P
IVOTAL CHANGES ~ LIFE AND BUSINESS COACHING
 
 
 

When the Status Quo is Not an Option


FEBRUARY 2012
 

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'When people realize their life is almost over and look back clearly on their life, one thing they would change is this: 'I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me'.

Rachel Andrews, author

 

Just a few days ago, I had lunch with a good friend - one of the best professionals I know in his field. Recounting a recent experience, he explained his struggle with the "interview game" with all its "rules", pretense, etiquette, etc. He wanted to be able to just be himself and be rewarded for that. When it was time for our goodbyes, he asked me how I always found the time to meet with him. My reply was, "You are one of the most authentic people I have ever met."

 

Looking at yourself in the mirror in the morning, have you ever felt as if you were putting on a mask and slowly morphing into someone you believe will be more acceptable to your boss, colleagues, friends, and partner? This is not the real you, but a character you play in public who happens to look like you and have the same name as you.  

 

The antithesis of that is the ability to be authentic - true to oneself with the capacity to make self-honoring choices and then stand firmly in who we are in our core. Therefore, this month's newsletter is about being yourself and showing others the real you.

 

Sincerely,

 

Roberto Noce, P.E., B.S., M.S., MBA

Founder

Pivotal Changes ~ Life and Business Coaching  

  

Living True: The Authentic Life

 

 

So, what is Authenticity?

I offer you one definition: it is being free to live our life according to our own values and goals, rather than those of others. When we allow the pressure to fit in or to be accepted cramp us, we hide our true self. No one really knows who we are behind the mask we show others. However, being honest in all areas encourages us to be our genuine selves and willing to accept the consequences of our actions. When we are doing what we consider to be right, it is much easier to accept accountability for our lives.

 

Why Be Authentic?

It isn't always easy to live authentically. It can mean going against the crowd, being unconventional, and even opening ourselves up to the possibility of being hurt.  But I would submit that the rewards of being authentic are much greater than the potential downside. When we are authentic, there is no need to worry about what we said, didn't say, or even how we acted/reacted. Living authentically means we can trust ourselves and our motivations implicitly.

 

What are the Benefits of Being Authentic?

  • Trust and respect: People will respect you for standing by your values and beliefs.
  • Integrity: With authenticity also comes integrity. Being authentic means you never have to second-guess yourself. Who you are, what you do, and what you believe in - all of these align perfectly.
  • Realizing potential: When you trust yourself and do what you know is right, you can realize your full potential in life.
  • Confidence and self-esteem: When you're being genuine and doing the right thing, you can trust yourself to make the right decisions. This leads to higher self-confidence and self-esteem.
  • Less stress: Above all else, being true to yourself is far less stressful than trying to be someone you are not.

Masquerade parties are fun, but everyone takes the mask off at some time during the party. You can choose to be your real self or - at some point - life will call your bluff.

 

Keep in mind that the rewards of being authentic cannot be measured until we make it our goal to do just that. The inertia of inauthenticity can make it seem like the safest option. But in the long run, there's no denying that this is, in fact, your real life.  The only question is: Will you choose to live it as the real you?