F. E. A. R. = "Forget Everything And Run" or
F. E. A. R. = "Face Everything And Recover" -- What Do YOU Chose?
During these interesting times, we are bombarded by such an incredible amount of hype and hysterical thinking, it's challenging to maintain a sense of proportion and balance. What do you do when people speak with fear? How do you  handle fearful thoughts? Do you choose to "Forget Everything And Run" or do you choose to remember where your feet are planted and "Face Everything And Recover?"
Speaking from personal experience, I've tried both methods and remembering where my feet are, literally, helps me keep my head together! Going on regular spiritual retreats also reminds me that I am part of a much greater Plan than I can imagine during times of stress and transition. This September I went to a retreat at the Stella Maris Retreat Center on the beach at Elberon, NJ. While there, I learned about a program called WaterSpirit, an ecology and spirituality ministry that offers seaside in-service/retreat days for schools and religious education staffs as well as for individuals. I plan to go to their Winter Solstice on Dec. 21st and Spa Spirit Day on February 11th.
My Daily Routine to Stay in Love/Faith versus Fear? I take conscious steps (funny, huh?!) each day to put myself on a gentle path that guides me and buffers me against the negativity that is free for the taking. I get up early and do my morning meditation, pick my clothes based on color and vibrancy, catch a portion of a 12-step support group meeting, get back and bring daughter to school and husband to the train station, and come back to my lovely home office. I have a light breakfast on my fabulous porch, and then go inside and select a different
Colour Energy Chakra-coded Essential Oil Blends* for my Heavenly Scent
Ultrasonic Ionizer Aromatherapy Diffuser (Curious to find out what your Colour Energy Colors are? Contact me for an assessment with coaching! We can do this via telephone/email or in person).
When I'm having an especially tough day, I spritz some of Colour Energy's Aura Cleanser* and step through it and remember that "All is well." I might even do a quick Osho Zen tarot* card reading or pick one of Mahalene Louis' hat/QKabbalah hat cards (Hebrew). Always, I listen to excellent music such as two new artists for me: Cecilia's "Voice of the Feminine Spirit" (she has an amazing version of "Amazing Grace") and Karen Drucker's "Songs of the Spirit" CD's (she has three) and "All about Love" CD. My all time favorites are still Enya and Loreena McKennitt. *By the way, these are items that I also provide for sale.
Having handy
"comebacks" or responses to other people's spoken stuff can be very
helpful too. Here is an article I originally wrote in 2003:
Top Ten Comebacks When Someone Says Something Inappropriately
Author: Verena Visser Aibel, Owner, Vibrant Visions International LLC, a Global Coaching and Consulting Enterprise
Category: Communication Skills, Language, Expression
How you ever been in the position of not knowing what to say or do when someone tells you something that you don't like or that you feel is inappropriate or simply rude? The key to making these verbal comebacks work is the timing. Pause first, take a deep breath, keep your voice low-keyed, sound and look a bit incredulous (if you can see the offending party). Use only one comeback at a time. If you need more than one, maybe you need to break off the communication with this person right away!
1. Oh, really?
Enough said. Move on.
2. How interesting.
Don't reveal what you really think if you don't want to go there. Say this in a monotone fashion. Interesting is not a put down nor is it a signal for the other party to elaborate.
3. Excuse me, would you mind repeating that?
This forces the other party to repeat in their head first, what they just said out loud to you. If it was inappropriate or rude, they typically won't or can't repeat it the same way twice. They have effectively eaten their words. Very cool. You just need to let it go and move on. Everyone saves face.
4. Excuse me, I didn't hear you (or, did I hear you correctly?).
See point #3. Remember, this only works if you truly seem incredulous.
5. I'm sure you didn't mean to say what you just said.
Would you like to rephrase that? This gives them a benefit of a doubt. You give them a second chance to say something of benefit.
