Re-thinking Regrets

 As I look back at my life and at the mistakes I have made, I am not too bothered by that. In fact, I have learned from most of my mistakes. What used to bother me were the missed opportunities. The times I ran toward comfort instead of trying something new. Not the risks that I took, but the risks that I avoided. Worst of all, I dwelled on that! I "regretted" not grabbing those opportunities, over and over!

At one point, however, it became very clear to me that (1) there is nothing we can do to resuscitate our pasts; therefore (2), regretting is useless. In fact, if we had our lives to live over again most of us would make different decisions about both major and minor things. It's a seductive pastime. However, if we had made those different choices, we would have wound up some place different but still been the same. We'd be the same person in a different situation. And we'd probably have some regrets about those decisions, too.

Therefore, let us not waste our time trying and let us not waste our time worrying about the past ("regretting"). The only thing we can do is to look forward and change our behaviors now for an even better life ahead of us.

Here are a few tips for living for the better:

• Do not regret in company of others! - Unless you are working with a life coach, regret has a whining connotation to it.

• Fear the pressure of peer pressure - Just because everyone else is doing it, doesn't mean it is right for you. Your gut knows what's right, so go with that.

• Learn the difference between impulsivity and risk taking - It's good to be cautious about making a major change in your life, but it's equally bad to be paralyzed by indecision. You can't know exactly how things are going to turn out, but you can hedge your bets. Then make your decision and look forward, never back.

• If you regretted it once, don't regret it again - If you have regrets, it is a clear signal not to make that mistake again. If you are lucky enough for the opportunity to present itself again... Go for it!

In conclusion, today is the time to start living without regrets and to push the limit and reach for the opportunities, which lie ahead of us. Today is the time to look forward, so when you reflect back tomorrow, you shall smile.

And today I shall wrap up this newsletter the same way I wrap up most of my live presentations: with a quote:

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover" - Mark Twain