Emotional Intelligence: Leading in the 21st Century
Tim Tokarczyk and Tom Alafat
Many experts believe that a person's emotional quotient (EQ) is a better predictor of success than IQ. Unlike IQ, emotional intelligence is a skill set that we can develop and improve throughout our lives.
Ed is a project manager who has risen through the ranks due to his attention to detail and insistence on finishing projects on schedule. He arrives on-site to inspect work completed by Dean, a journeyman, only to discover it was built out incorrectly. Fixing the work will increase the projected hours and material cost. Even worse, Dean refuses to take any responsibility for the mistake, even though there was a task plan in place.
Ed recognizes the severity of the situation and wants Dean to accept ownership over the problem. Tensions rise and both men start shouting, which attracts the attention of the rest of the crew. Ed realizes this is an unhealthy situation and unproductive toward his eventual goal of getting Dan to own the problem and develop a workable solution, but is unable to control his anger. The two men eventually start making personal attacks on each other.
To Ed's credit, his attempt to get Dean to accept responsibility for the mistake was intentional and part of the bigger picture in helping Dean become ready for the next level of leadership. Ed thought Dean might be resistant to take responsibility for his mistake, but he pictured himself behaving differently. He imagined he would listen to Dean's initial excuses, convince him to take responsibility, and motivate him to solve the issue. He did not expect to lose his temper, and he did not expect to hear himself personally attacking Dean. Instead of focusing on the issue, he called Dean "lazy, incompetent and worthless." Ed felt bad about the confrontation, but in the heat of the moment, his words and actions felt uncontrollable. Reflecting on the argument, he realized that over the years he has had many similar encounters. Ed knows there is a better way to deal with conflict but feels powerless to do so when tensions rise and tempers flare.
Read on to learn how to build your emotional intelligence so you may deal effectively with pressures and conflicts without damaging relationships.
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