A Note From Carol
Dear Friends,
July 4th generally means celebrations. As I contemplated this Independence Day, my mind swung over to my parents. For a number of years, Mom and Dad lived in an apartment that overlooked an area park where an Independence Day celebration was a yearly activity, ending after dark with a fireworks display.
My parents were pleased that they didn't have to go farther than their well-placed balcony to watch the lovely display. I have fond memories of how much they enjoyed the show. Dad, a veteran of World War II, would always put a flag out on the balcony as well, so the atmosphere was festive.
My post brain-surgery dad was far different during the time when the boom of fireworks could be heard from his nursing home window. No matter what I did, from turning his TV channel to a televised celebration to taking him to the window to see the glorious patterns of lights, nothing helped. Dad was terrified. To him, each boom of the display was the sound of war.
I know I'm not the only caregiver who has dealt with this specific issue. Nor will I be the last. The same is true for nearly any caregiving problem. Other caregivers have faced a similar issue previously. We are not alone.
With the advances of the Internet has come a great opportunity for caregivers to help each other in a way that only people who share experiences can. We talk with each other in chat rooms, on forums or by email. And yes, some of us go to live support groups as well. Somehow, while sharing our anguish with one another doesn't take away the problem, it lightens the load. Knowing others understand our problems because they, too, have had to cope with similar situations, takes away a little of the sting.
Keep sharing your grief as well as your joy, my friends. And please keep coming back to read. I hope, in some way, that I can give back a little of what I have received from you.
Take care of yourselves,
Carol
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Hello!
Welcome to Minding Our Elders! Our hope is to break
the isolation that caregivers often feel. We'd also like
to share ideas, comfort and information that will help
you along your caregiving journey. Thanks for reading.
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Lonely Elders at Risk for Health Problems
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Most of us know at least one elder who insists that life is fine though he sits in front of the TV for the greater part of each day and barely eats. Yet this person maintains that going out is too much trouble and having people in just doesn't make sense.
For some, this becomes a real sickness called agoraphobia which is the fear of leaving one's home. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that I am a person who, by nature, needs a great deal of alone time. I am a homebody who reads for relaxation. So, I do feel rather sympathetic toward these folks. However, I also know that I need social contacts and so do these elders.
Many studies have shown that people of all ages need an active social life. If we don't get that, we can become withdrawn and prone to depression. Add to that the fact that older people tend to have more health problems which, in turn, make them prefer staying home, plus transportation problems that make getting around hard, and it's easy to see how elders can become withdrawn. Also, many of these people always went places with a spouse, so it seems unnatural for them to go out alone.
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When Caring for Parents Makes You Want to Run Away
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Most of us live frantic lives. That's the nature of today's world. Add to that the job - for it is a job no matter how lovingly we do it - of caring for one or more elders, and it's no wonder that some of the Agingcare forum readers and contributors say they'd just like to chuck it all and run away.
Many of us fit into the sandwich generation where we are caring for children, as well as one or more elders. For several years running, I totaled seven elders, with five needy elders at once, plus two children in my care.
Talk about a sandwich - mine was a whopper. And yes, there were times when wondered how I could keep it up. There were times when I would have loved to have run away, so I can relate to the people who write and say they are burned out, frustrated and would love to "run away from the whole thing."
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Contradictory Studies: What Do We Believe?
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Here's a mind-bender folks.
I very recently wrote about an article published in Scientific American titled, Alzheimer's Prevention Strategies Remain an Elusive Challenge, which stated, "In late April a panel of experts convened by the National Institutes of Health ...approaches to prevention, ranging from use of prescription drugs, dietary supplements and avoidance of toxins, have 'no evidence considered to be of even moderate scientific quality' to back recommendations that these steps can be used to stop the onset of the disease."
Shortly after that, I ran across an article published on temple.edu titled, "Healthy diet could slow or reverse early effects of Alzheimer's Disease."
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Signing On to Medicare: A First Hand Experience - Part 1
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As with so many things in life, firsthand experience often exceeds "book learning." The most compelling reason for me to work long and hard in the elder care field stemmed from my two decades of eldercare. With a combined total of seven elders to care for, I learned a great deal.
I'll always be grateful to the professionals that helped me along the way, including in-home care staff and a fabulous nursing home. However, I find that as a writer on elder care, most people first want to know my personal experiences as a caregiver, then my experience with professionals.
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What Should We Do if a Person Cannot Hear Well?
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Helping elders who have speech and/or hearing difficulties, plus other communication issues - and their families - is a specialty with my colleague Kathryn Kilpatrick, M.A. CCC/SLP. She wrote this helpful blog post that is just an example of the kind of help she delivers.
What a difference it makes to slow the rate of your speech when talking to someone with a hearing loss. We need, however, to watch for our tendency to start out that way then speed up as the conversation progresses.
Hard of hearing people have shared with me that when that happens, they get tired of reminding the person to slow down and often that is when they just check out of participating in conversations.
When coaching people with hearing impairment, I suggest they share with the speaker how difficult it is to follow a faster rate of speech. Letting them know they are interested in what was being said and sharing what doesn't work can lead to the development of some more effective strategies.
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About Carol
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Caregiving expert Carol Bradley Bursack, Author,
speaker and columnist, presents a collection of
articles, stories, news and research for you to
browse. Please check the blog and Web site links for
more information and feel free to email Carol at
carol@mindingourelders.com to chat or ask
questions. Minding Our Elders is a registered
trademark.
If your group or organization would like to buy "Minding
Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories"
in bulk, please email carol@mindingourelders.com
for information. Bulk rates are available.
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