Creative Edge Focusing E-Newsletter

Instant "Ahah!"s #3:  Passive Listening Turns: Stop Argument.

 Does Passive Listening Work? --                                                                  
 
Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director                                Week Two

Does Passive Listening Work?

 

Did you have a chance to try Passive Listening turns this week? If so, what was your experience? Please email me or CEF Practice e-group, if you have joined.

 
If you just joined this e-course, see last week's  Instant "Ahah!" #3: Passive Listening Turns Save the World? for an introduction and example of this exercise. 

 

Do you think that everyone could learn this simple protocol starting as children, in school? Do you think it would work, e.g., that, not allowed to interrupt each other, people would "hear" something different that would soften their opposing positions?

 

Reminds me of the Gestalt Two-Chair procedure where, even for intrapsychic conflict resolution, one has uninterrupted turns for each side, expecting a "softening."

 

And, of course, the Quakers have used a no-interruption sharing circle for decision making and conflict resolution for decades.

 

And, purportedly, at least some Native American tribes used a similar Sacred Circle for conflict resolution and decision making, going around and around the circle for days if needed.

 

And almost every women's group I have joined uses this Sharing Circle as a meeting format, each person having an uninterrupted turn.

 

And, of course, all 12-step meetings have this "no-cross talk" structure.

 

Why? Because without interruption:

 
    (a)  
the speaker can refer to the fresh Creative Edge,  the bodily-felt    sense
and create new, fresh words and images out of this "intuitive feel" of the whole situation
 

(b)   the listener can really "hear" what the other is saying, instead of concentrating on grabbing a turn to have their say.

 

Remember, you want to review Instant "Ahah!" #3 Passive Listening Turns with your significant others when there is no argument, and find a timer, a place, and a neutral signal, like "popcorn," that everyone will recognize means "sit down, start the timer, and take turns."

 

Please email questions and comments to Kathy or to CEF Practice e-group, if you have joined. Thanks!

Creative Edge Focusing E-Newsletter Weekly Support: Week Two 
 
For four weeks, we practice one Instant "Ahah!,", one Relaxation Exercise, and one Getting A Felt Sense Exercise, with e-reminders and tips each week. Our purpose:Helping you incorporate Listening and Focusing into your everyday life.

This month: From Instant "Ahah!" Mini-Manual, p. 10, #3.Passive Listening: Stopping Arguments With Friends, Partners, Children.

(Newcomers, you can start with any issue and, in a year, you will have practiced all the exercises)
"Relaxation" and "Getting A Felt Sense" Exercises for the Month
 
Later in the week, you will receive two other e-reminders, one for Relaxation Exercise #3. The Forest (p. 5 in Complete Focusing Instructions) and Getting A Felt Sense: Clearing A Space (p.10), the download free at the E-Support and Complete Focusing Instructions download icon)
 
If you order the Self-Help Package, you can use the Intuitive Focusing CD to follow Dr. McGuire as she speaks these exercises.
About Creative Edge Focusing (TM) 
 
Mission: bring Core Skills of Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening, and The Creative Edge Pyramid of applications from individual to interpersonal to organizational, to all audiences throughout the world.
 
Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director
Location: Beaver Lake in Rogers, AR
These materials are offered purely as self-help skills. In providing them, Dr. McGuire is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.
Creative Edge Focusing (TM)
Dr. Kathy McGuire
Director