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Just an Illusion
Over the years, I have been under a spell. The spell of believing myself to be separate and different from everyone else. When my family came to the States, I was a toddler. English was not our first language, obviously. I was dressed differently, had different "rules" at home and had to learn the social and cultural rules "out there" in order to "survive' as I grew older. As the years passed, I fell further and further under this spell, or belief that, no matter what, I would always be different, and I believed that to be a curse. I remember taking polls of my family members and friends, asking for people's input, and then I'd craft a "safe" middle-of-the-road path and pray it would be OK. That I would be OK as in, not stand out, not get noticed, not make a fool of myself. Blend. I wanted to blend in.
In my early '20's I tried BEING like people I admired, hoping I'd become them and thus fit in, be accepted, "succeed," you name it... I wanted to be anything but me. I would turn myself inside-out in order to mirror what I thought others expected of me too. A further convolution.
I even attacked my body but working out like crazy for 13 years, in a predominately all-male bodybuilding world. Not a big surprise that I would end up marrying one of the "old timers" (someone from the old school of working out), a protector kind of a guy with a perfect attendance record as a telephone engineer. I believed that if I could get the marriage thing going, I'd go under the radar and just be OK. Years later, while on my life-changing Rotary-sponsored Group Study Exchange trip to eastern Germany, I was more scared than anything! I suddenly saw how I had heaped on the illusion of security and found that security was not something that I could buy, imitate, marry, or pretend to have. If I didn't feel at ONE on the inside, I would never feel secure with the supposed "going-ons" of the outside (world).
In retrospect, I see all the illusions I was drawn to... Maybe the right job would do it, or the right man, or the right body, or the right "look," or the right state/country. I moved from the Northeast to live in Texas and saw how the South still hated the North. Or I moved to eastern Germany and saw how neither "side" (neither eastern nor western German) could actually "see" or appreciate "the other." I was drawn to divisions, to illusions of separation. It defined me.
I've even tried out countless religions over the years, going as far as letting myself get dunked to fit in with my Baptist friends in Houston.
Sometimes I even wished I had a different heritage so that I could have a cause to belong to/fight for... For example, while living in Berlin, I met a lot of Irish people and wished I was Irish so that I too could get all worked up about their cause "back home!" It's the old "us-them" thing. A total waste of energy.
Since 2004, I've been walking on the Path of XPR, a Path of Awakening. It hasn't been immediate, believe me, however, I feel I have finally landed back where I started: at home. I am at home in my own skin. I don't have to make myself pretend I'm something I'm not. I don't have to make me acceptable to you.
I don't have to make a distinction between the haves and the have nots. I get to own my projections and look at my part in creating the illusion of separation. I no longer fear being rejected because I am no longer rejecting myself. It's been a cirquitious path, and I've needed every bend in the road to bring me where I am today. Thank you, God/dess, Universe, Spirit, for showing me way to dance, to lighten up, and feel whole, not full of holes. What a blessing. Yours, Verena-EL ("Verena-Eagle Laughing;" EL also stands for "Angel" in Hebrew).
P.S. While writing this, I had been watching an older movie F/X with Byan Brown and Brian Dennehy. The end title song is "Just an Illusion" performed by "Imagination." Divine Timing.
Photo1: Rainbow Trees, Fairleigh Dickinson University-Florham Park, Madison, NJ
Photo2: Verena sliding down slide, Reading, PA
Photo3: heart-shaped leaf dangling from tree, Hackensack, NJ
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Quote of the Month
The Freedom to Speak
My inner thoughts
What do they say?
They stay inside
Day after day
Not sure who to trust
So staying inside is a must
How I welcome the
Freedom to speak
To say what's on my mind
Each day of the week
And not to be concerned
What others think
Yes, the freedom to speak!
By Pat Maloney
12/01/2011
Photo: Delphine's Japanese Anime Girl
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Indigo-Rainbow-Crystal
Children Magic
 
Photos: Top 3 by Delphine, 10, Pencil
Bottom photo: Delphine, 10, Spanish Seaons, markers
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Virgin of Guadalupe - Before and After Vibrant Verena Gave her a New Life
Photos Below: Verena's "Before and After" of Garden Statue of Virgin of Guadalupe (Verena used acrylic paint to make this statue VIBRANT and come to life!).
To see more of Verena's photos or to see the full-size versions, check out Vibrant Visions International's website!
Latest photos viewable via the "2011 12 - 2012 01 Photos" folder.
