SAYING YES
    MARIANIST REFLECTION                                              JULY 2008
FREEDOM TO MAKE CHOICES
Susan Terbay

Susan Handle Terbay is a Lay Marianist but more importantly she is a mother. She is also a lifelong peace activist with a son serving in Afghanistan. Sue has written for CatholicMom.com (http://www.catholicmom.com/terbay.htm) about many topics including the anguish of having a soldier child.



Whenever our children go about doing their 'firsts' - either walking or riding a bike, going to school, going on their first date, driving alone, going to college; - the list is endless, we as moms sort of hold our breaths as they make their attempts and when that is accomplished and they are back home or are safe, we then start to 'breathe normal' again.   Now imagine having your beloved child walk out the door and go to war and there's nothing you can do to stop it.  Your child's job is that of a soldier and you love and support them in their effort and yet it doesn't take away the fear and uncertainty as they leave.   So you hold your breath, you pray, you continue to hold your breath and you fight to stay functional and upbeat for everyone else while you continue to hold your breath.   You wait forever for that door to open again and hear those beautiful words, 'hi mom, I'm home!'    
 
So many mothers in the world go to bed weeping, screaming into their pillows, sobbing with emptiness inside their souls and sometimes it feels like no one cares, no one wants to know and it is a very lonely state of being.   Mothers are always looked to be the strength in the family, the one who holds the family together and the one who is the source of life.  My question for everyone else is who is going to help mothers continue to be the strength, the glue that binds the family and the source of life when she herself finds each day a struggle.

Sue asked her son if he would care if she spoke out against the war in Iraq. Her son responded that she had a right to do so and, as Sue writes, he stated "he would go to the fires of hell for me to be able to do so."  Clearly, this is a man on a mission to protect his country and the freedom it promises.


So that we can love God freely, God has given us a free will much like Sue has done for her son. It is God's desire that we use our free will so that every choice we make is a choice to love God. Certainly some of our choices are not loving and cause God anguish. God may anguish even more when we make choices to love that put us in harms way. So how are we to chose? How do we know God's will?

Blessed William Joseph Chaminade laid out a three prong approach to ascertain God's will.

First pray.
Second, listen for what the Spirit is saying.
Third, heed the experience of others, especially others who are not like you.

This process will take time. But the investment in time will make you more confident when you choose to say "Yes!"

peace and love,
aj

Contact Information
If you would like information about the Marianist Family visit the website of Marianist Lay Network of North America, The Society of Mary, Marianist Sisters or  The Marianist Family

If you are interested in becoming a part of the Marianist Family, e-mail  AJ Wagner. (President of Marianist Lay Network of North America.)


If you have a suggestion or a comment or if you have a story for Saying Yes, send it to AJ

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