Creative Edge Focusing E-Newsletter

INSTANT "AHAH!" # 10: FOCUSING ON SPIRITUALITY

AGAPE: The Spiritual Love Of The Other

  Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director                                Week Four

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT
 
For four weeks, we practice an actual exercise in three different categories: An Instant "Ahah!" to integrate into your every day life at work and at home, a Felt Sensing exercise to practice this step of Focusing or an Interpersonal Focusing exercise, and a Complete Focusing Session. Actually doing the exercise which  arrives in each e-newsletter insures that you can call upon these new skills when needed!
 
This week three of a four week cycle. We are applying Gendlin's Six-Step Focusing process to spiritual experiences. If you are just joining us and have never learned Focusing, probably best to start by reading the introduction to Instant "Ahah!" #1: Focusing -- Find Out What Is Bothering You, which lays out the six steps.

EXPERIENCING THE SACRED

Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening can be used purposefully to "attend to," "sit with," "articulate" the "intuitive feel" of spiritual experiences. But more importantly, the practice of Listening/Focusing opens our eyes to seeing the Sacred around us by encouraging attention to those moments when the Sacred enters our lives.If you have just joined us, click here to read the rest of  the first e-newsletter introducing this cycle, Instant Ahah # 10: Experiencing the Sacred Week One , Week Two: Spirituality and Religion, Week Three: Biospirituality --- The Body As A Doorway To Spirit .

Let me make it clear that Focusing does not HAVE TO BE a spiritual experience for you or anyone. I am only pointing out that, just as one might decide to use Intuitive Focusing specifically upon a Creative Project or an Interpersonal Situation, one can choose to turn Focusing -attention to a Spiritual Experience.

AGAPE: THE SPIRITUAL LOVE OF THE OTHER 

 
Experiencing God in The Other
 
For me, intense spiritual experiences of the love known as Agape happen regularly through the experience of exchanging Listening/Focusing turns in a Focusing Partnership or a Listening/Focusing Community. Through the use of Focused Listening, I am able to set aside my own stereotypes and prejudices and really enter into the world of the other person.  In these moments of empathy, when the Focuser touches upon her deepest values and most profound truths, as the Listener, I am often moved and touched by the absolute uniqueness, yet universal humanness, of the Other.
  
In these moments, often with a sheen of tears in our eyes, it seems that the boundaries separating one person from the other drop, and we stand together in a shared, sacred space. I believe this is what is meant by experiencing The Christ Within The Other or Universal Oneness or Martin Buber's "I-Thou" vs. "I-It" experience. For me, there is no more sacred experience.
 
Here is how I recently described this experience of Agape during  Listening/Focusing Partnership Exchange:
 
"I like Listening/Focusing better than Focusing Alone because, when people share Listening/Focusing turns, they actually build up Love between each other, the Love of "the unique otherness" of the other which is Agape, which is "seeing Christ in the other person," which is Buber's "I /Thou vs. I / It experience."  I am way more interested in promoting a method that creates Love in the world than I am in any individual's personal growth.
 
And so I like to spread Listening/Focusing partnership, but even more important, Listening/Focusing groups, and, most importantly, Listening/Focusing Communities. In a Community, there is Listening/Focusing for conflict resolution and for Win/Win decision making, two more HUGE VAST ways to create love rather than conflict, prejudice,stereotyping.
 
The experience of Love being created? I am Listening to another. That person touches down, often, into a place of tears, a place of deepest, most profound meaning for them. I am also moved to tears of empathy. In that moment, it is "as if" the boundary between the other person and myself dissolves or broadens or merges --- I am still there, and they, but there is also this Togetherness --- and, in it this feeling of Love --- my heart swelling, sometimes tears in my eyes, and a sense that Something Sacred has entered into the room. Something beyond the two of us, and something with qualities of Awe and Grace and the kind of Love that God or a Universal positive force --- well, something like that!!!
 
