When in Doubt

by Bradley McMath

Ever had a story no one believed? You know, the typical "big fish" story? Mine goes back to the summer of 2007 when my two brothers and I headed off to backpack around Europe. There were many places we wanted to go, sites to see, and things to do, but one stood out---joining in the annual Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, Spain.

Roaming about Europe, we heard that touching a bull during the run would bring good fortune. Well, good luck or not...CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! But being typical skeptical older brothers, they brushed it off, refusing to believe I'd do it. I was now more determined than ever to touch a bull. Finally the day came and we arrived in Spain for the San Fermin Festival, celebrated by the famous Running of the Bulls. This would be our capstone, the grand finale, the culminating event of our trip.

Having the anticipation of a child on Christmas Eve, sleep was impossible. So at 5 a.m. we headed down for the run. Not surprisingly, we were the first ones there, but it wasn't long before others joined us. A loudspeaker warned against trying to stay together (turns out being trampled by a crowd is far more dangerous than the bulls). But our strategy was simple---run just the last little stretch and into the arena.

Soon the bulls were thundering down the street, literally shaking the ground! The mass of people parted like the Red Sea, rejoining as the bulls passed. I remember thinking, They are MUCH bigger than they looked on TV!! Then another thought crept into my head...I've missed my chance to touch one. I ran after the bulls and was soon separated from my brothers.

In the arena, the danger (or fun, depending on how you look at it) wasn't over. The big bulls were removed, leaving smaller ones (relatively speaking) to be released for anyone who wanted to touch a bull. This was my chance! As a bull was deciding whom to go after, I summoned my courage and took off. Running past, I gave it a hearty smack on the rear and turned to see if I would be its next target. Luckily I wasn't. I had successfully completed my goal! There was only one issue... neither of my brothers had witnessed the event and there was NO WAY they'd ever believe me.

There was only one solution. I had to get a picture. So with camera in hand, I waited for another chance. Finally as a bull turned away, I sprinted in, firmly placed my hand on its backside, and snapped the photo without ever breaking stride. Now I had my proof and it was time to find my brothers. But true to form, they immediately denied my claim...until I pulled out my picture and they could see with their own eyes.

We often treat God that way. Give me a sign. Show me you're real. I need proof. Though Jesus had done what He had said He was going to do, His disciples were skeptical! Even after seeing miracle upon miracle, Thomas couldn't believe Jesus had risen from the dead...until he saw Him with his own eyes.

Deception exists all around us and we're taught not to believe everything we hear. That's all well and good, but it's the opposite of what we need to really experience God's love: faith. Faith is being certain of what we cannot see (Hebrews 11:1), the cornerstone upon which our relationship with God is built. And it is through faith in Him that we are truly saved.

Peter believed Jesus had the power to allow him to walk on the water simply because Jesus said, Come. What incredible faith! But as he walked out onto the water, he saw the wind and got scared. His faith weakened and he began to sink. The One Peter had just trusted, he now doubted due to a little turbulent weather! How similarly we treat God in our own lives! Believing and praising Him while times are good, then the instant things are difficult, we begin to doubt. God, where are you now!? Do you really exist? Why are you not helping me?

But in our scary times, we must respond just as Peter quickly did. Even in his hesitation of faith, he cried out, Lord, save me! (Matthew 14:30) Immediately Jesus raised him out of the water. My encouragement? In times of darkness, depression, difficulty, and doubt, we can turn to God, call on Him, and He will reward our faith, even when it is weak. For we know, those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles (Isaiah 40:31).