 Equine-Facilitated
Psychotherapy & Learning EFP/L |
September 2008
| |
|
|
|
Upcoming Workshops
The Horse-Human Connection:
Equine-Facilitated Learning
Invisible Horsemanship™:
Introductory Seminar
The Horse-Human Connection:
Equine-Facilitated Learning
| |
|
Colorful Autumn Greetings from HEAL!
Caring for horses, indeed being around them at all, offers a unique connection to nature and its rhythms. This is part of the "magic" of EFP/L. Our work is not done in an office cubicle, and each session may be very different from the one before simply because of changes in the weather and the horse routines of the season. We feel the relief of being close to nature, being held by the earth, able to share an unspoken language with a species very different from our own. It's a great opportunity to forget about "normal" and start practicing and being "natural".
This month's article, Healthy Boundaries: Consistency Balanced with Flexibility, shares some insight into being natural with boundaries, an important topic in any relationship but especially with our (mostly) large equine friends. In this month's Nickers column, you'll meet one of HEAL's regular volunteers, John Campbell. We also believe you'll enjoy reading about Sam Lange's soul connection with her equine partner, Jericho, in this month's Soul Work with Horses column.
Please note that we've posted some additional workshops for fall. The 1-day seminar, Invisible Horsemanship™, offers a great introduction to the HEAL approach to horses and EFL, while the 3-day Horse-Human Connection workshop explores the field of EFP/L.
As you read this, I'm in the England conducting workshops. Thanks to a growing community and the efforts of an awesome team on the home front, we will be touching many lives, both human and horse, during the month of September. Hope to see you at one of our fall events!
Blessings,
Leigh Shambo, MSW
Human-Equine Alliances for Learning (HEAL)
360.266.0778
|
|
|
|
|
|
Healthy Boundaries: Consistency Balanced with Flexibility
|
by Leigh Shambo, MSW
Human Equine Alliances for Learning |
It is fun and interesting to return to my herd when I come home from my frequent trips away. Ameer, the Arabian gelding, is the most expressive about greeting me. Recently, my return from a longer than usual trip had the horses excited, and four of them had galloped up by the barn to greet me. As they were cavorting and exuberant, I did not want them too close to me and so held my hand up to signal my boundary. I noticed how Ameer held back until I lowered my hand. Then, he galloped up very close, stopped on a dime beside me and wrapped his neck about me in a hug. Because it was Ameer, because I trust him so much, and because I understood what he was doing, it felt natural and joyous and exhilarating to experience and allow this. Was it wrong?
We are frequently exhorted in the horse world to be consistent, and to have good boundaries. Yet, it's not always simple to figure out what that means. Boundaries are an important cornerstone of good relationship. And yet to truly function in organic environments, to truly be useful and adaptive, boundaries have to be flexible. Good boundaries are all about discernment, letting in the good as well as keeping out the bad. And boundaries must be grown from the inside out, each person must understand where they are putting their boundaries and why. And it is wise to remember that boundaries can be part of our authenticity in relationships, or they can be rigid, "knee jerk" reactions from so-called "false self patterns".
Boundaries are one of the most concrete manifestations of the invisible agreements between human and horse. Seemingly simple at first, the delicate dance of ever-changing boundaries invites a lifetime of possible learning. When are we safe? What is respectful behavior? Can the rules change from moment to moment? The fact is, that boundaries are confusing because they often change (sometimes even moment to moment). They are highly situational, and the interpersonal signals with which we signal our personal boundaries are often very subtle. This is true even when we are capable of relative clarity and consistency with boundaries. There is an optimum balance for boundaries. Consistency and firmness are tempered by a reasonable flexibility and understanding of how the boundary "fits" the situation. Read more...
|
|
|
| Back to top of page
|
| Soul Work with Horses |
I attended Leigh Shambo's Invisible Horsemanship™ workshop in the spring of 2006 and what a treat it was! It was yet another example of the universe bringing me to some great people at just the right time.
 I brought my horse, Jericho, with me to the workshop. Jericho is a 10 year old Arab/Paint gelding and the first horse I've owned as an adult. When I purchased Jericho, he reminded me of the horse I had spent so much time with as a teenager.
The horse of my teens was an Appaloosa mare named Red Eagle's Red Wing; we called her Red. That mare was one of the smoothest movers, with nice comfortable round withers (my mom, who cared for our horses, never spared the alfalfa and oats!) and a beautiful dished face. Red was liver-colored, almost purple when you looked at her in the early evening light, with darker and lighter spots all over. I would ride her in to our small town 3 miles away, meet my friends on their horses, and take her swimming on long summer afternoons. We would be gone for hours on end. She was freedom incarnate. I could do anything or go anywhere with her and she would just prance around with me, bareback and bold, afraid of nothing.
And that's where the similarity with my current horse ends. He competes for my attention with my 5 year old daughter, my husband, our 2 other horses, 3 cats and 3 dogs, and my fulltime job. I had no clue what guilt was until my daughter was born. Now, I feel the familiar pangs every time I choose to be with one and not the other. When I first saw Jericho move, with his thick mane and long forelock, he reminded me of Red. The comfortable jog and lightness in his step was like coming home for me; the way he rested his mouth on my hand, wanting to connect, when I held his halter.
