"Mom! Where are all these packages coming from?" Some caregivers are pulling out their hair over Mom or Dad's shopaholic habits.

What do you do when your mother calls that shopping network 800 number and orders jewelry she has no use for, and worse yet can't afford? What do you do when she uses her limited computer skills to shop online, charging up the credit cards with who knows what? How do you step in when the money isn't yours and Dad insists he has a right to do as he pleases?

It used to be hard enough when the biggest problems were charity phone calls and the magazine companies. My mother loved her magazines and had been taking a number of them since I was a child. As she aged, she enjoyed them even more. When a nice lady called from on of the all-in-one magazine order places with this amazing offer, Mom was hooked. She thought she'd made a cracking good deal. I guess she had, if she lived to be 115 years old and could enjoy the magazines that long.

The SMP programs, formerly known as Senior Medicare Patrol, are set up to help Medicare and Medicaid beneficiaries avoid, detect and prevent health care fraud. This is one way that seniors help peers, as most SMP volunteers, trained to help seniors watch for fraud, are Medicare recipients.

On the SMP site, seniors can find their state and simply click to get contact information for their area. Whether a senior wants to be trained as a volunteer, or is wondering if something on their bill is fishy, this is the place to go. I find this a brilliant way for seniors to help seniors see that Medicare dollars go where they are intended to go, and to watch for other types of scams. Do check out the SMPsite.

After my dad's brain surgery left him demented, the doctors put him on the anti-psychotic drug Haldol. He was in the hospital and we were still being told that nothing went wrong from the surgery and he would be just fine. The fact that he had a voice in his head and was not at all the same as before was never admitted. owever, the psychiatrist did see fit to put him on this drug.

At first, I couldn't figure out why Dad was insisting that the young male nurse with whom he'd bonded so well before surgery was now, in Dad's mind, trying to kill him in the shower.

Paying for the best care for our elders is tough. It's also tough finding out where to look for help. The Eldercare Financial Resource Locator Search Tool helps families find financial resources to pay for eldercare. It is in its early stages but basically you enter basic demographic data about the individual in need of care and the Tool provides a list of different state, federal, veterans, home equity and other resources for which they are qualified.

Medicare bears watching for those of us who care for seniors, as well as those of us who are seniors. Many of us are both. I received my September/October e- mail for my "Ask Medicare" newsletter and thought that I should remind many caregivers and seniors that for most of us (if we use a computer or have friends or families who do), Social Security and Medicare issues are often more easily understood by going to the Web site than by waiting for someone to help you on the phone.

Obviously, sometimes phone calls and even appointments are necessary. But the government sites have come a long way. The link below takes you to the current newsletter which has some important reminders as it is sign-up season for many who will be looking at their Medicare D prescription drug plans. I feel it's worth your time.

Caregiving expert Carol Bradley Bursack, Author, speaker and columnist, presents a collection of articles, stories, news and research for you to browse. Please check the blog and Web site links for more information and feel free to email Carol at carol@mindingourelders.com to chat or ask questions. Minding Our Elders is a registered trademark.

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