide out in air conditioning, as I don't do well in heat and strong sun.
I've been that way all of my life, but many people only begin to show ill effects from sun and heat as their body ages and become less efficient at self-regulating temperature. The same holds true for thirst. Elderly people can become easily dehydrated and not have a clue. Their thirst mechanism, along with other senses, can become less acute. Also, they may just not feel up to "the bother" of getting something to drink.
I used to keep my mom well supplied with fresh fruit in the summer, as she wasn't good about drinking fluids in her later years. She was in a nursing home by then, and they were excellent about watching fluid and food intake, but still, some extra coaxing didn't hurt. Mom loved fresh strawberries, but cherries were her favorite. During the short cherry season, I'd bring her cherries nearly every day.
Nearly all of us have read stories where Chicago or New York social workers were searching the poor neighborhoods for elderly people shut up in their baking apartments, unable to afford air conditioning, which can put them at huge risk in heat. Sometimes they are found too late - dead in their chair or bed. Yes, heat can kill - particularly the elderly.
You, my friends, are watching over your elders. Remember to try to keep them comfortable with fans or air conditioning, plus plenty of fluids. But also, try to remember the elders who may live alone. If you can, please check on them or call a neighbor to do so. Your extra thoughtfulness may save a life.
Take care of yourselves. Caregivers deserve some extra TLC, as well.
Carol
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Hello!
Welcome to Minding Our Elders! Our hope is to break
the isolation that caregivers often feel. We'd also like
to share ideas, comfort and information that will help
you along your caregiving journey. Thanks for reading.
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Respite Care Key to Many Caregiver's Mental Health
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Granted, finding respite care isn't always easy, but there are options. If you are fortunate enough to live in a state that is part of the State Respite Coalition, which is under the umbrella of the Chapel Hill Training-Outreach Project, Inc., you are on your way to getting help. Many states are represented on this site, so please check there.
One major place to look is your state Web site. Look under their version of "aging services." From there you will be able to find links to local services, plus you will find your state's version of the National Family Caregiver Support Program.
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Siblings in Denial About Parent's Declining Health and Care Needs
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Nearly all family caregivers who have siblings have experienced some version of sibling denial in regard to their parents.
Whether the denial is the subconscious need to ignore that fact that a parent is declining, or they want to pretend that caring for a declining parent isn't all that big a deal so they don't have to get involved, denial is rampant.
One form of denial takes advantage of distance. There is a caregiver in town and there are siblings at a distance. It's definitely harder for the long-distance caregivers to give hands-on care, but there are things they can do, whether it's bookkeeping for the parents or writing an occasional check to hire respite care so the hands-on caregiver can hire help.
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Swallow Safely: Timely Book for Elders and Caregivers
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Questions from readers often center on the fact that Mom or Dad has stopped eating or has issues with swallowing.
Each case is, of course, individual, so all I can do is suggest that people work more closely with the doctor to find the reason for this disturbing occurrence with their loved one.
Sometimes, people's bodies are shutting down during the death process, therefore that person's body no longer needs food and food will be rejected. Often, however, the problem is about difficulties with swallowing brought on by a specific illness.
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Healthy Forgetting: Everyone's Brain Needs Some Free Space
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If our brains retained every detail of our lives we would all be crazy. Literally crazy. We would have to focus on each step we take, on how we put the tooth paste on the brush, on every key on our chain and how we insert it into a door. We are designed to learn things and then put the learned message into storage where it goes on a kind of auto-pilot.
A similar process occurs when our brains decide what is worth remembering and what is not. How many times have you been introduced to someone, only to forget their name a few minutes later? Is that because you are "losing it?" No. It's because you aren't focusing on the here and now. Experts on memory tell us to use the person's name several times in conversation so we imprint it on our memories. If people make a living giving advice like that, obviously this is a common situation and not a part of aging or a brain malfunction. It's life.
People who have stuffed many decades of living into their brains will often say jokingly, after a memory slip, that their hard drive is full. This analogy is a good one
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Vulnerable Elders: Scams and Fake Friends
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As a newspaper columnist on elder care issues, I get quite a bit of mail and many e-mails asking questions. One that came last week prodded me to bring the problem to this site (names and details changed).
"Dear Carol: My aging grandmother has become hostile and irrational in recent years. Now her housekeeper is taking advantage of her money. Grandma is emotionally attached this woman. The rest of my family has deserted Grandma because she is so difficult, so this makes her even more dependent on her housekeeper's company.
My father tries to handle the situation, but he is too ignorant and afraid to do the right thing. What can I do? Amanda."
My answer to Amanda went something like this:
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About Carol
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Caregiving expert Carol Bradley Bursack, Author,
speaker and columnist, presents a collection of
articles, stories, news and research for you to
browse. Please check the blog and Web site links for
more information and feel free to email Carol at
carol@mindingourelders.com to chat or ask
questions. Minding Our Elders is a registered
trademark.
If your group or organization would like to buy "Minding
Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories"
in bulk, please email carol@mindingourelders.com
for information. Bulk rates are available.
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