Creative Edge Focusing E-Newsletter

DEVELOPING THE "HABIT OF FELT SENSING":

Actual Instructions for Focusing Partnership Exchange and First Ten Practice Group Meetings

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director                                Week Two

Starting Your Own Listening/Focusing Partnership or Group
 
Intuitive Focusing can be practiced alone. But many people learn Focusing more easily in the presence of a Focused Listener. And, when people practice Listening/Focusing as a mutual exchange of turns, in Focusing Partnerships, Groups/Teams, and Focusing Communities, additional benefits of mutual support, collaboration, and community building occur. See The Creative Edge Pyramid for description of these various methods for applying Listening and Focusing as mutual help. 
 
Below you will find instruction (including free Chapter downloads from the manual Focusing In Community: Starting A Listening/Focusing Support Group (Focusing en Comunidad) and encouragement for starting your own, local Listening/Focusing Practice Group. Click here to read Week One: Starting A Listening/Focusing Practice Group, including links to Free Downloads of Introduction from the manual, Focusing in Community, in English and Spanish. This Introduction gives many suggestions for finding that one first person to exchange Focusing Partnership and/or how to start a core practice group.

FIRST TEN PRACTICE GROUP SESSIONS

 
I promised that this week I would give free download of Chapter Three of the manual, Focusing in Community (Focusing en Comunidad), telling you exactly how to do the actual exchange of Listening/Focusing Partnership Exchange: exactly what the Focuser does, and exactly what the Listener does. And here it comes! But, first, I want to present an outline for the First Ten Sessions of a practice group, in case you want to go beyond exchanging turns with one person and build a small group. These appear at the end of Chapter Three, but I wanted to highlight them here so that you could see that this is really, really simple, really possible.
 
You can do this, start your own self-help group. And, of course, if you want more formal help, you can take a Listening/Focusing Level 1 and 2 Class, learning the basic skills from a Certified Focusing Professional. Links to finding those classes internationally are at the end of this e-newsletter. So, from the end of Chapter Three (after this, you'll get the link that completely explains the four types of response eluded to here: Pure Reflection, Asking For More, Focusing Invitations, and Personal Sharings):
 

Instructions for Small Group Practice (The Listening Exchange)

 

Step 1 :Round-Robin Practice:  Start with a small group of people (four to six).

 

Listening/Focusing Turns: Go around in a circle, one person focusing in and saying something from what she is feeling (an important issue in her life or just how she is feeling right then about being there, doing this sharing), the person to the right of her saying back what she says, the listenee checking these words inside and saying what comes next, the listener reflecting that. Go back and forth in this way about three times.  If the listenee seems to have run out of things to say in less than three steps, the listener can try asking her to "say more" about some part of it that seemed important.

 

      AT THIS EARLY STAGE, STICK WHITH "PURE REFLECTIONS" AND "ASKING FOR MORE"

 

It's important not to move on to Focusing Invitations and Personal Sharings until everyone is well-practiced at just hearing what the other is saying and at just holding on to a feeling sense and checking words reflected against it. 

 

Feedback: At the end of the turn (about five minutes), first the listenee, and then the listener, say a little about how the experience felt, what felt good, what wasn't quite right.  Other people in the group can comment or give suggestions from the readings, but avoid getting into too much discussion or argument about what happened.  The point is to practice, not to get distracted into intellectual conversation (which is all too easy!). 

 

Continue around the circle until everyone has had a turn at both roles.  Your group can repeat Step One as often as you like or until you feel ready to move on to Step Two.  Step One takes about one-and-one-half hours with four to six people.  I would suggest doing it at least three or four times.

 

Step 2 : Dyads

 

Pair off in twos and spread out to exchange fifteen minute turns, using just Pure Reflection and Asking For More when the person seems to have run out of things to say. Try out using a Focusing Invitation.  Come back together as a group and discuss how it went, where you had trouble, what new things you learned.  Consult readings, or memory of things read, for answers to questions.  Repeat as often as wanted or needed.

 

Step 3: Triads

 

Alternatively, pair off in threes. This is an ideal learning structure, since the third person can act as an observer. Split up the time equally, allowing 10 minute between turns for feedback. Each person takes a turn as listener, listenee, and observer. The observer also keeps time, giving a five-minute warning before the end of a turn.

 

At the end of a turn, each person gives short feedback, First the listenee says how the turn was for him/her - what was helpful, what could have been different. Then the listener says how it was to be the listener - good feelings from following the others journey, anxiety about remembering, etc. Then, the observer gives feedback, using Table 3.4., Feedback Sheet For Listening Turns, as a guide.

 

Step 4: Focusing Partnerships

 

When you feel ready or interested, pair off in twos who will get together sometime during the week to exchange one-half hour turns.  In these turns, listeners can try out Focusing Invitations and Personal Sharings as well as Pure Reflection and Asking For More, but always with the emphasis on helping the listenee to stay with her "felt sense," and make words for it.  The listenee needs to be sure to go back to Pure Reflection for several steps after each Personal Sharing or Focusing Invitations.

