A Note From Carol
Dear Friends,
Piles of snow, ten feet high, guard the entrance to my
driveway. We received a huge snowfall over the
Christmas holiday, then temperatures in the minus
twenties froze the piles solid. Backing out of my
driveway is like momentarily driving blind. It also takes
some faith. I check out all angles, then back out,
cautious, but knowing I've done my best to get it right.
What does this have to do with caregiving? Quite a bit,
actually. As caregivers, we do our best with what we've
been given. We often can't see any farther than the
next hour, or even the next minute. What mood will our
loved one, mentally muddled by dementia, be in
today? Will he be fairly cheerful or angry at the world?
Will she be paranoid and frightened or sweet and
silly?
When I would pay my daily visit to my loved ones at
Rosewood, I would go to each room with a bit of
trepidation. My dad was the least predictable. The
surgery that left him in dementia for the last decade of
his life had given us a man who was
chanageable.Yes, he was Dad, but with twists.
I'd glide through the doorway of Dad's room with
about as much knowledge of what I was going to have
to handle as I do now when I gingerly back out of my
driveway. I knew I'd done my homework, so to speak,
but I approached with some caution and a lot of faith
that I could deal with whatever I found.
Sometimes we have to do our very best to prepare for
a situation, then hold our breath and get on with it.
Sometimes we have to just slide on through by sheer
faith, knowing we are doing our best given the
difficulties at hand.
Blessings to all of you cargivers. You may feel like you
are backing out into traffic without knowing what is
coming, but you do it anyway. And generally you do it
well
Happy February. Take care of yourselves,
Carol
Quick Links...
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Hello!
Welcome to Minding Our Elders! Our hope is to break
the isolation that caregivers often feel. We'd also like
to share ideas, comfort and information that will help
you along your caregiving journey. Thanks for reading.
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How Can My Elderly Parent Qualify for Medicaid?
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In order to qualify for Medicaid, a single individual
cannot have more than $2,000 in countable assets,
and a couple cannot have more than $101,540. Any
excess must be either spent down till it's gone (not
generally the best alternative), gifted (which causes a
costly period of Medicaid ineligibility), or converted to a
non-countable asset. Such a non-countable asset is
a "Medicaid annuity." Here's how it works.
An annuity is a regular stream of payments back to
you, in exchange for a lump sum of money. They can
be either private (made between you and a family
member) or commercial (made with an insurance
company). Medicaid only allows commercial
annuities.
For example, if you are a male, age 70, you could
transfer $50,000 to an insurance company in
exchange for a monthly annuity payment of $400,
guaranteed for your life, no matter how long you lived.
But what if you died unexpectedly after two years?
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Using the Arts to Promote Quality of Life for People With Alzheimer's
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Interest in the arts as enhancers of life's quality is
pretty well understood. Studies have shown the
healing effects of music. I wrote about one such study
in "Music Therapy Helps Some Regain Speech After
Stroke." No matter what our age or health situation is,
music, as well as the other fine arts and crafts, help
most of us live life more fully.
Assisted living centers, nursing homes and adult day
services have for years focused on music and art as
entertainment, as well as therapy, for their
residnts.Lately, however, the movement seems to be
gaining even more steam.
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Use Medicare Facility Ranking System as a Tool Not a Rule
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I have been asked any times about the Medicare
Ranking System for facilities, so I'm linking here to an
article I wrote when it first came out. I feel the same
way about it now.
Nursing home administrators are worried, and for
good reason. The new Medicare nursing home
comparing site at Medicare.gov/nhcompare has gone
live. Nursing homes are given ratings, from one to five,
in four categories. This is a simple rating system for
complex elder care centers. Please use this as a tool,
but use it with great care.
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NFA "Care Connection" Calls Offer Caregiver Support
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Take care of yourself this New Year by chatting with
other caregivers. The Alzheimer's Foundation of
America telephone support network offers
phone "Care Connection" support chats every
Thursday night at 9 p.m. ET. Dial (877) 232-2992 for
chat schedules and further details, or go to www.alzfdn.org/AFAServices/careconnection
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Should Your Elderly Parent Risk an Anesthetic Disaster or Forego Surgery?
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Just last week a reader asked me whether she
should try to sway her mother, who had colon cancer,
toward surgery. Her mother, 87, was diagnosed with
colon cancer and given the choice of surgery and
chemotherapy or letting it alone.
If she chose not to have surgery, she could still have
chemotherapy and radiation, though she was told that
treatment wasn't apt to help a great deal. As expected,
the daughter was distraught. She was seeking help in
determining what her responsibility to her mother is.
The woman mentioned that her mother was mentally
sharp, so I told her that, in my opinion, her mother
should be given all available information and then left
to make her own decision. Barring advanced
dementia or other mental issues, I feel elders should
have the right to make informed decisions about their
own health.
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Only Children Vs. Sharing Decisions With Siblings - Which is Easier?
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In the world of caregiving, sibling issues abound. Any
problems that were around when you were growing
up will likely turn up again, as your parents age. The
pecking order rarely changes. The "girl" work and
the "boy" work rarely changes. There are exceptions,
of course.
And there are a few families that get along so well that
these issues never are a problem. But watching our
parents age is nearly always difficult, and when you
throw in complicated decisions about whether to go
ahead with dangerous or expensive treatment with a
frail elder, differences of opinion abound. Even living
decisions - stay home, assisted living, nursing
home? - can cause great conflict.
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About Carol
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Caregiving expert Carol Bradley Bursack, Author,
speaker and columnist, presents a collection of
articles, stories, news and research for you to
browse. Please check the blog and Web site links for
more information and feel free to email Carol at
carol@mindingourelders.com to chat or ask
questions. Minding Our Elders is a registered
trademark.
If your group or organization would like to buy "Minding
Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories"
in bulk, please email carol@mindingourelders.com
for information. Bulk rates are available.
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