 Recent research investigating marital satisfaction has shown that it is critical to repair marital problems as they develop. Allowing resentments to build increases the likelihood of divorce and decreases the effectiveness of couple therapy. Imagine not seeing your physician for years and allowing a condition to set in. Treatment may not be as effective as it would have been by catching it early. By making marital resolutions, you can prevent problems from taking a strong hold in your marriage. Here are some steps to begin this process.
To begin with, identify any unmet needs you are experiencing in our marriage so you can gain clarity on requests you want to make from your partner. I encourage couples to request what they would like rather than state what they do not like. Next, you need to consider how much energy and effort you've been putting into your marriage. For instance, when is the last time you surprised your spouse with a romantic dinner or a special date plan? It is important to take responsibility for your part in any martial neglect. We all get busy and seem to devote our last energies to our jobs and children. Your marriage can pay an irreparable price for this, so put your creative hats on and identify ways to have time together as a couple. Remember, it is okay to sacrifice spontaneity by scheduling time for intimacy in advance. Lastly, be open to your partner's requests for change and try to avoid defensiveness. We are not mind readers and need to know specifically what would make our spouses happy.
Take fifteen minutes and take a good look at how your marriage is doing. Make a detailed plan for improvement and a commitment to change. This process can be facilitated by the many self help books available and/or couples therapy.
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