A Note From Carol
Dear Friends,
Are you worn out yet? Just the thought of holiday
festivities can be enough to wring the energy out of
many a caregiver. The only way I know around that is
to simplify. Figure out what is really important and do
that, leaving the rest for another year.
However, while you are simplifying the decorating,
card writing and cooking, don't simplify so much that
you don't treat yourself to a party your really want to
attend. If you need to hire an in-home caregiver or ask
your faith community for a volunteer for the evening so
you can go so your favorite holiday function this year,
then do it, guilt free.
If you have an elder or a mate living with you who is
upset by change and would find a party disorienting,
then neither of you would have fun. It's okay to go
alone. Find some help, even if it means trading care
with a friend, so you both get to something you enjoy.
Try to find things your loved ones will enjoy, as well. If
they are in assisted living or a nursing home,
generally there are many planned activities, but they
need family involvement, too.
If they are living with you (or you with them), then think
about what will make them happy. A quiet evening with
hot chocolate and an old Bing Crosby Christmas
special? Dig up a DVD and plan a fun evening.
It's hard to take loved ones out for events, especially
for those of us who live up north and fight snow and
ice. Often you have to consider all of the options, and
one of those may be to stay home. Don't feel guilty
about that, either. But do try to find some fun in this
busy season. That may mean asking for help, which
is difficult for many caregivers to do. But try it. Your
improved mood may be the best gift to your loved one
you can give this holiday season.
Take care of yourself and them,
Carol
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Hello!
Welcome to Minding Our Elders! Our hope is to break
the isolation that caregivers often feel. We'd also like
to share ideas, comfort and information that will help
you along your caregiving journey. Thanks for reading.
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Two Parents with Dementia: How Do We Cope?
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My mom and dad both have dementia. I am all
alone
taking care of them since my sister passed away I
have no one to help me. I get sad and frustrated with
them both. How do I deal with my feelings?
These are powerful words from one Agingcare.com
forum participant. It's a "cry from the wild" which will
touch the heart of most caregivers. Many of us feel
alone when we are trying to care for our aging parents
and there are no siblings to help, or if there are
siblings, they can't or won't help.
When we have one parent who has dementia, it is
hard. When we have two, it is often nearly unbearable.
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Structuring My Day-In Spite of Dementia!
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My friend and colleague, Leah, has vascular
dementia. I often link to her wonderful posts to give
readers an "inside view" of dementia. Below is her
most recent contribution.
How important is structure in the day of someone
living with dementia? It seems to be VERY important.
But HOW does one create structure when one is
retired and every day is different? That is my dilemma.
Here are my suggestions:
1. Keep a calendar current.
I actually have multiple calendars: one on the
refrigerator where I jot down important notes, one on
my Palm Pilot phone, and one on computer (Microsoft
Outlook). My husband also keeps a calendar so that
he can keep up with me and remind me, when
needed.
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"Do My Elderly Parents Need a Geriatrician?"
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As a caregiver, you may ask yourself: "Should my
elderly mom or dad visit a geriatrician -- isn't their
family doctor enough?"
As a caregiver to an elderly parent, you are probably
juggling multiple doctors, specialists, tests, records,
and prescription drugs. You may feel that adding
another doctor to the mix will only complicate matters.
However, the opposite is true. When many factors are
involved in your aging mom or dad's care, a
geriatrician, or geriatric care, can be very helpful. A
geriatrician can coordinate the work of specialists and
other healthcare providers such as social workers,
nurses, and home health aides.
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Dementia - When Improvement Brings Joy
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Joseph, a colleague, cares for his mother who is
in a care center. He has a great deal of information to
share. I particularly like this post:
For the past eleven months, I've observed my 88 year
old mother's intellect slowly diminish. The hardest
thing to deal with has been the delusions and false
beliefs. Her personality was changing and many
things that were always mom were no longer mom.
Even in those little things like food preferences, she
claimed to have never liked certain foods that she
used to enjoy. It was a strange development and
made figuring out a meal difficult. I wondered what
was happening to make these things occur.
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Guide to Antipsychotic Drug Side Effects and Alzheimer's
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Antipsychotic medications are used to control
psychoses such as schizophrenia, but they can also
be used to treat behavioral disturbances such as
suspicion and paranoia associated with Alzheimer's
disease.
Antipsychotic drugs, although not approved by the FDA
for treatment of patients with dementia, are still
prescribed and their use has increased substantially
in the past 20 years or so.
According to the Center for Medicare and Medicaid
Services, nearly a third of all nursing home residents
are prescribed antipsychotic medication.
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About Carol
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Caregiving expert Carol Bradley Bursack, Author,
speaker and columnist, presents a collection of
articles, stories, news and research for you to
browse. Please check the blog and Web site links for
more information and feel free to email Carol at
carol@mindingourelders.com to chat or ask
questions. Minding Our Elders is a registered
trademark.
If your group or organization would like to buy "Minding
Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories"
in bulk, please email carol@mindingourelders.com
for information. Bulk rates are available.
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