The first ride on Jericho after I got him home was a trail nightmare. Read more...
|
| Back to top of page |
|
Nickers... from
John (Galant Free Eagle) Campbell, HEAL Volunteer |
As a horseman I can count a grand total of three horseback rides in my 70 + years of life. So why would I have the audacity to appear in a website associated with horses?
 In 2002 I had the opportunity to volunteer at aAprina Elegante Ranch as a handler of their "top end" AMHA miniature horses (a first time experience with horses for me). In fact after working there a year or two, I was generously presented "Free" (a 38" gelding) as a Christmas gift. We gloriously romped, played and communicated in a pasture, my first experience with a Human Equine connection.
I met Leigh Shambo at about that time and soon thereafter signed up for one of the HEAL workshops. A wonderful introduction to "big horses" that led to a second HEAL workshop. I have since offered assistance where I can to Leigh, the horses and the ranch. As you can see in my signature, I have also found a great friend of wisdom in "Galant", the "big man" in the HEAL herd!
 I'm an Elder, not to be confused with "older" or religion, in The ManKind Project (MKP). MKP is a large international men's initiation organization. My work there is creating a harmonious world, nurturing myself and others with my Elder energy and experience. I have found a similar credo here at HEAL and will continue to be involved as best and often as I can.
Thus far, No, I may not be a horseman as perceived by folks who have grown up around horses, but I am totally sold on the importance and gift in a Human Equine connection. And so I honor "Galant" and "Free" as my animal totems in my continuing work with MKP.
More about The ManKind Project
|
|
| Back to top of page
|
Healthy Boundaries (cont)
|
My colt, Tankha, who is almost four years old now, had a tougher time than some horses learning about spatial boundaries and to control his nipping. He has this challenge both by nature and (literally!) by nurture as well. As soon as he had risen after his birth, nursed and began to notice his environment, he was on to me like a puppy, friendly and inquisitive, not the least bit shy. He liked body contact, even with humans. This is very appealing in a young foal, but also signals a bold personality that can be a challenge as the horse grows.
Tankha's disposition was further shaped by the unfolding of his first weeks. His dam, Frieda, was critically ill with peritonitis during the late stages of the pregnancy. She had lost much weight in spite of intensive veterinary care. And it quickly became evident she wasn't making enough milk to support this foal. By the middle of his 2nd day, Tankha was losing energy, and shivering on the cold, late March afternoon, even in the barn. I learned to feed him with a bottle, and then I piled up the straw, brought out a blanket and pillow, and slept with Tankha to keep him warm. In the following days many of the volunteers and friends associated with Human-Equine Alliances for Learning (HEAL) offered help with the constantly growing chore of supplementing Frieda's scant milk with bottles, and later on, a bucket. I was grateful when Frieda slowly began to recover her condition.
Being smart, personable, and very trainable, it was not difficult for Tankha to learn and respect my boundaries, since I interacted with him many times daily. But, being smart and personable, Tankha would instantly ascertain the varying boundaries (or lack thereof!) of each individual person! You could see that he would investigate each new person to discover where they would set their boundaries. More than once, a person who could not convey the integrity of their spatial boundaries was rewarded with a nip. During this time, I fully realized the difficulty of communicating to a horse where the boundaries should be, when the visitor themselves did not own the power to set boundaries. I will always remember Tankha's first session as a therapeutic helper in my practice.
A nine year old boy, we'll call him Nate, was referred to me for acting out in a "sexually aggressive" manner at school, intimidating other children into exposing themselves, and talking to them in sexually explicit terms. Nate was all boy, bold and charming with a brilliant smile. I also recognized that he had a marked tendency to tell others just what he thought they expected. Several times during the intake process I watched Nate's mother speak to him about "boundaries", and I could see he had little idea what she was talking about.
Nate's face lit up when I told him that one member of my herd was also a growing boy, just like Nate himself (Tankha was about 6 months old at that time). After meeting the other horses, we walked over to the pasture where Frieda and Tankha were grazing. Tankha, of course, immediately came to the fence, friendly and engaged. So cute. So appealing. Nate was delighted as Tankha nuzzled him through the fence. Nate and I stood there talking for awhile, and I sensed Tankha's mood. He was pretty mellow on this sunny autumn afternoon. Taking a calculated risk, I asked Nate if he would like to go inside the pasture. "Sure!"
Well, I knew what would happen and it did. Under my close and watchful eye, and with subtle signals to Tankha not to nip, that colt nuzzled the boy up and down in a most friendly fashion! I'm quite sure Nate felt somewhat undressed himself that day. It only took about 30 seconds for Nate to gasp in a breathless voice, "Can we go back on the other side of the fence?" Now we began to talk boundaries in a way that Nate could understand. Nate went on to work with the older horses, who taught him how to negotiate and maintain boundaries in relationships where the boundaries are less fixed and much less obvious than a fence.
