Conquering Stress

Stress occurs when a person perceives that "demands exceed the personal and social resources the individual is able to mobilize." How stressed someone feels depends on how much damage they think the situation can do them, and how closely their resources meet the demands of the situation.

Because no situation is inherently stressful, it is our perception of the situation that determines the level of stress we feel. Stress can take a major toll on our mental wellbeing, sending us into a downward spiral of negative thinking. Furthermore, our internal emotional warning systems can keep us from encountering great harm. Yet, they tend to err on the side of being overly cautious. Therefore, we can be too harsh on ourselves in ways that can severely undermine self-confidence.

Fortunately, we have it within us to shift our mindset and get us back on track.  The following are steps you might consider: Thought Awareness, Rational Thinking, Positive Thinking, and Seeking Opportunities.

Thought Awareness

Thought awareness is the process by which you observe your thoughts and become aware of what is going through your head. When you fear the future, put yourself down, doubt your abilities, or expect failure, you're engaging in negative thinking. This puts us in a state of mental paralysis.

One effective approach to it is to observe your stream of consciousness as you think about a stressful situation. Do not suppress any thoughts. Instead, be an objective observer who lets them run their course. Write down those stressful thoughts and keep track of when they occur. If difficult past memories arise, write those down as well.

Then, review the ones that are most common and most damaging and use those in the next step: challenging negative thinking with rational thinking.

Rational Thinking

Now, ask yourself whether the thought is reasonable. Does it stand up to fair scrutiny?

As an example, by analyzing your notes, you might identify that you have frequently had the following negative thoughts:

• Feelings of inadequacy.
• An anxiety that things outside your control will undermine your efforts.

You might challenge these negative thoughts in this way:

• Feelings of inadequacy - First things first: Are there, in fact, skills that you need that you do not currently have? If so, how can you obtain the training you need? If you already have the right skill set, have you planned, prepared, and rehearsed appropriately?
• Problems with issues outside your control: In real life, things rarely go exactly as planned. Keep Eisenhower's famous quote in mind, "Plans are worthless. Planning is essential." Have you conducted appropriate contingency planning? Have you thought through and managed all likely risks and contingencies appropriately? If so, you will be well prepared to handle potential problems.
 

Positive Thinking

Then, when stressful thoughts occur, you can counter them with Positive Thinking as follows:

• Feelings of inadequacy: "I am well trained for this. I have the experience, tools, and resources I need. I have thought through and prepared for all possible issues. I can do a superb job."
• Problems with issues outside your control: "We have thought through everything that might reasonably happen and have planned how we can handle all likely contingencies. Everyone is ready to help where necessary. We are very well placed to react flexibly and effectively to unusual events."
 

Seeking Opportunities

Positive Thinking allows you to look at opportunities that the various situations might offer. In the examples above, by successfully overcoming the situations causing the original negative thinking, you will acquire new skills; you will be seen as someone who can handle difficult challenges; and you may open up new life and career opportunities.

In conclusion, being aware of our thoughts and building on our true strengths can clear the clutter in our minds, and create a new structure on which we can build positive futures that challenge the status quo and take us to new heights - heights that we previously would never have allowed ourselves to explore.