And, this Love lasts. I am now bonded to this person. In a Focusing Community, out of this Love, people take each other to doctor's appointment, sit with each other through chemo therapy, help each other move furniture, celebrate each other's Birthdays, show up at a meeting just to hear each person Check In, each person say their News and Goods from the week. I do think that this mutual "touching into tears" may actually be a crucial, almost physiological/spiritual part of this "melting and merging." 
 
It is possible that the quality of sharing in my Focusing Communities is different or deeper than in other Focusing Groups because of the emphasis I place on teaching Focusers and Listeners alike to move toward, move into, welcome, the places that start with a shimmer of tears in the eyes, and, if the Focuser stops and "senses in" right there, at the "place of tears," hugely deep meanings unfold.
 
It is that, building community (not just partnership) in a world of isolation and mistrust and hate, that I love above all else, and it is Listening, more than Focusing Alone, that allows this to happen, really, really predictably. Creating Love predictably! What could be better! You can take any group of people, no matter how polarized and hating, and, if they will do Listening/Focusing turns with each other, seeing each other's mutual Uniqueness-yet-Commonality, they will find themselves loving each other, having deep compassion for each other, and being willing to take action steps to help each other (at least, this is my belief! Carl Rogers has done more of these actual world-peace making gatherings than I. Mine have been local Focusing Communities --- but six of these over 30 years, all creating love and bonding, each lasting 5-10 years)."
 
See articles in PDF:
 
Click here to see the whole Experiencing The Sacred Interest Area and scroll down to find Ten Ways to Bring Focusing into Spiritual Communities
 
EXERCISE: FOCUSING UPON A SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE OF AGAPE

 (You can read these to yourself now, download them for repeated use, read them into a tape recorder for playback; leave at least one minute of silence between each instruction)

 
If you need a different kind of Focusing Exercise for where you are today, please click here to access the e-newsletter archives and choose any Focusing Instruction that fits for you.

 

As last week, you will choose an experience to spend Intuitive Focusing time on that had spiritual meaning for you, a moment when you might have said that you were experiencing God or The Sacred or Something Profound - often, this can be something that touched you or moved you, perhaps bringing a sheen of tears to your eyes. It might be a piece of music, a prayer or passage from the Bible, a poem, a sunset, the smile of a child, the touch of a friend.

 
Perhaps this week you could bring to mind an experience of Agape that you have had: A time when you felt a special closeness to another person which had a spiritual feel to it

 

By spending time with "the intuitive feel of it all," you are going to make more words and meanings for what is Sacred, to you. Please find a comfortable chair in a quiet place, and give yourself at least 30 minutes for Intuitive Focusing:

 

Okay --- first, just get yourself comfortable --- feel the weight of your body on the chair --- loosen any clothing that is too tight ---

(One minute)

Spend a moment just noticing your breathing --- don't try to change it --- just notice the breath going in --- and out ---

(One minute --- )

Now, notice where you have tension in your body (pause) ---

(One minute --- )

Now, imagine the tension as a stream of water, draining out of your body through your fingertips and feet (Pause) ---

(One minute --- )

Let yourself travel inside of your body to a place of peace ---

(One minute --- )

Now, bring to mind an event or piece of music or art or religious symbol that felt Sacred, or had a spiritual significance for you. If it fits for you, look for a time when you experienced the special closeness of Agape with another person (pause) --- Take your time to find a powerful, meaningful symbol or event ---

(One minute or more --- )

Think about it or get a mental image of it --- take your time to choose something that matters to you ---

(One minute --- )

Now, try to set aside all of your thoughts about this experience, and, as you carry a mental image of the event or symbol in your mind,  just wait and see what comes in the center of your body, around your heart/chest area,  in response (pause) --- not words, but the intuitive feel of that whole thing  ---

(One minute or more --- )

Now, carefully try to find words or an image for that intuitive feel --- Go carefully back and forth between any words and the intuitive feel of the whole thing until you find words or an image that are just right for it ---

(One minute --- )

Now, gently ask yourself, "What was so important for me about that?" or, "What about that touched me or filled me with awe?", and wait, at least a minute, to see what comes in the center of your body, the place where you feel things ---

(One minute or more --- )

Again, carefully find words or an image that exactly fit that felt experiencing ---

(One minute or more --- )

Now, ask yourself, "And what was so Sacred to me about that, what do I mean by 'Sacred'?" and, again, wait quietly, for at least a minute, to see what comes in the center of your body, without words, just the "feel" of  "the whole thing" about "Sacred."