6. It's OK if we agree to disagree.
Can you live with that? This makes it clear that you obviously have another opinion. Asking if they are OK with it is a way to see if they are attached to the outcome (that you agree with them) or not.
7. I'm not sure how what you just said relates to the topic we're discussing.
Can you make the connection clearer for me? Sometimes people get on a roll and keep on rolling. A way to cut them short is to ask them to make the connection or otherwise refocus. This gives them the benefit of a doubt.
8. I'm sure you believe what you're saying is true.
I chose to look at things from a slightly different point of view. Would you like to hear mine? It's OK to validate their point of view. You don't have to buy into it though, if it doesn't resonate with you. Don't give your point of view unless asked. Why get into it if the other party isn't really interested in truly listening to you anyway?
9. I feel uncomfortable when you use obscenities (or tell an off-color joke).
Please stop or I will have to leave (or ask you to leave). Make it clear what you will or will not tolerate. Have a clear consequence and follow through on it if need be. Be strong. It'll pay off in the end.
10. I like (love, admire, care for) you but I don't always like what you say (or do).
Focus on the behavior, not the person. Don't name-call. It will add fuel to the fire if there's already a negativity in the air. Be calm, be cool, and state your truth.
Photo (top right): Nature's sudsy pedicure at the beach at Elberon, NH,
Photo (middle): Three shadows on the beach, Elberon, NJ.
Photo (below): Colour Energy Banner
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 Are YOU enjoying a Vibrant Life
Rich with Vibrant Visions and Color?
How
great would it be if you were to give yourself the gift of your most
cherished vision? Or the gift of beautifully handling your biggest
challenge or transition?
Imagine giving yourself permimssion to
enjoy a full year to discover, explore, experiment, brainstorm, and
create brilliant connections, relationships, pathways or strategies?
Desire the inspiration, support, and tools for major transformation and growth? --How about Coaching with Verena? Experience the amazing power and joy of expressing and
creating your ideal life, relationship, and/or profession. Schedule
a complimentary consultation where you get to know about our options
and where we can learn about your particular situation to see if we are
a fit! We are here
for you, whether you are just starting out, starting over, or have hit
what seems like a roadblock.
Desire a short term solution?--How
about a "Just in Time" Coaching appointment when you desire a sounding
board or feedback to create clarity around a single issu.e, situation,
or question, or when you just want a good old-fashioned pep talk?
Want a personality assessment? --How about A Colour Energy Personality Profile and a beautiful Colour Energy book as a resource?
Looking for a speaker or workshop presentation for your office or organization? Tell us what you are looking for and we'll help you out ourselves or refer you!
Don't know what you want?
--Just call, we'll listen. Telephone: 201-487-6910 EST or email:
Verena@VibrantCoach.com. For more information and links, check out our
website: Vibrant Visions International LLC.
Global and Local Access: We work
with clients in person as well as remotely.
Photo (top): Colorful berries or grapes near the beach, Elberon, NJ. |
Quotations of the Month
Chalice Lighting:
Here, we gather,
Casting a circle around a flame as our ancestors have done for ages -
A symbol of the Wheel of Life,
A temple for the celebration of it.
And as we focus our energies toward the center
and on each other,
We become the spokes of the wheel.
One wheel.
On one path
as our individual paths coalesce for now.
Closing Words:
As we loosen the circle and head back to our own paths, we will not forget that we are connected. What we do leaves an imprint on those around us. May we always keep this in mind.
Let us sow the seeds of love into humanity,
And one day share its fruit together, with juice running down our chins.
Both quotations are by John Freund, Songwriter, who
leads the rock band Bigger than a Breadbox
Photo: Deer at Sunrise at the Farleigh Dickinson University-Florham Park Campus, Madison, NJ
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Vibrant Visions International LLC's
Calendar of Events & Top Picks:
VIBRANT VISIONS INTERNATIONAL CALENDAR ONLINE: Our calendar is updated daily online. Go to Vibrant Visions International LLC and click on "Calendar & Appointments" and scroll through our
calendar which we keep updated year-round. Contact information and
registration information is also listed per event. Calendar listings
also includes events hosted by professional associations such as the New Jersey Professional Coaches Association (NJPCA), New Jersey Association of Women Business Owners (NJAWBO)-Bergen, Institute for Sustainable Enterprise, etc. Please also check their websites for latest details.