 

Step 5: Focusing Group Meetings

 

When you come together to do Listening/Focusing turns in a small group (set aside two hours), split up the time so that each person will have an equal amount for a listening turn, with five to ten minutes additional in between each turn, for feedback and comments from others besides the two.  Take turns keeping time, ending people's turns on schedule, warning them a minute or two before the end, and moving on to the next turn after limited discussion. Chapter 7.2 gives a format for a group meeting.

 

Don't get side-tracked into a lot of discussion with no time for doing.  Know that a person can stop at the end of her turn, even if she has been working on heavy feelings.  During turns, allow no input from others in the group. At the end of each turn, anyone in the group can say what they saw, ask questions, or offer warm support for the work done.

 

Option:  If there are more than four people, or if each person wants a longer turn, you may decide to split into triads and share turns within these, again dividing time equally and making sure that each person who wants to gets a chance both at listening and being listened to.  The third person can serve as an observer, giving feedback at the end of the turns. The following page gives a feedback sheet which you can use as a guide when you are observing listening turns (Table 3.4).

 

It is also a good idea to begin turns with some short, group Focusing Instructions (Chapter Four gives a thorough introduction to Focusing).  The instructions can be read to the whole group by one person.  In general, they give everyone a chance to step out of the tensions of the day and to choose an issue or a feeling they would like to work on.  Table 3.5 gives some short, pre-listening turn Focusing Instructions.

 

Once you have established your listening exchanges you should meet to exchange turns once a week for at least ten weeks.  Since you will be continuing to read the manual and to learn new skills, you might want to schedule in one-half to one hour of time at your listening exchange for discussion of additional chapters of the manual.

 
Finding Your First Person Or Core Group 
 
And just an easy reminder from last week's lesson, if you haven't yet taken that first step of finding one person or a small group to start practicing with:
 
Beginning your Listening/Focusing Practice Group can be as easy as finding one other person to share the Self-Help Package (or with Spanish manual) with. You will have a manual download in English or Spanish giving explicit instructions, two 2-CD sets explaining the basic philosophy and including many Focusing Exercises you can use to begin your meetings, and a two-hour DVD with four different demonstrations of being a Focused Listener while someone else is using Intuitive Focusing. All for the introductory price of $39 US!!!
 
Not ready to commit to a purchase? You can start by downloading the free PDF files (or in Spanish) of the Introduction to the manual which gives many suggestions for finding people for your practice group. And next week you can download Chapter Three, explicit instructions for the first ten meetings of your LIstening/Focusing exchange.
 
CLICK HERE FOR A LINK AT CREATIVE EDGE FOCUSING WHERE YOU CAN DOWNLOAD THE ENTIRE "INTRODUCTION," IN ENGLISH OR SPANISH, AS A FREE PDF FILE.
 
AND/OR CLICK HERE TO VIEW A COMPLETE DESCRIPTION AND TO CONSIDER PURCHASING THE ENTIRE SELF-HELP PACKAGE FOR $39 (OR MANUAL DOWNLOAD ALONE FOR $5), WITH MULTI-MEDIA SUPPORT.
 
It is my hope that, before the end of this four-week cycle, you will have found at least one other person to practice Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening with as the beginning of your own local practice group. The manual chapter gives many suggestions about how to find your first one or more people, how to present the idea, how to demonstrate the skills.
 
BUT ONLY YOU CAN TAKE THAT FIRST STEP OF FINDING SOMEONE, JUST THAT ONE, FIRST PERSON. From then on, you and your partner can support each other in enlarging the group, if you want.
 
You can get online support and answers to your questions as you try to proceed in the Creative Edge Practice e-group at http://yahoogroups.com/group/creativeedgepractice .
 QUICK LINKS TO E-SUPPORT, CLASSES, BLOG, ARTICLES, ETC.
 
Two Yahoo E-Groups, Creative Edge Practice and Creative Edge Collaboration, for Ongoing Support and Learning
 
 
Self-Help Package, CDs, DVD, manual English and espanol
 
Experiential Focusing Therapy manual
 
Certification Programs: Consultant/Helping Professional : Now with option of Structured Level 1-4 Listening/Focusing Training With Ruth Hirsch followed by 10 supervision sessions with Dr. McGuire. Contact Dr. McGuire for information on this NEW option
About Creative Edge Focusing (TM) 
 
Mission: bring Core Skills of Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening, and The Creative Edge Pyramid of applications from individual to interpersonal to organizational, to all audiences throughout the world.
 
Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director
Location: Beaver Lake in Rogers, AR
These materials are offered purely as self-help skills. In providing them, Dr. McGuire is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.
Creative Edge Focusing (TM)
Dr. Kathy McGuire
Director