(One minute or more --- )

And find some words or an image to capture that "whole thing," The Sacred ---

(One minute or more --- )

Now, ask yourself, "Does that capture what I mean by 'spiritual'?",  and, again, don't answer from your head, what you already know, but wait, as long as a minute, for an answer to come in the center of your body, your wordless intuition, The Creative Edge ---

(One minute or more --- )

Again, carefully find words or an image for that, and check, "Is that it?" ---

(One minute --- )

If the answer is "Yes," a release of bodily tension, a sense of "rightness," then turn your attention to noticing any "spiritual" experiences that are present around the edges of this experience, right now --- feelings of Sacredness, of floating in Oneness, of Awe or Gratitude, of being moved or touched with tears --- stay with these immediate spiritual feelings as long as you like ---

 (One minute or more --- )

Try to find an image or other symbol or gesture that might serve as a "handle" for this particular spiritual feeling, something that would remind you of how to find your way to this place again, at any time during the day when you want to revisit the Experience of the Sacred ---

(One minute or more)

And, when you are finished, come back into the room.

 If the answer is "No," your body remains tense, then, set aside everything you have already thought and tried and ask your body, The Creative Edge, again: "What is Spirituality for me, and where might I find it?", and, again, wait, as long as a minute or more, to see what comes in the center of your chest, an intuitive "feel" for the whole thing ---

(One minute or more --- )

Take a moment, again, to carefully find words or an image for whatever has come ---

(One minute or more --- )

Keep at this as long as you are comfortable, asking an open-ended question, waiting for an intuitive sense of "the whole thing" to emerge, looking for words or an image or even a gesture or action step that fits the intuitive feel "exactly."

(One minute or more --- )

But, if no clear "felt" experiencing of Spirituality  arises, just remind yourself that, by spending Focusing time sitting with The Creative Edge, you have added energy and started a new living-forward, and, especially if you continue to hold "the feel of it all" on the back-burner of your mind, later something new will likely pop up ---

(One minute)

Appreciate yourself and your body for taking time with this, trusting that taking time is the important thing - new experiences can then arise later.

(One minute or more --- )

 

   Remember, Intuitive Focusing is often learned more easily in the company of a Focused Listener. Go to Creative Edge Focusing ™ at www.cefocusing.com to find many resources, from self-help groups to Creative Edge Focusing Consultants for individual Coaching or Classes and Workshops.

 QUICK LINKS TO E-SUPPORT, CLASSES, BLOG, ARTICLES, ETC.
 
Two Yahoo E-Groups, Creative Edge Practice and Creative Edge Collaboration, for Ongoing Support and Learning
 
 
Self-Help Package, CDs, DVD, manual English and espanol
 
Experiential Focusing Therapy manual
 
Certification Programs: Consultant/Helping Professional : Now with option of Structured Level 1-4 Listening/Focusing Training With Ruth Hirsch followed by 10 supervision sessions with Dr. McGuire. Contact Dr. McGuire for information on this NEW option
About Creative Edge Focusing (TM) 
 
Mission: bring Core Skills of Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening, and The Creative Edge Pyramid of applications from individual to interpersonal to organizational, to all audiences throughout the world.
 
Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director
Location: Beaver Lake in Rogers, AR
These materials are offered purely as self-help skills. In providing them, Dr. McGuire is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.
Creative Edge Focusing (TM)
Dr. Kathy McGuire
Director