When the Status Quo is Not an Option
Newsletter by Pivotal ChangesAPRIL 2010 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
"Thank you - You have Earned It!"

 

During the weekend of April 16th, along with approximately 13,000 other cyclists, I completed the MS-150 Ride.  Along the ride, many times over, the same sign thanked the riders for their contribution to the cause of extinguishing multiple sclerosis.  What caught my attention was the sign did not simply state "thank you," a phrase so frequently used as to be a nicety. Instead we were told why we were being thanked: because we had earned it. Whoever wrote those signs got it.

 

It is an amazing and honorable task to be able to help others when called upon both in time of need and to solve a problem. During the MS-150 and as part of a team, I found greatest satisfaction in answering that call by doing my best at training and raising money.  In the end, I made it to Austin with a satisfied smile that made up for the aches. I had worked hard for that "thank you," and I was humbled by the graciousness with which it was recognized. This is the same feeling experienced when someone (e.g. a boss) recognizes your efforts.  And the biggest sense of fulfillment comes when you know how hard you have worked to earn that recognition. 

 

This is why I love life coaching. When coaching is successful, you, the client, have done all the hard work and have earned success, recognition, and some time to celebrate.

 

The MS-150 experience inspired me to write this newsletter.

Resilience - What to do about it?
If you read my March Newsletter, you have at your disposal some suggestions on how to increase your ability to work and live well emotionally, mentally and physically (resilience). 
 
In this month's newsletter, I offer an exercise to help you put those skills into practice and overcome obstacles. And I add the challenge of going a step further: of bouncing high - coming back tougher, wiser, and stronger than ever before. Enjoy!
 
Homework
Think quick: Someone, anyone, gives you a problem to solve in thirty minutes.  How do you respond? 
 
Allow me to bring an example of response to a difficult situation in US history:  Lyndon Baines Johnson.  Mr. Johnson was one president in the 1900s who decided not to run for re-election.  He could only find two solutions to the Vietnam War, reportedly his biggest problem: use nuclear weapons or surrender. Neither solution was acceptable.  So he obsessed over things he had no control over and his inability to find different and viable options crippled his ability to move forward.
 
Possible responses
 
The Response of Non-Resilient People
  • Become anxious
  • 'Burn' through solutions: tossing out ideas before fully vetting them
  • Decide the next idea is going to be the solution and start lobbying for it
  • Present undeveloped ideas only to be floored when they are rejected
 
The Response of Resilient People
  • Ask for a list of criteria for success
  • Ground themselves
  • Figure out how to align personal skill set with success criteria
  • Brainstorm to find a handful of ideas, usually six to eight
 
How do you become more resilient? Here is your homework
  1. Pick a problem you are facing
  2. List the criteria for success
  3. Brainstorm and list six or eight ideas that may solve the problem
 
The following is to be read only after completing the homework.
 
Exercise Feedback
 
(1) Evaluate your ideas
  • None of your ideas fulfill all of your criteria
  • One or two ideas match the majority of your criteria
  • One or two of your ideas do not match any criteria
  • Two to four of your ideas meet some criteria
 
(2) Present your strongest idea to the person who presented the problem
  • You have alternatives to present if it is rejected
  • Gives you an opportunity to engage the person in merging or improving on your ideas and allows the other person to take ownership and have alternatives
  •  Stay calm and confident in the knowledge that you have done your job
  • Afterwards, either write out or represent visually in the form of a graph or flow chart what happened, the things you would have done differently, and how you envision using what you have learned in the future.
 
(3) Congratulate yourself 
  • You are now even more resilient
  • And, if your boss patted you on the back and said:" thank you! You have earned it!" wouldn't that bring you a great sense of fulfillment and satisfaction?  In fact, when was the last time anyone patted you on the back?
     
 
 
If you are ready to get started or know of someone who is, and would like more information about working with me as your coach, please visit
www.pivotalchanges.com , and fill out the information form in the Contact Us section. I will promptly get back to you with information about rates and logistics.
 
If you are ready for a Pivotal Change...Let's get started today!