A Note From Carol
Dear Friends,
While most of us aren't seeing autumn leaves yet, it
won't be long and the changing season - for those of
us who live where the seasons mark the rhythm of
life - becomes apparent. With this change often
comes the worry of how our elders will make it
through the coming winter.
The ice in parking lots can make an already
complicated doctor visit even tougher. I'll never forget
pushing my 200 lb. father-in-law in his wheelchair up
an ice and snow clogged incline to get him into the
doctor. The struggle is recorded for history in
"Remembering Milton," a chapter in my book.
When taking my mother out with her walker, I carried
sand in my car trunk. I'd have to make a sand trail
from the car door to the building, then guide her in with
her walker. We were quite a sight, but she didn't slip
Ah, the joys of winter in the north. But these
challenges aren't the only winter challenges of caring
for our loved ones. Will Dad try to save money by
conserving heat, thus risking both his health as well
as Mom's? Will Grandpa be safe and not wander out
into subzero temperatures while Grandma sleeps?
Will your normally spry uncle take a tumble on the ice
in the grocery store parking lot?
It seems the worries increase with inclement weather.
But then, the worries are there year around. Summer
heat is not picnic for elders, either. Sometimes our
worries are like seasons. They come around in
cycles, no matter what is really going on. Taking care
of our elders requires a ton of strategic planning, but
we have to remember to add a dash of reality. There
are some things we just have to cope with and move
on. Fall, winter, spring, summer - they all offer
challenges. The biggest challenge of all for the
caregiver may be not to borrow trouble by guilt-
producing doubts. There's only so much you can do,
and that
has to be enough
Take care,
Carol
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Hello!
Welcome to Minding Our Elders! Our hope is to break
the isolation that caregivers often feel. We'd also like
to share ideas, comfort and information that will help
you along your caregiving journey. Thanks for reading.
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When Elders Don't Accept Outside Caregivers in the Home
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When my uncle had in-home health care, he liked a
couple of the caregivers, he thought one was okay,
and barely tolerated two others. I wasn't always there
to witness his behavior, but I'd say that the caregivers
he didn't particularly like were not thrilled with him,
either. Yet they did their job.
My neighbor, Joe, had a similar situation. He locked
one caregiver out of his home, let another one in but
was rude to her, and thoroughly enjoyed one young
man because they could discuss golf. Quality of care
wasn't the issue. Joe resented anyone but me helping
him, and the only reason he liked the guy was for
talking about a shared sport.
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Has Your Loved One Has Lost Ground Mentally After Hospitalization? It May Be the Anesthetic
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Frequently, I talk with people who have gotten their
elderly parent home from a hospital stay, expecting an
improvement in health, and found that they have
deteriorated mentally - sometimes significantly. They
ask, "Will this go away?"
Obviously, each case is different, but it's certainly an
issue that needs to be addressed. Sometimes a
hospital stay can be so disorienting that an elder will
sink into a confused state, even though no sign of
infection or other physical reason seems evident.
Some recover, but some don't seem to ever get back
to where they were prior to the hospital stay.
Is delirium the wrong word for this? Perhaps, by some
definitions, but it is one that has been used by
scientists as they've looked into why an elder can go
home mentally worse off than they were before the
hospitalization. If there has been an anesthetic used,
as is often the case, there seems to be more of a
chance that the elder will suffer mentally. While
anesthesia is meant to wear off, causing no side
effects once processed by the body, this doesn't seem
to be the case with many elders.
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8 Coping Strategies for Caregiver Stress
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Caregiving can be rewarding, but it can as many of us
know, be a nightmare. Caregiving carries a health
warning.
Caregivers go to their doctors for their own health
problems 50% more often than non caregivers, they
receive 70% more prescribed medicines than non
caregivers, they go to hospital or Emergency room
25% more than non-caregivers, they suffer the effects
of stress including high blood pressure, heart
disease, and suffer emotional problems that include
anger, despair, hopelessness, guilt and depression.
All these things highlight the fact that as a caregiver
you must find the time to look after yourself.
Often caregivers will say they don't have the time, but
you have to try and make it otherwise you will need
caregivers yourself
Can I suggest a few things? I know you have probably
considered many of them before, but at times when
you get very stressed there is an urgency to look at
self care strategies again.
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Family Caregivers Need to Be Fair to Out-of-Area Siblings
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There's a great deal of angst in the family caregiver
world about siblings who don't help out with the aging
parents. Very often, it's the person who lives closest to
the parents who ends up being the primary caregiver.
This is kind of a default thing because logistics would
make it seem only, well, logical.
However, the adult child living closest to the parents
may not be the one who is best suited emotionally,
financially or practically, for the job. This person may
be a single mother trying desperately to take care of
children and provide them with a living by working two
low paying jobs. Then she takes on the parents, as
they live in the same town. She is, understandably,
overwhelmed.
This is when she needs to turn to her siblings for
whatever help they can give. If they can't be present
physically, they should help financially, or with bill
paying and legal paperwork. They should do
something, but often they don't. Many times, it's
because they just don't want to be bothered
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About Carol
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Caregiving expert Carol Bradley Bursack, Author,
speaker and columnist, presents a collection of
articles, stories, news and research for you to
browse. Please check the blog and Web site links for
more information and feel free to email Carol at
carol@mindingourelders.com to chat or ask
questions. Minding Our Elders is a registered
trademark.
If your group or organization would like to buy "Minding
Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories"
in bulk, please email carol@mindingourelders.com
for information. Bulk rates are available.
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