In working with Tankha to be respectful of people, I noticed a tendency in his responses that disturbed me. Often, when he was in a "nippy" mood, he needed quite a bit of correction and shaping behavior. But if my corrections got too sharp, too rigid, he would sometimes bite himself, and I mean hard! A couple of times in my life I have met horses that self-mutilated, biting chunks out of their own hide in response to stress. I knew I did not want Tankha moving in the direction of this horrible habit. I had to watch carefully that others exercised care and discernment in their boundary work with Tankha. I even had to fire one barn helper who couldn't seem to modulate her "expert horse trainer" persona even though her too sharp corrections provoked this anxious and self-destructive tendency in my young horse.
It is fascinating to watch how Tankha learns increasing discernment about people's personal boundaries, and how he teaches people to define their boundaries in ways that are firm but flexible enough to fit the situation. He has learned to nuzzle without nipping. He has learned that sometimes people don't even want nuzzling! As Tankha matures, he gains savvy about boundaries and growing confidence in his own self-control. Still, he shows anxiety in the presence of people who think that they will "teach him a lesson he won't forget". If they will let him, this teacher with a bright coppery coat can teach them how to be consistent, firm and flexible, conveying the integrity of their personal space with softness and grace. |
|
| Back to top of page
|
Soul Work with Horses (cont)
Coming out of the trailer, he whinnied to surrounding horses. Jericho backed when I asked him to go forward. He jigged almost the entire way, jumped at every mailbox and suspicious horse-eating bush. I honestly don't know how we got back in one piece.
A friend told me about a great natural horsemanship trainer so I decided that, since this horse was a bit more than I had bargained for, I'd better get some professional help. With this trainer's help Jericho and I learned about groundwork and horse-human relationship building. My idea of 'groundwork' as a kid was grooming (before you rode) and walking the horse to cool it down (after you rode), so what I learned to do with Jericho was quite new for me. It worked amazingly well and he responded wonderfully. I discovered that Jericho was a very quick learner who appreciated patience, consistency, very clear cues and a calm, confident leader.
During Leigh's workshop, I had a reflective session with Leigh's co-facilitator, Karin. The body sensation that came to me was (and I giggled when I said it out loud) "Gas! I feel... bloated." I wasn't sure how to interpret that other than to think that I had eaten too much at lunch earlier in the day. When asked, I said that my wish for Jericho then, who was happily munching the lush spring grass in the pasture, was to come to me during the session. I wanted him to choose to be with me over enjoying the pasture grass!
We walked toward him; he ignored me and kept munching away. After a while, I decided to sit down on the grass near him. Karin approached and we talked about what I was feeling. I was overcome with emotions. Time was a major theme in what came to my mind. I felt like I was in some kind of transition. I wanted desperately to spend less time at my job and more time with my family and animals. There just never seemed to be enough time. Then, suddenly, Jericho was there, pawing at the ground beside me! Had we been in an arena, I would have clearly recognized the signal, but in the pasture, it seemed out of context, so I missed what it meant. I turned to Karin and said, "What do you make of that?" and suddenly, Jericho was lying down beside us in the grass! I was so amazed and quickly exclaimed, "Wow! He never does that at home. I rarely ever see him lie down, let alone sit still with me so near him... except that one time when he had colic..." And then suddenly I was worried. I looked at him critically, listening to his breath which sounded a little labored, and touching his belly, which rumbled. I stood up but he did not join me. He just laid there with his eyes half closed while I wondered if he was in pain or simply resting. I decided to try to get him up but he resisted at first. When he finally got up, we put him in the other pasture to get him off the fresh green grass. The rest of the afternoon, we watched for further signs of colic and luckily there were none.
I was shocked at how quick I was able to dismiss the magic of the moment and attribute his behavior to colic (something negative and health-related). I think perhaps it was because of what I felt in my gut when we first started the reflective session - I felt bloated and perhaps I thought he felt that way too. Perhaps he did (which is why he stopped eating), but why would he choose to come to me at that exact moment that I released all that emotion and started talking about wanting to spend more time with my animals and family? What was he trying to tell me? That he wants to spend time with me too?
It has been more than two years since that wonderful moment in the spring sunshine with my horse and I am still asking myself, "What was he trying to tell me?" As I reflect now on the experience and all that I have learned in the two years since that day, I think it was even more basic than him wanting to spend time with me or showing his trust in me. I think it was simply one soul reaching out to another and saying, "I recognize you." In yoga, we place our palms together at our hearts and say, "Namaste," which means, "The light in my soul acknowledges the light in your soul." That inter-species recognition and connection is what keeps me coming back to the barn even during those rainy cold Western Washington winters.
Samantha (Sam) Heath-Lange
Participant HEAL Facilitator Training Program for Equine-Facilitated Learning
Sam currently owns a boarding and riding facility in North Bend, WA, and a horse property in Lake Stevens, WA, where her personal horses are kept. For more information, call 206-979-5963.
|
|
|
