As we leave behind the ebullience of the holidays, many have begun to work in earnest on their New Year's resolutions. Some are battling bulging figures and credit card balances; others are committed to children's extracurricular activities, private school or college applications.  Most will be working hard at making everything perfect and at pleasing everybody else.

 "New year; old story". I recently heard.  "We're at the starting line, ready for another round of the Rat Race. Sure, we crossed the finish line last year: exhausted, unsure of the point of it all, and not just a little angry that - despite our terrific efforts - we still finished as rats." 

This leads me to offer Polonius's last piece of advice to his son, Laertes in Shakespeare's Hamlet: "This above all: to thine own self be true".  As Polonius sees it, focusing on material pursuits or social prestige are "false" to the self. By "false" Polonius seems to mean "disadvantageous" or "detrimental to your image"; by "true" he means "loyal to your own best interests."

With this, the intent of this newsletter is not to pontificate about what one should or should not do in the pursuit of life.  It is to explore a paradoxical maxim of life: take care of yourself first, and that way you'll be in a position to take care of others.  As a familiar voice would say, "put your own oxygen mask first before you help someone put on theirs."  

Let's consider someone who says, "Look at the sacrifices I'm making so you can have a better life".  Contrast that with another person who demonstrates living a great life every day. Self-sacrifice per se is not a virtue.  Living a great life and sharing that life with others is one way to nobility.

Failing to care for ourselves can be easier because it offers us a false security of pretending that we have no needs. This is disingenuous and fosters an atmosphere of deprivation for those around us. In short, self-care is not optional or extra-credit. It is part of living a meaningful life.

But many of us still have Industrial-Age views of work and play, and we don't know how to leave behind the Rat Race and really begin living. Why not simply be creative and sincere?  And here are a few ideas:

 1.    Set Boundaries - When you reach the limit of what you can manage, say NO to additional requests for your time and energy.

 2.    Think for Yourself - Don't blindly follow tradition or conventions of your family, community, or religion.

 3.    Live Passionately, Intensely and ultimately Fearlessly.  Need an inspiration?  Try Beethoven's Ode to Joy.  Then choose something you enjoy and lose yourself in it.

4.    Commit to Stay Resolute - Once you start giving yourself time to enjoy your personal time, stick with it.  In order to achieve something new, you're going to have to do new things. Resolutions are usually made because people are looking to change something about themselves. This is an opportunity to take a new approach. It isn't the resolution that is so much the focus, but the change in you that will make all the difference.

5.     Consider working with a Life Coach - We can get lost in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, finding ourselves focused on urgent, but low-priority tasks. Feedback from a life coach will keep you on track to meeting your major life goals. Contact information can be found at the end of this letter.

It's no accident that the two most often-quoted lines from Shakespeare's prolific body of work both revolve around authenticity: "To be, or not to be: that is the question" and "This above all: to thine own self be true."

It can be difficult to justify time for ourselves, But therein lies the irony: it's all for us. This time that we get - it is all ours.  But without the option of adding as much quantity as we would like, it only makes sense that we focus on creating as much quality as we can.

So join me as we leave Rat Race Stadium and seek a place that challenges us, engages us, and helps us feel more fully alive.

Do you dare?