Resilience - What to do about it?
If you read my March Newsletter, you have at your disposal some suggestions on how to increase your ability to work and live well emotionally, mentally and physically (resilience).
In this month's newsletter, I offer an exercise to help you put those skills into practice and overcome obstacles. And I add the challenge of going a step further: of bouncing high - coming back tougher, wiser, and stronger than ever before. Enjoy!
Homework
Think quick: Someone, anyone, gives you a problem to solve in thirty minutes. How do you respond?
Allow me to bring an example of response to a difficult situation in US history: Lyndon Baines Johnson. Mr. Johnson was one president in the 1900s who decided not to run for re-election. He could only find two solutions to the Vietnam War, reportedly his biggest problem: use nuclear weapons or surrender. Neither solution was acceptable. So he obsessed over things he had no control over and his inability to find different and viable options crippled his ability to move forward.
Possible responses
The Response of Non-Resilient People
- Become anxious
- 'Burn' through solutions: tossing out ideas before fully vetting them
- Decide the next idea is going to be the solution and start lobbying for it
- Present undeveloped ideas only to be floored when they are rejected
The Response of Resilient People
- Ask for a list of criteria for success
- Ground themselves
- Figure out how to align personal skill set with success criteria
- Brainstorm to find a handful of ideas, usually six to eight
How do you become more resilient? Here is your homework
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Pick a problem you are facing
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List the criteria for success
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Brainstorm and list six or eight ideas that may solve the problem
The following is to be read only after completing the homework.
Exercise Feedback
(1) Evaluate your ideas
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None of your ideas fulfill all of your criteria
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One or two ideas match the majority of your criteria
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One or two of your ideas do not match any criteria
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Two to four of your ideas meet some criteria
(2) Present your strongest idea to the person who presented the problem
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You have alternatives to present if it is rejected
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Gives you an opportunity to engage the person in merging or improving on your ideas and allows the other person to take ownership and have alternatives
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Stay calm and confident in the knowledge that you have done your job
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Afterwards, either write out or represent visually in the form of a graph or flow chart what happened, the things you would have done differently, and how you envision using what you have learned in the future.
(3) Congratulate yourself
- You are now even more resilient
- And, if your boss patted you on the back and said:" thank you! You have earned it!" wouldn't that bring you a great sense of fulfillment and satisfaction? In fact, when was the last time anyone patted you on the back?