A Note From Carol
Dear Friends,
April showers? We were flooded up here in the
north - again - and are just recovering, so we're
hoping that April showers hold off awhile. It's
sometimes difficult, as I look at still flooded streets,
bridges underwater and other messy surroundings, to
remember that this too shall pass.
Our chronic spring flooding, which has reached record
levels these past two springs, can get us down and
blur our vision for a time. Yet, when I saw people
pouring into sandbag centers to, once again, fill a
million sandbags to help hold back the Raging Red, I
remembered that these trials do test our mettle, yet
somehow bring us closer together.
I believe that is true of caregiving, as well. When the
stress of daily caregiving pulls us down;
when pain and disability surround us and we see
nothing but dreary
days ahead, it's hard to think this too shall
pass. We see no end to the misery our loved ones
suffer and to our own weariness. Where is the good in
all of this suffering?
What caregivers do is hard. But in the end, when we
look back over what we have done for our loved ones,
few of us would say we wish we hadn't done it. We
may say we would have done some things differently,
but few of us regret ushering our loved ones through
those last, rough years
Whether it is throwing sandbags to protect a
stranger's house or changing a parent's diaper, we
grow stronger knowing we have helped. We become
more human, humble and compassionate. We do, in
the end, know that the rainin our lives will help us
grow and bloom.
Happy spring! Please take care of yourselves,
Carol
Quick Links...
Please visit our sponsor
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Hello!
Welcome to Minding Our Elders! Our hope is to break
the isolation that caregivers often feel. We'd also like
to share ideas, comfort and information that will help
you along your caregiving journey. Thanks for reading.
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Is the nursing home over-medicating your elderly parent?
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In the days before nursing homes were under so
much regulation, many homes used heavy medication
to "manage" residents. Elders who slept most of the
day, as well as all night, didn't require as much staff
time.
Therefore, many homes considered drugging people
efficient and cost containing.
Anti-psychotics were frequently prescribed when
people had dementia. For some, a light dose may
have been just the right thing, but one medication
doesn't suit all elder issues.
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Using Your Senses to Choose a Health Care Facility
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Savvy health care shoppers have resources when
searching for the perfect facility for their loved one:
lists, trick questions to ask, special times to visit, and
reports on how many stars a facility received. Yes,
these resources can help but from all that information
gathering, has the consumer really found what they
need to make an informed decision?
I think not. Is it really important to know that the staffing
pattern on the night shift? Maybe, but if you don't know
what it should be, how valuable is that information?
Will that let you know that your mother will receive
good care? Try an approach that works from your
intuition level where you take in aspects of your tour,
process the info against your five senses and then
come up with your decision.
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Erasing the Stigma of Dementia
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My dad came totally demented out of surgery meant to
correct the effects of a World War II brain injury. The
shock to the family is indescribable. This brilliant,
gentle man suddenly had a voice in his head and was
so paranoid he thought the hospital nurse was trying
to kill him in the shower. Dad lived in his own
dementia hell for a full decade. I learned a lot during
that time, and often write here on ElderCarelink.com
Dad's dementia wasn't the only dementia I coped with.
My uncle developed vascular dementia after a stroke.
My mother-in-law likely had Alzheimer's, though less
was known about the disease at that time, so she
was never diagnosed. My mother had "organic brain
disease" of unknown origin. Not all dementia present
the same symptoms, however many symptoms
overlap and people can have more than one type. A
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Quantity of Life or Quality of Life - Sometimes We Have to Choose
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If someone asked you today, would you prefer a
longer life but endure much pain, or a shorter life with
less pain, would you have a quick answer? I didn't
think so. Few of us do. We want to qualify our
statements.
That is what makes end-of-life decisions so tricky.
Few issues are black and white.What if we needed to
decide with - or for - a loved one whether to, at say age
85, have radical surgery
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Is a Reverse Mortgage a Good Idea for My Parents
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With all of the recent attention given to reverse
mortgages, you may be wondering if it makes sense
for your elderly parents to apply for one of these loans.
Under the right circumstances a reverse mortgage
can be a wonderful financial tool that can provide
another source of income for folks over 62. But there
are pros and cons to taking out a reverse mortgage
that need to be considered very carefully.
First, adult children should always consult with their
parents before making financial decisions for them
unless their parents are physically and/or mentally
unable to be involved. If you are the authorized legal
representative for your aging parents, you can request
a reverse mortgage counseling session.
Counseling allows you to take a look at your parents'
overall finances to decide whether a reverse mortgage
is a smart option.
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About Carol
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Caregiving expert Carol Bradley Bursack, Author,
speaker and columnist, presents a collection of
articles, stories, news and research for you to
browse. Please check the blog and Web site links for
more information and feel free to email Carol at
carol@mindingourelders.com to chat or ask
questions. Minding Our Elders is a registered
trademark.
If your group or organization would like to buy "Minding
Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories"
in bulk, please email carol@mindingourelders.com
for information. Bulk rates are available.
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