A Note From Carol
Dear Friends,
The shiny new day of January 1st never fails to make
me hopeful. While I've put in enough decades to have
had my share of smudged up days, weeks and even
months, there's still a naïve feeling of newness each
January. I hope I never lose that.
As a caregiver, sometimes it's hard to hang onto
hope. My family had three "Christmas deaths." Each of
my elders who died at this time of year was at a stage
where their physical death was somewhat of a
blessing, as it ended long-term suffering. However,
these deaths also meant great losses for our family.
Grief and relief. Mixed emotions.
Most of life is like that, a mix of human emotions.
Sometimes it's hard to tease out exactly what we are
feeling at any one time. Not only death, but caregiving
itself, often causes mixed feelings.
We want to help our loved ones. We often feel
honored to do so. Most of us who have traveled with
someone to the end of their lifetime will look back and
have no regrets that we gave up much to be a
caregiver.
However, that doesn't negate the fact that during the
caregiving years, many emotions can surface that we
aren't particularly proud of. Exhaustion can make us
feel negatively toward our loved ones. The sour
moods our loved ones can sink into may bleed into
us. We know they are suffering from losses and that is
depressing, but we get tired of trying to be heroes all
the time. These are human emotions.
When we find ourselves getting tired and crabby, we
need to look for someone to take over the caregiving
tasks, even if it's just for a bit. We need to get some
relief. When we can go back rested, we can see the
good in it all. We can put a shiny new spin on the old
tasks of caregiving because we have been renewed.
Please work on taking care of yourself this New Year.
Everyone will benefit.
Carol
