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THE PERFECT GIFT
Start the New Year by investing in yourself or making the perfect gift to a loved one or a friend: For each new client I will donate $100 to the Multiple Sclerosis Society. Your referral gets 10% off any package and you get a $50 AMEX gift card. |
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"The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we hit it." - Michelangelo Buonarroti
Should I be asked to write a plot for a horror movie, I'd probably show an aspiring person with considerable potential, settling for much less than his/her capabilities, only to wake one day to realize he/she was living a life in the heart-gripping quicksand of compromise. How terrifying that would be.
However, I write newsletters. And this month, I'll write about goal setting. Are you a goal setter? If so - great! If not - then I want to challenge you to get going. Referring to the quote at the beginning of this newsletter, it is in your best interest to aim high. Stretch yourself - dream big. You have the potential, so let's get started. "Status Quo is Not an Option".
Sincerely,
Roberto Noce, P.E., M.S., MBA
Founder
Pivotal Changes ~ Life and Business Coaching
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Standing out, NOT fitting in
First we need to look inward, in a genuine effort to dig deep and explore even the dark shadows that have kept us from succeeding. From there we can take it one step at a time.
HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT 1 (I find this to be a very powerful exercise)
For starters - let's take a walk. Stop what you are doing and let your mind wander down memory lane. Try going back to an earlier time in life when life was simple, more black and white and you had more future ahead of you than past behind you.
Have you arrived yet? Do you see a pleasant picture of yourself? Is it a happy time; a time of bliss where the picture you see is vivid? If not, keep walking until you find a year filled with pictures of you, fresh with the knowledge of a bright future. You were happy then.
What was the occasion and what were you doing? How were you feeling? Write it down.
HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT 2
To be confident in our future, some self-assessment must be done. Otherwise we may set ourselves up with goals that have no bearing on our true life's calling. Conversely, when we precede goal setting with a thorough self-assessment-to the point of knowing, understanding, and believing in whom we are along with what motivates us -we transform elusive dreams into real goals.
I am reminded of that lump of dough my daughter plays with. For to me it is just that - a lump of play-dough. However, my daughter sees a horse, or a ladybug or some fantastic something waiting to be discovered by her imagination and the work of her hands. I see the powerful role she plays in shaping something out of nothing.
Likewise, when I look at my family, my work and myself, I see the role I play. I have had to look deep inside, envision my potential and look for the true "me". Goal setting for myself and my family must be done if I want to look back 10 - 20 years down the road and see how far we've come.
Stop now to write down the factors that make you unique.
Now that we have (1) what brings a sparkle of joy in your eyes and (2) what you truly and uniquely are and want, let's work on your goal setting.
Our "Own" Goals
As well intentioned parents, we tend to push our children toward goals we think would be great for them. Similarly, we may get well intentioned suggestions from peers, friends or a boss. And even though their suggestions may be good ones, unless they are truly ours they will not work.
So, with that in mind, let's refer back to our homework above and confidently follow our hearts to list goals that are truly ours and part of our vision.
Positive Goals
How you think about your goal is intertwined with how you feel about it. Goals that make us feel bad usually get postponed - indefinitely. 'Negative goals' are emotionally unattractive. This is typically the result of focusing on what we don't want (e.g. 'out of shape', 'married to the office') instead of what we do want (e.g. 'health', 'home in time to play outside with my kids'). Reframe negative goals so that they sound positive - and watch the difference it makes!
Realistic Goals
When exploring possible goals, let's unleash our imagination and dream big dreams. Let's also make sure that the goals we choose are realistic and achievable within a set time frame. For instance, if your goal is to climb Kilimanjaro but you haven't exercised regularly since you were in college, next month may not be the best date to book your flight to Tanzania.
Quality not Quantity
When setting goals, we have a fixed amount of time and energy. Then we must prioritize by importance what we want to accomplish over a chosen timeframe. If you have more than three major goals, for example, it will be difficult to achieve all of them in a single year. Don't be afraid to take a multi-year perspective and set your goal this year for one or two steps toward a larger vision. Ensure that you have sufficient time and energy to achieve and relish in those accomplishments.
Focus on Total Wellbeing
Say we've just written our goals for the next year: increase sales by 15%, apply for a promotion, and read one leadership book each month. This is an ambitious but achievable list of goals. However, these goals focus only on our career. Is that totally who we are?
We can't neglect activities that bring us relaxation and joy. Goals like writing a book, competing in a regatta, taking a vacation with the family or remodeling a kitchen might also be incredibly important for our happiness and well-being.
So, when we set our goals, let's make sure we strike the right life balance - careful not to neglect any area of our life and who we are.
Time Management and Progress Monitoring
Often projects take longer than we had originally planned. This can be discouraging to anyone. Time management is truly important in a job well done; even taking time to monitor the progress of your intended vision. When we take into consideration the timing involved and allow for delays and setbacks - and then plan accordingly - we will avoid discouragement, disappointment, and the feeling of standing still or progressing slowly.
Managing Disappointment
No matter how hard we work, we will fail to achieve our goals from time to time - not fun! Yet our failures can be lessons which ultimately determine our character and change our life for the best.
Celebration
Take time to review or take stock as it were, of everything that we've accomplished and celebrate our successes, alone and with others. Even if our efforts have not come to fruition yet, take the time to celebrate the decision to shape our lives!
FINISH LINE
Now, what do you take away from this Newsletter?
- Determine what you don't want in your life - then
- Change it into something you want
- Now is the time to stand out and not just fit into the Status Quo - and
- "If things start happening, don't worry, don't stew, just go right along and you'll start happening too." - Dr. Seuss
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