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Jesus defined friend in a unique way. You are my friends if you do what I command. (John 15:14) I have to admit, I always thought that was rather harsh. "You're my friends if you do what I tell you." Imagine going up to people and saying that. They'd probably tell you to get lost, perhaps throw in "If you don't like me for who I am...", and that sort of thing.
I was thinking about relationships recently when I read the following: Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. It was attributed to Theodor Seuss Geisel, more commonly known as Dr. Seuss, the world famous author of children's books. But there are a couple of problems with this.
First, Geisel never said or wrote any part of this statement. Anyone familiar with his life knows he did not believe that. For many years he worked hard to help others. For Geisel, those who disagreed with him did matter and he used his skills and influence to change their minds and attitudes.
(By the way, the quote is from Bernard Baruch. When asked how he determined where everyone sat at his dinner parties, he replied, I never bother about that. Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter. He apparently believed this only for his parties, as he spent a lifetime arguing with those who did mind what he said about ending poverty, promoting the economy, and furthering world peace.)
Another problem with the statement is the result when taken to its logical conclusion. If those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter, then it would seem the only people who matter are those who agree or those who don't care. But that's not actually true. When we take the time to understand what is being said, we find that the focus isn't on others at all. It's on the person speaking.
The logical conclusion then is...the person speaking is the only one who matters. And when only one matters, there can be no relationship, no friendship...nothing.
Maybe that's why many people appear angry with God or Christians in general. They view Jesus' statement as being all about Him, a one-way street, kinda "It's my way or the highway." But as with the quote above, when we take the time to understand what is being said, we find there's more to it.
Jesus was literally God with us. He did not begin His existence 2000 years ago, but has existed from the beginning of all things. He entered this world of sorrow, pain, grief, lies, disease, and betrayal specifically for our benefit. He told us the absolute best way for us to live, speak, act, and treat each other. Everything He did and said was for us. And any deviation from His way ultimately hurts us. There simply is no better way. And then He died so that we could have the opportunity to live with Him forever, where there is no sorrow, pain, grief, lies, disease, or betrayal.
So let's think about this. If all of that is true and we refuse to live, speak, act, and treat each other as Jesus has told us to, how could we possibly be called His friends? Ah, makes more sense now, doesn't it? Jesus wasn't issuing an edict or exerting a sovereign right. He was simply stating fact.
I'm glad that Jesus didn't live by that "mind, don't matter" quote. I'm glad that when I was young and bothered by the things He said, I mattered to Him. And I'm glad that even since I've gotten to know Him, when I mess up and don't do what He's told me to do, I still matter to Him.
I am Jesus' friend. Are you? |