Questions? Please call 201-487-6910 or email us at Verena@VibrantCoach.com if you have any questions. Please feel free to make your private coaching appointments with Verena directly via our Online Appointment Scheduler. Additional Photos may be seen via Verena's iWeb Photo Albums: Please note that Verena's offerings are in Purple. Additional listings are in red.
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10/2/08 (Thursday) Vibrant Life Skills for Success Workshop with Verena Visser Aibel (7:00 - 8:30 pm). Held monthly on the first Thursday. Join in on an ongoing monthly gathering where participants learn how to make the most of where we are in life, experience the power of visualization, explore life challenges, and share the gifts from our experiences in a sacred and inspiring space. Experience the powerful skill of lightening up and laughing! Questions or to register: Call Verena at 201-4887-6910.
..
Fee: $15.00.
Location: Carousel Healing Center & Boutique: 221 Westwood Ave., Westwood, NJ 07675 (201-722-0133), www.westwoodcarousel.com.
Next workshop: November 6, 2008.
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10/09/08 (Thursday) Shamanic Drumming Circle facilitated by Anne Wennhold, FSS, SSP, Shamanic Practitioner, (8:00 - 9:30 pm). Bi-monthly
Join in on an ongoing drumming circle where participants: Learn
Shamanic drumming techniques; experience Shamanic meditative skills;
and open to new levels of your journey. Please bring a drum or rattle
if you have one, water, a blanket or pillow, pencil, notebook and a
scarf.
Fee: $15 per person.
Questions or to Pre-Register: Please leave a message for Anne Wennhold at 201-947-9295.
Location: Carousel Healing Center & Boutique: 221 Westwood Ave., Westwood, NJ 07675 (201-722-0133), www.westwoodcarousel.com.
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10/21/08 (Tuesday) Taste Test Coaching with a Twist* with Verena Visser Aibel, by Appointment (*optional Osho Zen tarot consultation)
(12:00 - 2:00 pm).
.
Would you like to get a fresh perspective and gain clarity around an
issue, opportunity, or concern? Please note, you may request an Osho
Zen Tarot consultation for focusing & entertainment purposes if you
desire.
Questions or to schedule appointment: Call Verena at 201-487-6910, www.VibrantCoach.com.
Special Introductory Rates:
$20 for 15-minutes; $45 for 30-minutes; $65 for 45-minutes. Location:
Carousel Healing Center & Boutique: 221 Westwood Ave., Westwood, NJ
07675 (201-722-0133), www.westwoodcarousel.com.
Photo: Verena at the Cedar Grove - Wellness Possibilities Expo
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10/23/08 (Thursday) Ladies' Night Out Talk & Tea: Lightening Up and Living Vibrantly with Verena Visser Aibel and Gayle Gruenberg (7:00 - 9:00 pm).
Description: Verena
Visser Aibel, Chief Visionary of Vibrant Visions International LLC,
based in Hackensack, and Gayle M. Gruenberg, CPA, Chief Executive
Organizer of Let's Get Organized LLC, based in Park Ridge, will bring
their enormous combined energy, knowledge, and experience to this lively event! Gruenberg,
recently back from attending the Fall Conference on the National Study
Group on Chronic Disorganization in St. Louis, will be discussing new
 ways to lighten up by getting organized. Aibel, the host of a monthly
Life Skills for Success Workshop at Carousel Healing Center and
Boutique in Westwood will be giving tips on living a vibrant life.
