A Note From Carol
Dear friends,
In some parts of the country (maybe most) you are in
the heart of spring. We, here in the Red River Valley of
the North, are still cleaning up from a major flood
battle, which thank God, we won. It's dirty around here,
with sandbags in piles and clay dikes being torn
down. But we are so grateful. There have been many
community celebrations, and college and high
school kids who worked so hard to save the city (free)
are now going to be paid to clean it up.
Things do have a way of working out. Anyone living
very long has gone through hard times. We choose
our attitude, often, about how we will look at them. If
we are human, we'll have some fear and do some
grumbling. But if we are a smart human, somewhere
along the lines, we'll recognize that we are stronger
because of surviving the pain.
Caregiving brings shining moments of joy, but it also
brings frustration, exhaustion - even anger. Many of
us go through times where we just don't think we can
do it anymore. Then, somehow, we find strength to go
on. Often, when we've gotten to the "I can't do it
anymore" stage, we'll find that we suddenly find more
strength to carry on, and perhaps some inner
guidance as to what changes need to be made to
As humans, we will make mistakes. We are imperfect.
We will fight change. We will rail against God for the
pain of our loved ones and the pain we suffer.
However, if we choose somewhere down the road to
look back with an open heart, we will see how we've
grown through it all. That growth is one of the
blessings given to those who give of themselves so
that others can have a better life.
Take care,
Carol
Quick Links...
Agency Referral Help
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Hello!
Welcome to Minding Our Elders! Our hope is to break
the isolation that caregivers often feel. We'd also like
to share ideas, comfort and information that will help
you along your caregiving journey. Thanks for reading.
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Questions About Nursing Homes Answered
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"Don't ever put me in a nursing home!"
How often have we heard that? And how many of us
have fallen prey to making a promise not to let this
happen?
Generally, the elder asking you to make this promise
is remembering a visit to a friend or relative, often
years back, and has decided all nursing homes are
dreadful places. Unfortunately, some still are. But
nursing homes, originally modeled after military
hospitals and - yes - prisons, were arranged for
efficiency of staff. They were set up to take care of
people with as little staff time as possible. People
have had good reason to fear living in a nursing home.
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"Spending Down" to Medicaid: A Personal Journey
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From Agingcare.com - an excellent article on
something many of us have to face - how to qualify for
Medicaid. This article is by by June A. Schroeder, RN,
CFP.
"My uncle called me one day and said "Your Aunt just
got lost again and I can't take it anymore." Thus
began my experience with the complexity of Medicaid
(Title 19 of the federal Social Security Act), designed to
provide medical assistance to those individuals who
have minimal assets and inadequate income of their
own. Some people have too much income and/or
assets to qualify, so they must "spend down" or use
up their own money to reach the eligibility levels.
Although I had been a financial planner and advisor
for years, I had not come in contact with the program
personally or through clients, just through reading and
seminars. I had learned that planning before acting is
VERY important and that eligibility requirements vary
by state. Those who specialize in this area, elder law
attorneys, medical social workers, state employed
case workers, are your greatest resource to avoid
delays and avoid creating periods of ineligibility
requiring recertification. "
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Five Steps Caregivers Can Take If They Are Unhappy With a Senior Care Center
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I think most of us approach the idea of sharing the
care of an elder with a lot of trepidation. We have
cared for them with one-on-one loving attention. We
know their history, their preferences, their tempers
and their needs. Bringing others, no matter how
experienced, into the equation is counterintuitive.
However, for many of us, the time comes when we
have no choice. Over the course of two decades I
cared for seven elders. All but two spent some time in
a care facility. During the 15 years I visited daily, I saw
three changes of ownership. Each was good, though
the last (and present ownership) has been the best,
from the viewpoint of a family member.
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Minding Our Elders Column in Your Newspaper?
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Boomers and caregivers - make yourselves heard! As
I've mentioned before, Minding Our Elders is
expanding in all directions. This includes the weekly
newspaper column
If you read a newspaper online, in print or both, and
you'd like to see the weekly Minding Our Elders
column run for your benefit as well as that of others,
please take a moment to e-mail or call your local
newspaper editor. Go to either the Life Styles editor (or
whatever they currently call that section, the managing
editor or the executive editor. Let them know what you
want.
Believe me, newspapers are fighting for their lives.
They want to know what readers are looking for. Most
newspapers are trying to lure the twenty-somethings
into their readership net. Nothing wrong with that. But
in doing so, many are ignoring the vast audience of
boomers who are caregivers,
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About Carol
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Caregiving expert Carol Bradley Bursack, Author,
speaker and columnist, presents a collection of
articles, stories, news and research for you to
browse. Please check the blog and Web site links for
more information and feel free to email Carol at
carol@mindingourelders.com to chat or ask
questions. Minding Our Elders is a registered
trademark.
If your group or organization would like to buy "Minding
Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories"
in bulk, please email carol@mindingourelders.com
for information. Bulk rates are available.
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