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 Vibrant Visions International's Calendar of Events & Top Picks
Scroll down to see Verena's Top Picks from our VIBRANT VISIONS INTERNATIONAL ONLINE CALENDAR which is updated daily*. NOTE: All events are subject to change. Please call and confirm event details prior to traveling. Contact us if you receive conflicting dates or data. Thanks!
*Go to the Vibrant Visions International LLC website and click on "Calendar of Events" and scroll through our calendar. Contact information and registration information is also listed per event. Calendar listings also includes events hosted by professional associations such as the New Jersey Professional Coaches Association (NJPCA), New Jersey Association of Women Business Owners (NJAWBO), Institute for Sustainable Enterprise (ISE), etc. Please also check their websites for latest details.
Newsletters are now archived: Check them out via "Newsletter Archive" on our new website.Appointments: Please feel free to make your private coaching ap pointment or complimentary assessment with Verena directly via our Online Appointment Scheduler. Please note that Verena's Vibrant Visions International LLC offerings are listed and described separately above in this newsletter and maybe listed below in Purple. Additional listings are in red.
Photo1: Gayle Gruenberg, Let's Get Organized, and Verena Visser Aibel, NJAWBO
Photo2: Feathery Angelic Wings in Sky, Hackensack, NJ
Photo3: Verena in Times Square, NYC, NY
************************************************************** Verena Speaking at the New Jersey Association of Women Business Owner's (NJAWBO) Sussex-Warren Holiday Party. Topic: "New Years' Resolution: Identifying Your Energy Vampires & Setting Boundaries"
December 12, 2011 (Monday): 6:30 -9:00 pm EST
Location: Lakeside Grill, 25 Lakeside Blvd, Hopatcong, NJ 07843 | 973-398-4000
About the Speaker: Verena Visser Aibel, Visionary, Shaman, XPR Path of Awareness Advisor & Owner, Vibrant Visions International
We all know what a technical energy drain or "vampire" are ... air conditioning, keeping the television on for hours, etc. Well, there is such thing as an energy vampire of another kind, the kind of feeling we may have when we are around certain people or when we do something that seems to "sap" our energy. Join us as we unmask those types of people, activities, or even types of thinking that may "bring us down" or do something to rob us of our joy. Next, we'll see what we can to challenge them so they don't steal our personal/professional peace of mind and subsequent success!
Fun-Fundraiser After Verena's Talk: Verena, a member of NJAWBO Bergen, and a professional coach, tarot reader, has agreed to offer laser coaching/laser tarot card readings on a first-come, first served basis ($1 per minute suggested love donation). A portion of the proceeds will be donated to DASI and NORWESCAP. For more information about Verena, go to: Vibrant Visions International. You are also invited to bring a "white elephant" gift. We will have fun, with a fun filled gift exchange. What is a "white elephant" gift - well, its that gift that is still sitting in your house unused but someone else would LOVE!! It is a chance to re-gift. Value to be about $10. To Register, got to: njawbosw-december2011; Members & First Time Guests: $30 in advance; Non-members: $35 in advance; $40 at the door. Photo: Carla Gaeta and Verena at Affinity Federal Credit Union for their First Annual Wine Cheese Chocolate Ladies Night Out, sponsored by Junior Women's Club of Somerset Hills
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New Jersey Professional Coaches Association's (NJPCA) Bergen County Group Meeting (new monthly meeting on the 2nd Tuesday)
December 13, 2011 (Tuesday): 10:00 am - 12:00 pm EST
Location: Whole Foods Paramus, Rt 4 East, 300 Bergen Town Center, Paramus NJ 07652, 201-670-0383, www.WholeFoodsMarket.com. This special group has been on hiatus for a while, let's get together to meet each other and discuss how we can support one another. Meet other coaches and individuals seeking to become coaches. RSVP: Call or email Sarah Jack, sarahcoaches@gmail.com, 201-530-5850.