"Clutter
can adversely affect our inner lives as well as our relationships with
others," say Gruenberg. She continues: "When people experience a
significant life event or transition, their organizing systems (or lack
thereof) tend to break down, big time. Old systems may no longer fit
someone's current lifestyle." Aibel states: "Working with a
professional coach and professional organizer helps people experience
life from a completely different perspective. Our clients have told us
that they can actually see more light, feel lighter, breathe better,
and think more clearly."
Learn
how to bring in the light through professional organizing and life
coaching tips from two vibrant and vivacious guides. Attendees are
invited to come with questions about their specific challenges.
Location: Montvale Library, 12 Mercedes Drive, Montvale, NJ, 07645.
Fee: No fee. Light refreshments will be served. Reservations are requested: 201-391-5090. For more
information: Gayle Gruenberg, 201-248-5208, Gayle@LGOrganized.com, or
www.LGOrganized.com. Verena Aibel, 201-487-6910,
Verena@VibrantCoach.com, www.VibrantCoach.com.
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10/23/08 (Thursday) Shamanic Drumming Circle facilitated by Anne Wennhold, FSS, SSP, Shamanic Practitioner, (8:00 - 9:30 pm).
Join in on an ongoing drumming circle where participants: Learn
Shamanic drumming techniques; experience Shamanic meditative skills;
and open to new levels of your journey. Please bring a drum or rattle
if you have one, water, a blanket or pillow, pencil, notebook and a
scarf.
Fee: $15 per person.
To Pre-Register: Please call Carousel at 201-722-0133 or leave a message for Anne Wennhold at 201-947-9295.
Location: Carousel Healing Center & Boutique: 221 Westwood Ave., Westwood, NJ 07675 (201-722-0133), www.westwoodcarousel.com.
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10/24/08 (Tuesday) Taste Test Coaching with a Twist* with Verena Visser Aibel, by Appointment (*optional Osho Zen tarot consultation)
(12:00 - 2:00 pm).
Would you like to get a fresh perspective and gain clarity around an
issue, opportunity, or concern? Please note, you may request an Osho
Zen Tarot consultation for focusing & entertainment purposes if you
desire.
Questions or to schedule appointment: Call Verena at 201-487-6910.
Special Introductory Rates:
$20 for 15-minutes; $45 for 30-minutes; $65 for 45-minutes.
Location:
Carousel Healing Center & Boutique: 221 Westwood Ave., Westwood, NJ
07675 (201-722-0133), www.westwoodcarousel.com.
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Photo: Verena (right) with Faruq Marikar PhDBusiness Growth ConsultantNanobiz, LLC (left) at the Rothman Inst. of Entrepreneurial Studies Innovation Conference at FDU-Florham Park, Madison, NJ.
Photo (below): Joelle Haughey, Change Management Expert (left), Janice Lee Juvrud, (middle) Executive Coach, and Verena Aibel at the Institute for Sustainable Enterprise breakfast at FDU-Florham Park, Madison, NJ
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10/28/08 (Tuesday) "How to Brand Your Company for $5 or Less" with Marion Gordon, IOU/Imprint on Us" (12:00 noon - 2:00 pm).
Network at Noon Lunch Meeting
sponsored by New Jersey Association for Women Business Owners (NJAWBO)
Bergen Chapter.
Location:
Rudy's Restaurant, 107 Anderson St., Hackensack, NJ
To register, call the NJAWBO Bergen Chapter hotline at 201-444-8773, ext. 5 or e-mail Verena Aibel at lunch@njawbobergen.org or check out New Jersey Association of Women Business Owners-Bergen Chapter.
Fee: Members: $17.00; Non-Members: $22.00 - CASH ONLY.
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Photo: Panida (above) from Bangkok Garden Thai Restaurant offering samples at the Hackensack Street Fair.
 Photo (right): Delphine at Mexican Independence Day Parade, Passaic, NJ.
NOTE: All events are subject to change. Please call and confirm event details prior to traveling. Thank you for your understanding.
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