Conquering the Fear of Success
Surprisingly, fear of success is as common as fear of failure. It can cause us to lose out on many opportunities in life. When we're too afraid to take risks and move forward on our goals - either consciously or unconsciously - we get stuck in a self-imposed status quo. Let's look at some signs of fear of success, what may cause it, and how to overcome it.
Signs of Fear of Success
- Procrastination: You avoid big projects or decisions, especially those that could lead to recognition.
- Over-Compromising: You frequently disregard your own goals or agenda to avoid conflict in a group, even if that group is your family.
- Self-Sabotage: You undermine your work or dreams by convincing yourself that you're not good enough to achieve them.
- Capitulation: You believe that, if you do achieve success, you won't be able to sustain it. Eventually you'll fail and end up in a worse place from where you started. So you think, "Why bother?"
Causes of Fear of Success
- Catastrophic Thinking: We think of the saying "it's lonely at the top" and fear what success might bring: new enemies, isolation from family and friends, longer working hours
- More Accountability: We're afraid that the higher we climb in life, the further we're going to fall when we make a mistake.
Overcoming Fear of Success
The good news is that you can face your fears by shining a light on them. Take a realistic look at what will happen if you succeed with your goal. If you analyze your fears rationally, you're likely to find that most of those fears fall by the wayside.
Complete this exercise in two parts. First, give a quick answer to these questions.
- How will my friends and family react if I accomplish this goal?
- How will my life change?
- What's the worst that could happen if I do not achieve this goal?
- What's the best that could happen if I do?
- Why do I feel that I don't deserve to accomplish this goal?
- How motivated am I to work toward this goal?
- What am I currently doing to sabotage, or hurt, my own efforts?
- How can I stop those self-sabotaging behaviors?
Next, it's time to break the spell. Answer the questions as if you were a judge. How would an objective party answer the questions? Both the first and second answers are important. Now you have a full perspective of the issue.
If there are real issues, how would you address them? For example, suppose you are undecided about taking a promotion because you're worried that you would be too busy working and that you'd never see your family. You could set a rule for yourself that you'll always be home by 7 p.m. You could tell this to your boss if you're offered the new position.
By creating backup plans that address your fears, you can often eliminate those fears entirely. New opportunities always come with new challenges. Remember that our problems never outweigh the feelings of satisfaction.