Photo: Verena and Singer-Songwriter, Dar Williams at the Sanctuary Circle Concert in Chatham,  NJ
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Laura Berman-Fortgang presents: "Find Your Inner Glitter with Life Coach Lurlene" (New Jersey Professional Coaches Association) An Evening of Entertainment and Self-Improvement December 14, 2011 (Wednesday) 6 - 9:00 pm EST  Location: Crowne Plaza Hotel, 36 Valley Rd., Clark, NJ 07066, 732-574-0100 Join Life Coach Lurlene (Laura Berman Fortgang) aspiring "Life Coach to the Stars" in an evening of YOUR personal transformation. With her high-impace comedic approach to turning your life right-side-up, Lurlene leaves no stone unturned with her ridiculously inspiring hands-on approach. Learn, grow, laugh and be changed. For more info: njcoaches.org. Fee: $39 Members; $44 non-members. Photo: Laura Berman-Fortgang *******************************************************************
New Jersey Association of Women Business Owner's (NJAWBO) Bergen Chapter Breakfast Networking 
December 15, 2011 (Thursday): 8:00 - 9:30 am EST
Location: Panera's Bakery Cafe, 165 Route 4 West (in Kohl's Shopping Center), Paramus, NJ
Join us to for networking and help us brainstorm solutions to a member-presented challenge. Fee: Members: $10.00; Non-Members: $15.00 cash only.
For reservations and information, call the NJAWBO Bergen Chapter hotline e-mail Joanne Clark at jcwills@optonline.net or check out New Jersey Association of Women Business Owners-Bergen Chapter.
Photo: Miri Upton, Wells Fargo Advisors, and Verena at recent NJAWBO New Members Luncheon Showcase, Clinton Inn, Tenafly, NJ
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Institute for Sustainable Enterprise (ISE)/CHRMS Breakfast
December 16, 2011 (Friday) 7:30 - 9:30 am EST
Location: Fairleigh Dickinson University, Lenfell Hall, The Mansion (Bldg. #1)
285 Madison Ave, Madison, NJ 07940.
Register: www.fdu.edu/forms/chrmsregister.html or email your rsvp to pniewski@fdu.edu. Information: Call ISE/CHRMS at 973-443-8577. Fee: $40 ($25 non profit organization members).
Photo: Seagulls at the Hackensack River, Teaneck, NJ ******************************************************************* Being Well Within Tips On De-Stressing Free Seminar and Book Signing & Dessert Reception
December 17, 2011 (Saturday) 3:00 - 5:00 pm EST
Location:Blooming Hearts Treasure Shop, 175 Center Ave., Westwood, NJ 07675; 201-497-8787 Wellness Practitioners, Loren Gelberg-Goff, LCSW and Dr. Carmel-Ann Mania, Chiropractor, creators and partners of Being Well Within, a personal development and wellness practice based in River Edge, N.J., will celebrate the publication of their first book, "Being Well Within: From Distressed to De-Stressed. *******************************************************************
Special Winter Solstice Experience Reflections & Inspiration
with Meditation & Sound Healing. Location: Paramus, NJ December 22, 2011 (Thursday) Two Times Scheduled: 10:30 - 12:00 noon; and 7:30 - 9:00 pm EST  Join Lois Kramer Perez, Intuitive Feng Shui & Meditative Healing & Linda Lindemann-Gros, Karuna Reiki Master Teacher invite you to this experience as we move into the season of winter, the element of water, it is time for us to align with nature once more, through reflection & inspiration. We will reflect on how words can evoke emotions & feelings. Connecting to words that can bring us to a State of Grace... a perfect state to reflect, we can truly connect to inspiration and set our intentions. Guided Meditations & Sound Healing will help guide us. Linda will once again, create the vibrations for the ultimate sound experience, with her crystal bowls. These frequencies & sounds are key to expanding our energy and invoking inspiration.
$38.00 per person prepaid to reserve you seat. Confirmation will be sent with details & payment information as soon as you register to reserve your seat. Contact Lois for all details & to reserve your space as as seating is limited. 201.906.5767; lois@loiskramerperez.com
******************************************************************* New Jersey Association of Women Business Owner's (NJAWBO) Bergen Chapter Breakfast Networking January 12, 2012 (Thursday): 8:00 - 9:30 am EST
Location: Panera's Bakery Cafe, 165 Route 4 West (in Kohl's Shopping Center), Paramus, NJ Join us to for networking and help us brainstorm solutions to a member-presented challenge. Fee: Members: $10.00; Non-Members: $15.00 cash only. For reservations and information, call the NJAWBO Bergen Chapter hotline e-mail Joanne Clark at jcwills@optonline.net or check out New Jersey Association of Women Business Owners-Bergen Chapter. Photo: ******************************************************************* "Naturally Finding Your True Voice" 4-week course with Verena Visser Aibel, instructor
March 29 - April 19, 2012 (4 Consecutive Thursdays from 7 - 9 pm)
Location: Women's Institute, Bergen Community College, Moses Center (Dept. of Continuing Ed.) 400 Paramus Road, Technology Building, Room T-119, Paramus NJ 07652-15 92
Do you feel that you have gone through life not being heard? Have you always been there for others and lost yourself in the process? Have you come to the point of enough with your suffering? If so, join us to discover leading-edge strategies that will enable you to "Be the Change You Wish to See." Find where you lost your keys and get back into your home - where your "heART" is. Learn how to better hear and thus speak the voice of your genius through powerful explorations and playful transmissions. Experience a natural sense of grace and serenity, no matter what your life circumstances may be.
