Confidence and Moving Mountains

Confidence is highly regarded, and for good reasons. However, people tend to talk about confidence like a genetic trait: either you have it or you don't. I respectfully disagree. And here is my counter-argument.

What are the components of confidence? How can you increase your confidence?  

Here are some answers for your consideration:

Belief in Your Abilities - With confidence, you believe you can succeed. You create goals which you expect to achieve. You relish a challenge, and you can cope with setbacks. Such self-support is very empowering and motivating.

Assertiveness - Assertiveness is about being able to stand up for what you believe in and take action on your own behalf. If you can assert your needs, you will be able to enjoy life, knowing you are taking an active role in it.

Recognizing Opportunity - Confident people are able to recognize that, regardless of the circumstances, there are always options. The knowledge that making positive choices today will lead to a better future trains you to stay focused and quickly realize when opportunities are being presented to you.

Valuing Yourself - An important ingredient for self-confidence is the realization of how valuable a person you are. Missteps and false starts are inevitable. Will your mistakes define you? Or will you let them be your teachers? Know that you have the ability to grow and move forward.

Personal responsibility - Having confidence enables you to take responsibility for your life. You are able to recognize how much you are in charge of your thoughts and actions. Taking responsibility also allows you to recognize your achievements as yours, rather than attributing them to luck or the actions of other people.

Other people - To boost your confidence, you want positive people in your life who enhance your wellbeing. Although most of the work comes from within, you need to surround yourself with colleagues, friends, and loved ones who appreciate you. 

And now, let's put all this to work together:

Homework Assignment

1. If you're having trouble taking action, ask yourself, "What would be the worst outcome?" We tend to place excess importance on potential problems. Instead of wasting energy worrying, analyze your fears. Are the things you fear likely to occur? If so, how will you manage them? If you're worried about failure, don't be. We all fail from time to time. You will bounce back. Take action on what you have control over and minimize risks for what you don't. Then invest your energy wisely.
2.  Disengage the nagging, negative internal critical voice that can keep anyone stuck. To disengage the internal voice, imagine a volume control and lower the volume. Or simply change the voice. Do you think you could take Mickey Mouse seriously if he was criticizing you? The point is to disengage the critical voice by altering the way it nags at you.
3.  When doing something for the first time, imagine that you have already done it. Close your eyes, and then vividly imagine yourself succeeding at what you are planning to do. The mind does not know the difference between something vividly imagined and something real. Make it vivid by involving all 5 senses.
4.  Find someone who is already confident in the area of expertise you need and watch how they get things done. Model their behaviors, attitudes, values, and beliefs. Talk with them. If you don't have access to them, get as much exposure to them as you can via others you know.
5. Act as if you already have confidence. How would you feel? What would you do? How would you speak? What would you think? How would you talk to yourself? By asking yourself these questions, you compel yourself to answer them by going into a confident state. You will then be acting "As-if" you were confident. Eventually this will become a habit.
6. Project yourself into the future and ask if what you're faced with is as onerous as you fear. Is what you're faced with now even going to pop up? That's highly unlikely. Keeping things in proper perspective really diminishes fear.
7. Most of all, remember that you lose out on 100% of the opportunities that you never go for. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. To get what you want, go for it..etc. etc.. Ask. Ask. Ask. And then ask some more. People like to help. Let them. And help others when you can, too.

 In conclusion, even if you thought that you were not born confident, now you have a few reasons to help you change your mind...

Confidence is empowering. I invite you to adopt it.

"And will you succeed? Yes! You will indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)"... "KID, YOU WILL MOVE MOUNTAINS!"- Dr. Seuss