A Note From Carol
Dear friends,
By now, most of you have seen coverage of the
flooding in the Red River Valley of the North. We are
still holding our breath, though the first record crest of
the Red River has passed. We are now getting a
blizzard with close to a foot of snow (some areas
more).
Watching the television footage of elders being
evacuated from nursing homes was heartbreaking.
The evacuation was a precaution, and will likely not
have been necessary for most of these people. In the
flood we had in 1997, Fargo didn't evacuate nursing
homes, although some smaller Red River Valley
towns had to do it by boat, so a lesson was learned.
It was suggested early on as flood conditions
developed that people with vulnerable family
members in their homes find other places for them,
before an emergency evacuation became necessary.
Trying to get a wheelchair bound elder into
a boat is bad. Trying to get a confused, fist flying elder
with Alzheimer's into a boat is - well, horrible.
These elders are scared, uncomfortable and
confused. Their families didn't even know where
some of them were for awhile, though most of them
have been notified by now.
The core city survived the first crest. We're praying that
dikes hold during the wind of this blizzard. Waves are
very hard on soggy dikes.Then there will be a
second crest after this snow melts. Will the elders
have to spend two more weeks away from their
familiar surroundings? It's possible.
This is a good time for you, the caregiver, think about
what you'd do given a major flood, fire, hurricane,
tornado. There's only so much preparation one can
do, of course. But start with medications. Those can
be vital. Sometimes, that's all the time you have - grab
the bag and get out. Hopefully, you'd have time to take
more.
Blessings to you all who do so much for others.
Carol
Quick Links...
Agency Referral Help
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Hello!
Welcome to Minding Our Elders! Our hope is to break
the isolation that caregivers often feel. We'd also like
to share ideas, comfort and information that will help
you along your caregiving journey. Thanks for reading.
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Your Questions About In-Home Care Answered
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When the subject of in-home care comes up, there is
often a lot of confusion. I first tried in-home care when
it was a very new concept, at least in my area. That
was in the early 80s when my elderly neighbor, Joe,
whom I'd been caring for, fell and dislocated his
shoulder. While at the hospital, we were offered help
at home for Joe, so we happily accepted, thinking it
was part of Medicare. When the eye-popping bill
came, I realized that I was lacking some important
information. The hospital had its own in-home care
service and they were less than forthcoming about
other options, as well as costs.
Sure, that was years ago, but some things don't
change that much. People still have questions about
in-home care. I'll try, here, to answer the most
frequently asked questions.
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Living with Elderly Parents: Do You Regret the Decision?
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You did it, didn't you? You promised, long ago when
your dad died, that you'd take care of Mom and she'd
never have to go to a nursing home. You promised
Mom - after her visit to a nursing home, one of the
worst in the state, to visit a friend - that she'd never
have to go to a care facility of any kind.
No, you would always take care of her. After all, she
always cared for you. Or, even though she wasn't a
very good mother, and you never really got along, one
cares for one's own, right? Or, your mother was pretty
healthy and doing okay and you were divorced and
trying to take care of two children, so you moved in
with your mother. She cared for the kids for awhile, but
then began showing signs of strange behavior. You
feared for your kids, your mother and yourself. "What
have I gotten myself into?" You thought.
Many people are facing the fact that their sweet
intentions have taken a sour turn. Certainly, for some,
the decision to cohabitate with their elders works out
fine. Two or even three generations residing in the
same home can work. It can work when there is plenty
of space so that everyone has some degree of privacy.
It can work when there is respect for one another and
a place to go when one has had enough family time. It
can work when there is plenty of cooperation, planning
beforehand and even some respite care for the elder,
should that be needed.
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"The Alzheimer's Project" on HBO
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A heads-up for those of you with HBO service:
"More than a year in the making, "The Alzheimer's
Project" is a groundbreaking, four-part documentary
series airing on HBO May 10-12. The first of the four
documentaries, "The Memory Loss Tapes" (May 10, 9
p.m. Eastern), provides an up-close and personal
look at seven individuals living with
Alzheimer's. "Momentum In Science, Part 1" (May 11, 8
p.m. Eastern) and "Part 2" (May 12, 8 p.m. Eastern) is
a state-of-the-art science report that takes viewers
inside some of the most cutting-edge Alzheimer
research advances. "Grandpa, Do You Know Who I
Am? With Maria Shriver" (May 11, 7:30 p.m. Eastern)
captures what it means to be a child or grandchild of a
person with Alzheimer's. "Caregivers" (May 12, 7 p.m.
Eastern) highlights the sacrifices and successes of
people who experience their loved ones' gradual
descent into dementia."
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Family Support Invaluable
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From Leah, our talented blogger who has vascular
dementia:
The funniest thing happened the other day. I got
summons for court duty! First, I groaned. Then, I said
NEAT! And soon after I realized that, with dementia, I
couldn't serve on a jury. Ever hear the term
MISTRIAL? So, reluctantly, and with some humor, I
wrote a note, included my social security notice of
disability and sent it back. Sigh - it would have been a
great experience.
But, having dementia may have some benefits. My
husband and I went to a local hardware store. In front
was the cutest John Deere lawn tractor with a small
trailer behind, about the size of a wheel barrel.
"Ewww - l-i-k-e that," I said to my husband as I
drooled over the cart. "I could really use this when I
work in the yard!"
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About Carol
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Caregiving expert Carol Bradley Bursack, Author,
speaker and columnist, presents a collection of
articles, stories, news and research for you to
browse. Please check the blog and Web site links for
more information and feel free to email Carol at
carol@mindingourelders.com to chat or ask
questions. Minding Our Elders is a registered
trademark.
If your group or organization would like to buy "Minding
Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories"
in bulk, please email carol@mindingourelders.com
for information. Bulk rates are available.
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