To register for WI 022 - Session 002: Naturally Finding Your True Voice, call BCC: 201-447-7488. See Catalog PDF (p. 133): www.bergen.edu/continuinged. If you have questions, please call Verena directly at 201-487-6910 or 551-486-7365. Fee for 4 sessions; $85 plus $6 materials fee to be paid directly to the the instructor. Instructor: Verena Visser Aibel, Vibrant Visions International.
Photo: Crazy Verena on hike led by 10 year old girl
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Animal of the Month
Mouse 
In our June-July 2010 newsletter (see Newsletter Archives), we had a really funny description for a cat's diary and a dog's diary... It's the mouse's turn to be heard now. I had discovered a dead one in our basement at home. I then discovered that our first floor neighbor was troubled by mice in her kitchen. Unbeknowst to my dad, he made the above birthday card for me, featuring a mouse eating some birthday cake... Funny guy! Well, let 's see what MOUSE has to teach us. The following are excerpts from Ted Andrews' Animal-Speak. Keynote:Attention to Detail Cycle of Power: Five - to Six-Week Cycles ... for those with a mouse totem, there will be areas in which fastidiousness and attention to detail is highly concentrated, while in other areas there may be neglect. This paradox is often a source of confusion and sometimes irritation to those who live and work with mouse people. Most mice store food, as well as search out food all year round. All predators feed on mice. To compensate for this, mice will have three or four litters a year. They survive because of their numbers. The deer mouse mother, as with most mice, will care for the young about five weeks. Then the young are on their own. Because of this, if a mouse has come into your life, its energies will be most strongly felt for about five to six weeks. When mouse shows up as a totem, it is either time to pay attention to details, or an indication that you cannot see the forest for the trees. You may be getting so locked into details that you forget the big picture. As yourself some important questions. Are you taking care of the trivial but necessary things in life? Are you getting so lost in the big dreams that you are neglecting other aspects of your life? Are you becoming so focused on one or two activities that you are neglecting to see other opportunities? Are you missing what is right in front of you? Is there something obvious that you are missing or need to focus on? Are you trying to do too many things at once and thereby scattering your energies? Mouse medicine can show you how to focus and pay attention to detail. It can show you how to attain the big things by working on the little things. Whenever mouse shows up there are lessons associated with attention. Photo: Birthday card drawing by Verena's father, Rudy Visser
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Vibrant Visions International provides Corporate Development
Training and Coaching
A Change Agent, Verena's open and enthusiastic demeanor quickly disarms and engages even the most recalcitrant of traditionalists or rebels. Being an excellent listener and communicator, Verena excels at finding common ground as she readily hears, and reflects back, the "still quiet voice" that eludes so many. Her highly diverse background and global perspective has provided Verena with the opportunity and the privilege of assisting a wide range of leaders and organizations.
Verena's key brainstorming strategy is to ask: "Is there another way of looking at it?" She also employs a highly successful and interactive "Top Ten List" approach at capturing salient ideas, messages or material for training, educational, or promotional purposes. In less than four years, Verena's Top Tens articles have appeared in over 260 publications and have reached an estimated 800,000 online subscribers around the globe.
Verena's lifelong commitment to knowledge underscores all her endeavors. She was one of the first students at Pennsylvania State University to pursue the Communication Studies Major and subsequently graduated with a BA/Communication Studies with Honors. Her area of specialization was Interpersonal and Organizational Communication from. In 2001, Verena became a Certified Coach Training Program (CTP) Graduate from the Coach University (CoachU), an International Coaching Federation (ICF) approved program.
Verena is an active member of the International Coaching Federation, New Jersey Association of Women Business Owners (NJAWBO), New Jersey Professional Coaches Association (NJPCA), and the Women's Institute of the Bergen Community College.
For further information or to schedule an appointment or complimentary "Power to Change" conversation, please contact Verena Visser Aibel, President & Founder, Vibrant Visions International, a global coaching and consulting enterprise, via Verena@VibrantCoach.com; 201-487-6910; or www.VibrantCoach.com. Photo: Verena, Netta Weisman, and Pat Maloney at BCC, Paramus, NJ |
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