A Note From Carol
As March blows in, we in the Red River Valley of the
North are looking at another huge flood issue. It's
unavoidable. All we can hope for is that we don't get a
five-inch rain on top on the snowmelt, as we did
last year.
However, what happens happens. We prepare and do
our best. Many of us pray a lot. We deal with our lot by
helping our neighbors and ourselves. We also try to
live in the moment, which helps keep fear at bay.
With caregiving, it's easy to feel swamped -
swallowed up by all of the demands coming at us. It's
also easy to look into the future, borrowing trouble and
living through it all before we even know how the future
will unfold. I've read where most of us live through
more misery in our heads than we ever truly would
experience if we just lived as life happens.
I'm guilty of that. I remember my dad's first
hospitalization in many years where he had an allergic
reaction to medication. We thought he might die, but
he pulled through. At the time I thought, "How will
I ever bear the death of my dad?"
About five years after that scary event, Dad had
another surgery. This surgery would leave him with
severe dementia. By the time my dad really did die, I
was holding a withered old man who'd spent a
decade in dementia hell. His death was like getting
him back. Yes, I missed him. But he was released
from such misery that I couldn't begrudge his death.
I think of the irony of these issues with Dad at times
when I feel I'm borrowing sorrow. Life hands most of
us plenty of sorrow without our borrowing it from the
future when we don't know what the future holds. One
day at a time I handled Dad's decline and death. Just
so, you will handle the decline and death of your loved
ones. The pain is great for us all. But we know that
death is part of the cycle of life.
Let the future take care of itself, as today is enough to
deal with. With caregiving, as with the rest of our lives -
even record floods - we do what we need to do and
we survive. We grow wiser and we move on.
Hopefully, we can use what we've learned to help
others.
Take care of yourselves,
Carol
Quick Links...
Please visit our sponsor
|
|
Hello!
Welcome to Minding Our Elders! Our hope is to break
the isolation that caregivers often feel. We'd also like
to share ideas, comfort and information that will help
you along your caregiving journey. Thanks for reading.
|
|
The Sandwich Generation: Caring for Multiple Generations
|
|
When I was at my caregiving peak, with multiple
elders who needed me plus two children - one with
chronic health issues - there wasn't a term for people
like me. Or, if there was, I didn't have time to read
about it. Later, I became aware of the then emerging
term "the sandwich generation."
Generally speaking, this now popular and descriptive
term refers to situations like mine, where adult
children who have children of their own are also
caring for their aging parents. I know all too well the
feeling of being torn between the needs of different
generations.
|
|
Sleep Apnea, My Road to Dementia
|
|
Leah, my colleague, has vascular dementia. Here
is a fascinating post she wrote for OurAlzheimers.
"While researching something other than dementia, I
had an "ah-ha" moment; in a flash everything from the
last ten years of my life came together and I realized,
for the first time, what probably has been the root of
my major health problems, especially my dementia-
SLEEP APNEA.
"At least ten years ago, I fell asleep at the wheel of my
car. I was less than two miles from home. At twelve
thirty in the afternoon, I was returning from Vacation
Bible School where I had spent an active morning
teaching. In the back seat, I had precious cargo, my
only grandchild and a young niece.
I can remember singing children's hymns with them
as we made our way home. And then it happened.
Suddenly, an impenetrable sleepiness hit me."
|
|
How to balance an elder's sense of purpose and dignity with their safety
|
|
Joe was in his 80s and lived in his own home. He
was my first care receiver. Joe was totally deaf, so to
communicate with each other, he spoke and I wrote
on a large legal pad. One day, when I hurried into his
house through the back door at my usual visiting time,
I sensed something odd.
Generally, Joe would be sitting at his kitchen table
waiting for me. This time, there was no sign of him.
|
|
Test Your Memory Self Test But Should Be Professionally Evaluated
|
|
For decades, the mini-mental state examination has
been the gold standard of "quick exams" given by
mental health professionls. This test is one that is
generally part of an examination given when
diagnosing dementia.
While the test alone isn't conclusive, it's been
considered a very good tool. Enter a new test
called "Test Your Memory" or TYM Like the mini-
mental, this test evaluates cognitive ability and can be
self-administered. Researchers say it is faster and
more accurate than current methods, but like the mini-
mental, it results should be evaluated by a
professional.
|
|
Dad just give me the keys!
|
|
Alice came in saying shed gotten lost. My mother-in-
law had gone to the grocery store the same one
shed shopped at for thirty years. It was four blocks
away. I was staying with my father-in-law, because he
couldnt be alone. A couple of hours passed and I was
worried. Finally, I heard her footsteps in the hall.
She looked shaken. Confused. I asked if she was
okay, and she said she was, but there was a hitch in
her voice. Then she said she had gotten lost coming
home. That was the last time she drove.
|
|
There's a hole in my soul
|
|
A study from New York University, found that
caregivers are twice as likely as non-caregivers to
report physical and mental health complications. One
in three caregivers uses medication for caregiving-
related health problems and depression among
caregivers is three times greater than for non-
caregivers in their age group.
Another study compared the healing process of
caregivers and non-caregivers. Caregivers and non-
caregivers were given identical wounds. Caregivers
wounds took up to 24% longer to heal than non-
caregivers. Caregivers immune systems were too
stressed to function efficiently.
Some of this stress stems from isolation and
loneliness. Elder caregivers, whether they live in the
same home as the person they care for, or in
separate homes, are often so in-volved with the
elders needs physical, mental and emotional
plus their jobs, house-keeping, marriages and often
growing children, they cannot find the time to take care
of their own needs. Add that to the caregivers drive to
give the elder the best care possible for what looks
like the short time he or she has left and you get
tremendous burnout. And stressed bodies.
|
|
About Carol
|
|
Caregiving expert Carol Bradley Bursack, Author,
speaker and columnist, presents a collection of
articles, stories, news and research for you to
browse. Please check the blog and Web site links for
more information and feel free to email Carol at
carol@mindingourelders.com to chat or ask
questions. Minding Our Elders is a registered
trademark.
If your group or organization would like to buy "Minding
Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories"
in bulk, please email carol@mindingourelders.com
for information. Bulk rates are available.
|
|
|
